Finding ones self.
I got news in the mail today that the scholarship application that my late grandmother had sent to Florida for me to Fill out proved successful. I am now $1000 richer, a portion of the money will go towards a day after thanksgiving computer purchase and the extra half will be used to pay off the rest of my credit card. Awesome.
I went out last night with a few of my friends for a 23rd birthday celebration. The night ended with a good amount of them doing blow and me laying on the couch trying to figure out the previous nights events. As a direct result of my drunken pondering, I got 3 hours of sleep. The past few days have been strange as I am not much of a drinker, but each day has been therapeutic in its own right, I suppose. On friday, I learned that guys in bands are pretty much big douchebags (i have always knew this, but that nights events made it more concrete), On saturday I realized whatever feelings I do have left for Scott are pretty fucking strange..strange enough for me to have slight panic attacks and feel if i have to vomit and last night I realized how much I miss the stability of my past life...
I am missing a large part of myself, a large part of my heart. Most people would not recognize me now. I have lost 30lbs doing absolutely nothing and that speaks volumes. I just feel so blank.
I am living for music right now, listening to it just makes me feel so damn good. 15 albums in the past 3 days, it is my addiction.
I went out last night with a few of my friends for a 23rd birthday celebration. The night ended with a good amount of them doing blow and me laying on the couch trying to figure out the previous nights events. As a direct result of my drunken pondering, I got 3 hours of sleep. The past few days have been strange as I am not much of a drinker, but each day has been therapeutic in its own right, I suppose. On friday, I learned that guys in bands are pretty much big douchebags (i have always knew this, but that nights events made it more concrete), On saturday I realized whatever feelings I do have left for Scott are pretty fucking strange..strange enough for me to have slight panic attacks and feel if i have to vomit and last night I realized how much I miss the stability of my past life...
I am missing a large part of myself, a large part of my heart. Most people would not recognize me now. I have lost 30lbs doing absolutely nothing and that speaks volumes. I just feel so blank.
I am living for music right now, listening to it just makes me feel so damn good. 15 albums in the past 3 days, it is my addiction.