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I don't know what I really want anymore. I can't explain anything in my life anymore. Everything just keeps getting all fuck up in my life. Sometimes I wonder what I keep doing wrong. Why does this always happen to me. I just want every damn problem that i had to go away and stay away. I need time to think to everything through. I am kinda glad to be going home this weekend to work and to get my stuff done. I need time to think too but that may be a problem bc dad is going to be like whats going on with you. sometimes my father can get on my nerves. i am going home to work,do laundry and homwork. Next weekend is when i am going to be social bc my sister will be there and so will mat. I don't know what is going on in mat's head and sometimes i would really like for me to understand that. it hurts me when he says stuff. Why are my relationship always seem to fail. i am trying me hardest to figure things out when it comes to that. Its not always going to my problems when it comes to our relationship. Everything can just be really messed up. I wish for everyone to bug off sometimes too. thats all i really have to say right now. later love steph