(no subject)
People annoy the shit out of me, just ask Max or Katie, they hear me talk shit about almost every single person that I see; I really just want to move to a completely new place where I know no one, where no one knows me, where no one has judgements of me, where no one can claim to know anything about me, and start all over and make real friends and not be made fun of to my face, and not have people run me into the ground with all they say; where no one steals my stuff, where no one...well, no, let's not talk about that, where no one gets pissed and calls you a cheater just because you don't want everyone to know your personal business, where boys don't suck, because they really do suck here, where I look more grown up and not like a little boy, where clothes fit me, where I can feel less insecure, and not feel like shit every time I talk to my friends; where I can speak in class without seeming incoherent, and actually get my thoughts out, because they are fucking smart thoughts; where I don't get belittled because of my beliefs, where I don't lose any education because I have a bible-obsessed science teacher whose explanation for everything was "Because God wanted it that way,"; where I don't have stupid teachers who think they are Gods and think they are so clever and yell at you for no reason besides trying to embarass you in front of the class, or where your teacher calls you out in front of the class as someone who no one notices; where I don't have any commitments that I don't want to have; and most of all, where I can be who I want to be, and not what I am; when who I am is the person I should want to be - the person who feels guilty if they do anything wrong, or make a bad grade, who does almost everything their parents say, who is the most innocent person ever in relation to certain things, a person who is honest with their parents on most everything that is important, but can't be honest with them on the most important thing in their life right now, a person who needs to go to therapy because of all the years of abuse - mental and physical, they had to deal with as a child, a person who wishes to be independent and original, but every time they try, they get shot down by someone; a person who wants to experience all life has to offer, but is never given the opportunity...a person who wishes they were appreciated.