"Let's walk home/let's be afraid"
Today does not seem quite real. I got up early but felt a little sick. Took a walk, went to campus and met with the new Humanities Advisor. It went really well. Dr. Carver looks like he's doing ok, and I saw some people from classics.
Then I called home to find out about my grandfather. He has cancer.
It is terminal. He's got six months to live.
It was weird to be one of two people on the bus and to try desperately not to cry. I do not cry often. It hit me so hard. He is never allowed to eat again.
And suddenly I felt very small and alone. Grandpa was always a stoic. He'll say he's "excellent and getting better" until the day he dies.
Tonight I was completely out of sorts. Chase and Jenn were supposed to come over, but plans got all sorts of screwed up. I attempted to cook a curry dish, with the result that I have second degree burns on my right hand. The curry was pretty good, I guess. It sucks that I can barely turn on my car (twisting hurts). Chase and I went to Lucy's, but I had trouble speaking. I'm not here at all. I'm just not with it.
You look like a perfect fit
For a girl in need of a tourniquet
But can you - save me
Come on and - save me
If you could - save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
'Cause I can tell
You know what it's like
The long farewell
Of the hunger strike
But can you save me
Come on and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
You struck me down like radium
Like Peter Pan or Superman
You will come to save me
C'mon and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
'Cept the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
But the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
C'mon and save me
Why don't you save me?
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
I hear foghorns in my sleep. They make the loneliest sound... but I know who could miss them...
And I just don't know how I'm going to get this thing off the ground. I want so much. I want too much. I can't let go. I'm down on myself and I have brownies in the oven, for God knows what reason. Tomorrow I HAVE to pack. And I have three hours of rehearsal. Friday I have an hour long rehearsal. Christine is coming. My parents are coming. I'm cooking dinner for all of us. And then I'm sewing the bustle that did not get made today because Lucy's company policy sucks and I can't pick up my costume til Friday morning. My body hurts. My head hurts. I'm whining like a little girl. I am burning up.
The end.
Then I called home to find out about my grandfather. He has cancer.
It is terminal. He's got six months to live.
It was weird to be one of two people on the bus and to try desperately not to cry. I do not cry often. It hit me so hard. He is never allowed to eat again.
And suddenly I felt very small and alone. Grandpa was always a stoic. He'll say he's "excellent and getting better" until the day he dies.
Tonight I was completely out of sorts. Chase and Jenn were supposed to come over, but plans got all sorts of screwed up. I attempted to cook a curry dish, with the result that I have second degree burns on my right hand. The curry was pretty good, I guess. It sucks that I can barely turn on my car (twisting hurts). Chase and I went to Lucy's, but I had trouble speaking. I'm not here at all. I'm just not with it.
You look like a perfect fit
For a girl in need of a tourniquet
But can you - save me
Come on and - save me
If you could - save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
'Cause I can tell
You know what it's like
The long farewell
Of the hunger strike
But can you save me
Come on and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
You struck me down like radium
Like Peter Pan or Superman
You will come to save me
C'mon and save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
'Cept the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
But the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
C'mon and save me
Why don't you save me?
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
I hear foghorns in my sleep. They make the loneliest sound... but I know who could miss them...
And I just don't know how I'm going to get this thing off the ground. I want so much. I want too much. I can't let go. I'm down on myself and I have brownies in the oven, for God knows what reason. Tomorrow I HAVE to pack. And I have three hours of rehearsal. Friday I have an hour long rehearsal. Christine is coming. My parents are coming. I'm cooking dinner for all of us. And then I'm sewing the bustle that did not get made today because Lucy's company policy sucks and I can't pick up my costume til Friday morning. My body hurts. My head hurts. I'm whining like a little girl. I am burning up.
The end.