(no subject)
i admit, i havent been the easiest person to be with for a while. i havent given anyone a chance to know why until tonite when i talked to my mom while drenched in my own tears. to all of you that have asked me if i was ok during the last week or two, im finally gonna tell you the truth. that i wasnt ok, and that im still not ok. obviously you knew this, but i shut myself off from you all.
about a year ago, i had lost a piece of my heart. i had been betrayed by my best friends. it was the worst time of my life. but i did what nobody else would. i forgave them. every single day. and there were days between then and now when i just couldnt. but i tried even though it was the toughest thing for me to do. even to this day, the pain is still there. i was hoping that my best friends would understand how much of a struggle it is for me to fight for them every day. i was hoping that they could see through the moping and the attitudes and see that i was trying to be a good person for them. to stick around even when i was the most uncomfortable. but i noticed that these best friends of mine are starting to lose sight of that. i dont want to abandon or shut out my friends from my life. i know its what i did and im sorry to all of you that this pertains to. i want to be your friend.. but if i really am your best friend, then all i ask is that you bear with me. im a hard person now, and im sorry that its such a strain on you. i havent quit on you guys just yet. so i beg you... dont quit on me.
about a year ago, i had lost a piece of my heart. i had been betrayed by my best friends. it was the worst time of my life. but i did what nobody else would. i forgave them. every single day. and there were days between then and now when i just couldnt. but i tried even though it was the toughest thing for me to do. even to this day, the pain is still there. i was hoping that my best friends would understand how much of a struggle it is for me to fight for them every day. i was hoping that they could see through the moping and the attitudes and see that i was trying to be a good person for them. to stick around even when i was the most uncomfortable. but i noticed that these best friends of mine are starting to lose sight of that. i dont want to abandon or shut out my friends from my life. i know its what i did and im sorry to all of you that this pertains to. i want to be your friend.. but if i really am your best friend, then all i ask is that you bear with me. im a hard person now, and im sorry that its such a strain on you. i havent quit on you guys just yet. so i beg you... dont quit on me.