(no subject)
for the first time in my 17 years of living on this shitty ass land i gave someone else the honor to just kill me and get it over with. i wished for it to happen as i sleep. each blink i wished was the last one i blinked. each breath i wished was the last one i ever took. theres no such thing as 'i promise' there is no such thing as 'always' there is no such thing as 'forever' there is no such thing as 'i love u always and forever' i have proven the fact that no matter what a guy says, in anyway, shape or form that saying 'i love u always and forever' is meant. matt has been dragging around my little broken heart ever since i, yes i broke up with him. i knew it was a mistake, a very big one. but u can't take back things u did in the past. i wish i had a control of my heart to force it to move on. i actually thought the only way i could ever get over matt was to keep talking to him and hurting myself by hearing him talk about how he liked so-and-so. it only didnt hurt me, it killed me. he 'promised' me he would only go to prom with me. if i couldnt go, he wouldn't go. i told him i wasnt over him, but he was to 'tired' to talk about it, yet when a 'GIRL' signs on he has energy to stay on? hrmmm. he told me we could talk more about me not being over him tomorrow or sunday afternoon. i told him i wasnt going to be home tomorrow and i was going to be busy on sunday. he said 'im sure u dont wanna hear this but thats prom im going to on saturday' i felt like he was running with my heart and i was attached by one little tiny vein, which snapped me and my heart lose when he said that. i fell, and lost my heart. what am i suppose to do? im a heartless bruised up girl. that is why, my friends, i say there is no such thing as 'i love you always and forever'