(no subject)
Seriously, examine your life. Is this were you wanna be? Are you looking forward too much to enjoy what's right under your nose?
I have come to the conclusion that my band symbolized my childhood. And with the ending of the band, comes the end of my childhood. I am forced to grow up now.
This world is numb to me. I have chosen to live a life that is above things like messing around with girls and partying and being an A-hole to people, because I have investigated my life and have come to the conclusion that there is a better way to live life.
Yet I still feel numb. My head knows exactly how I am going to live my life, but my heart wonders. If I went away to school and hooked up with girls and partied and did whatever I want, could life be any more numb than it is now?
When I was in my band and I was playing shows and touring, I was out on the road with my best friends and I felt alive in a way I have never felt. When I was home I had friends that were exciting, and we went out and lived life and didn't worry. But I was kicked out of the band, and my friends have moved away or grown up and because of that I am forced to grow up and be boring.
Why is it that life seems to always be dictated on other people's terms? I live according to how a higher power wants me to act, My dreams and my childhood has been stripped from me because someone else says I can't be in a band anymore, I sit at home and watch TV because my friends have either moved away or are too grown up to go out and have an adventure.
I feel trapt. I have come to realize that we are all growing up way too fast. This is something everyone wrestles with I'm sure. I hope so at least. I read an interesting article about how we become obsessed with the things we love and we dissect that thing and look at it so closely from every different angle that we forget why we loved in the first place..
I feel like I've been examining my life and my faith so closely and dissecting it that I forgot why I love life. I've chopped life into so many little pieces trying to figure out why it works that it's become just a mess when I used to love life just because it "IS"
The closer you look at things the uglier they are.. I'm 21, honestly 21 and I'm planning for my kid's future already.. I am setting the stones down to one day have a family and then in turn have a kid and then in turn make sure he is happy... I have only lived 1/4 of my life and I'm already worried about what I'm gonna do with the rest of my 3/4 of life...
I used to feel like one of Peter Pan's Lost Boys.. I had the world at my finger tips and I just had to reach out a little tiny bit and grab it and do whatever I wanted with it. But now I feel boring. Honestly, normal people don't settle down till late 20's.. at least mid twenties.. I have 5-7 years left to squeeze everything out of life that I can, but instead I am going to spend that time stuck in school, building a foundation for 60 more years of life..
Should this really be the beginning of the end?
I have come to the conclusion that my band symbolized my childhood. And with the ending of the band, comes the end of my childhood. I am forced to grow up now.
This world is numb to me. I have chosen to live a life that is above things like messing around with girls and partying and being an A-hole to people, because I have investigated my life and have come to the conclusion that there is a better way to live life.
Yet I still feel numb. My head knows exactly how I am going to live my life, but my heart wonders. If I went away to school and hooked up with girls and partied and did whatever I want, could life be any more numb than it is now?
When I was in my band and I was playing shows and touring, I was out on the road with my best friends and I felt alive in a way I have never felt. When I was home I had friends that were exciting, and we went out and lived life and didn't worry. But I was kicked out of the band, and my friends have moved away or grown up and because of that I am forced to grow up and be boring.
Why is it that life seems to always be dictated on other people's terms? I live according to how a higher power wants me to act, My dreams and my childhood has been stripped from me because someone else says I can't be in a band anymore, I sit at home and watch TV because my friends have either moved away or are too grown up to go out and have an adventure.
I feel trapt. I have come to realize that we are all growing up way too fast. This is something everyone wrestles with I'm sure. I hope so at least. I read an interesting article about how we become obsessed with the things we love and we dissect that thing and look at it so closely from every different angle that we forget why we loved in the first place..
I feel like I've been examining my life and my faith so closely and dissecting it that I forgot why I love life. I've chopped life into so many little pieces trying to figure out why it works that it's become just a mess when I used to love life just because it "IS"
The closer you look at things the uglier they are.. I'm 21, honestly 21 and I'm planning for my kid's future already.. I am setting the stones down to one day have a family and then in turn have a kid and then in turn make sure he is happy... I have only lived 1/4 of my life and I'm already worried about what I'm gonna do with the rest of my 3/4 of life...
I used to feel like one of Peter Pan's Lost Boys.. I had the world at my finger tips and I just had to reach out a little tiny bit and grab it and do whatever I wanted with it. But now I feel boring. Honestly, normal people don't settle down till late 20's.. at least mid twenties.. I have 5-7 years left to squeeze everything out of life that I can, but instead I am going to spend that time stuck in school, building a foundation for 60 more years of life..
Should this really be the beginning of the end?