Pretending - ONESHOT
Title: Pretending
Author: SilkeKim
Pairing: Eunwook
Genre: angsty smut
Rating: I’m not sure, but NC-17 just to be on the safe side.
Word count: 650
A/N: this wasn’t what I had wanted when I said I wanted to write an Eunwook smut T_T but I can’t control my mind, it works on its own.
Dedication: I don’t really think anyone wants an angsty smut dedicated to them, but I wrote this because of our common love for the Eunwook pairing ♥ For my wifey
When Ryeowook had been piling up all of his pain and loneliness, (which was usually hidden by a sweet smile,) for a certain amount of time, he would find himself unable to handle it anymore.
He would go out with the sole purpose of getting plastered and when he returned to the dorm Yesung would have chosen this day to visit his parents, because he knew, all of them knew, that Ryeowook wasn't coming home alone.
It differed who he bought home. Sometimes they were complete strangers, a few times they were other idols or coordi noonas.
It was rare that it was a woman, but it happened. Heechul had named those women the 'I have to make sure I'm still gay-women', but Leeteuk had opposed and said that why or who the eternal maknae was fucking had nothing to do with them.
When Ryeowook bought home men, one thing was sure though; he enjoyed it a lot more.
The walls in Super Junior's dorms weren't thick enough at all. And like Kyumin was well-known, so was Ryeowook's drunken adventures.
Ryeowook told himself that no one knew though. That way it was easier to handle the day after.
He could be all sweet smiles and happiness, pretending nothing had happened and the other members would play along, afraid to hurt the maknae who already had so much pain badly hidden behind his smile.
All the members would play along; except for Hyukjae, who would avoid Ryeowook for days afterwards, neither speaking to him nor even looking at him.
Ryeowook pretended that he didn't know why.
Like how he told himself that he just wanted it to be over with while he was being fucked raw by the stranger he had brought home. Like how he pretended that he didn't like it, that it hurt and that he wanted it to stop and the stranger to leave.
But then he pretended that it was Hyukjae hovering over him and he pretended not to notice himself harden further and the day after he would pretend not to have screamed Hyukjae's name as he came.
The pretending was never done. On stage he pretended, in the dorms he pretended and with his parents he pretended even more.
When one day Hyukjae grabbed Ryeowook by the wrist and pulled him into a deserted dance studio Ryeowook pretended not to know why and smiled his most innocent smile at his hyung.
"This has to stop." the older one said.
"What has to?" Ryeowook kept smiling even though he could tell that this 'forever pretending'-thing of his was driving Hyukjae crazy.
"Let's make a deal, Ryeowookie. I want you to be happy, but I'm not swinging that way, not with Donghae and not with you."
And Ryeowook couldn't pretend not to feel slightly saddened at his words, but he did his best to keep his smile.
"But I'll agree to take you to the same level as Donghae. Let's become closer friends. Let's take selca's together, go to the gym together, have more skinship at concerts and share a room at the hotel when we're on tour, okay?"
Ryeowook's eyes widened and his smile faded, despite now actually feeling a spark of the happiness that would usually cause a smile on people's faces.
He had been too used to smiling when he felt sad and now he was confused about what to do, when you felt happy.
"But only if you stop bringing home strangers.” Hyukjae continued.
“And if you're sad about something, you have to tell ME. No drinking! If you really want to get drunk, let's always go together. I can't handle hearing my name from the other side of the wall like that every other month! Understood?"
Ryeowook nodded, completely lost for words.
And Hyukjae pretended that what he had said just now wasn't his way of asking Ryeowook to date him.