Portraits of the Free Life (3/7)
Title: Portraits of the Free Life
Author: silentpoetry1
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Jared/Jensen (Jensen/OMCs, Jared/OMCs)
Summary: Jared is a cynical streetwhore who's been living in the underbelly of the city for two years while he saves up to go to college. He's a prominent figure on the streets where most people know not to mess with him. But when some new, naive guy who doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing starts hanging around on Jared's turf there's going to be trouble.
Disclaimer: Fiction. Everything within this story never happened and is entirely untrue.
Overall warnings: prostitution, violence, angst, abuse, offensive language.
Author's Notes: Thank you so much to tygers for the beta! Sorry this one took awhile, busy week!
Previous
by apieceofcake
Jensen left the room as quickly as he could and practically tore down the hallway. He was not into post-fucking cuddling with clients. Especially not one who’d made his whole body sore and his mind so heavy - it was filled to the brim with high dreams and sunken thoughts submerged in places that he rarely visited.
Jensen slowed down as he neared the entrance and exit. Morgan was standing in one of the doorways, leering at him. “See you again in a few days,” he said, pulling out and lighting a cigarette in such a familiar way that Jensen shivered. “By the way, if I see Jared poking around here, you’re done for... not that he’d care. It’s true. You’ve made me a fuckin’ mint in one day. I can see why he wanted you.”
He didn’t reply, ignoring the new ache, instead opting to exit while he still had his shit together. He ached, causing him to limp and clench his teeth behind his loose lips. The sun was still out, it was greying, but out. Jensen began to make his way to the park. He focused on his pain. It helped him to ignore the catcalls and the people that wound their windows down at him.
The whores were back, standing leaned up against buildings, like marble statues with bad makeup, fake-tanned skin and frizzy hair. Jensen kept walking, sparing no one a second glance because of their sad, self-pitying eyes that were only half-hooded at this time of day. It's all too easy for people to forget that they're the ones who feed the creatures within them.
Back at the park, Jensen crossed the grass, ignoring the people throwing bread for the diseased birds. He sneaked into the small, secret clearing carefully, nearly jumping in shock when he saw Jared lying back with a book that was falling apart. “It’s not six yet,” blurted out Jensen immediately in an annoyed voice. The words Morgan had spoken ran through his mind.
Jared turned the page carefully and skimmed it before he finally looked up at Jensen. His eyebrows furrowed as he did. “What the fuck happened to you?” he asked, sitting up quickly and setting his book down.
“Nothing,” said Jensen, turning away.
“Don’t bullshit me, Jensen. You look like hell.”
“I’m fine, alright? You’re back. Let’s go,” said Jensen. Jared just eyed him. “What? Are we gonna go do this or not? You backing out on me? C’mon. This is what you want me for.”
Jared shook his head and stood up, walking over to Jensen carefully and peering down at him. He ran his fingers down Jensen’s face before pulling his hand back, like he was the one the action had hurt. “Screw that. You can’t go out looking like this.”
“Why the fuck not? It’s not like these people have standards,” said Jensen, pulling away. Money is money, Jared should know that.
Jared just stepped closer. “You’re all roughed up. The people that are gonna want you aren’t the people you want to want you,” he said, exasperatedly.
“Then what the hell am I gonna do?” growled Jensen, kicking at the ground. His muscles clenched at the pain that ran through his body.
“Stay here.”
Jensen looked up at Jared. “I’m not staying here alone!”
Jared sighed, rubbing at his temples. “Far out. Why not?”
“I just,” I don’t want to be alone. Jensen rubbed at his sore chest and looked up at Jared.
Jared glared at him for a few moments before softening, withdrawing. “Fine.... I have somewhere you can go. Just. Okay - go down Bridgestone Road and follow it down until you see a little sign that reads Madison street, turn down there, then it’s the first street on the right, then the second on the left. Down that street there’ll be a few factory buildings, but then you’ll see a house. That’s where Tom stays. You can go there... say that I sent you. Get some sleep. Don’t feel obliged to talk to anyone. They aren’t... they’re hard to understand.”
Jensen took a few moments to memorise the details. “Okay, Jared. Thanks.”
Jared looked at Jensen for a few moments before he sighed irritably. “I wish you’d tell me what the fuck happened to you.”
No. Morgan would get them, and why the hell does Jared care, anyway? Oh, right. Wouldn’t want his merchandise ruined. “Don’t worry about it. It was a mistake that happened once. I can handle it.”
“Sure you can.”
“I’ll be back tonight.”
“No. Sleep there. I’ll come and get you.”
Jensen stared at Jared for a few moments before he nodded. “Okay.”
“Get going.”
Jensen turned and walked away quickly, ducking through the bushes. His sore muscles screeched in protest at having to move again. Jensen walked as quickly, carefully and concisely as an apology, following Jared’s directions. It was a slightly nicer, for lack of a better word, part of the underbelly than what Jensen was accustomed to. For one, there were no whores here for whatever reason. Might be the huge buildings bursting from the ground not far away.
This side of town was still falling apart at the seams, like some childhood teddy bear that’s been stitched up one too many times. It still had thick air and dark roads. It was still a skeleton. It was dry. It was the lack of water on Mars. And this was why the house that Tom stayed in didn’t look out of place.
The house was a wreck, like most things. Jensen was still innocent enough to be surprised. He could almost see the bones of the house - the foundations, the sinews of wood and concrete, the things that separated spoken from thought(lessness). Kids were sitting outside the house, glass bottles in their hands and stars in their eyes. And Jensen was sure that the palpable suburban angst he’d grown up with would be unable to burn past the dirt on their skin.
Jensen went in without an escape strategy.
Inside, the people that actually looked at him did it with disdain. It looked very much like a come-and-go thing. Tom appeared almost immediately. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“I, um,” Jensen saw Chad appear behind Tom. “Jared. He sent me here... to sleep.”
Tom considered him for a few moments, his eyes raking up and down Jensen. “Okay. Hey, Chad, you wanna take him upstairs?”
“Yeah,” said Chad, pushing past Tom and gripping Jensen’s arm. “How’s things working out with Jared?” asked Chad, dropping Jensen’s arm as they reached the stairs.
“Fine,” said Jensen, aching as he ascended the stairs.
“Okay. Good.”
Chad led Jensen down a narrow hallway. Faded, mouldy floral wallpaper decorated the walls. There were a lot of rooms branching off the hallway. Some doors were open, revealing half-naked teens sprawled on air mattresses.
Chad stopped outside the room at the end of the hall. It was small and claustrophobic inside, with spilt drinks on the floor and a slightly stained mattress. “You can sleep here... Jared’s old room,” said Chad.
“Thanks,” said Jensen, stepping inside. Jared’s old room?
“Is Jared coming to get you?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” nodded Chad, shutting the door.
There was only one source of light inside the room, coming from the small window above the mattress. As Jensen gazed down at the mess of sheets and flat, stained pillow, he felt drained. He collapsed onto it heavily, ignoring his body’s protests.
He lay still, letting the deep thrum of pain sink into his bones. It was totally out of this world.
Seconds, minutes, hours, weeks later, Jensen opened his eyes blearily, blinking at the dark and wondering what had woken him. He jumped when a face came into focus. “What the -” he stifled a yawn and rubbed at his watery eyes.
“Sorry,” whispered Jared.
“Wh-wh-what,” Jensen stifled another yawn, “sorry. What’re you doing?”
“I’m here to get you. Let’s get going.”
Jensen sighed and pressed his head deeper into the pillow. He shifted a little, grimacing at the sharp sparks of pain that shot through his body. “Can’t we just stay here?” he asked sleepily.
Jared sighed, rubbing at his eyes. “I don’t like these people.”
“Please?” sighed Jensen, his watery eyes falling shut again. He made an appreciative noise when he felt Jared climb onto the mattress, lying beside him.
“Still sore?” questioned Jared.
Jensen moved a little in response, gasping in pain. “Nrgh, yes.” He felt Jared stroke him on the hip a few times, but he didn’t move his hand - just left it there on Jensen’s hip lazily, the feeling burning through Jensen’s skin. “I don’t know,” whispered Jensen, “you’re mean, but I think you might just be lonely.”
“Shut the hell up and go to sleep.”
“Yeah. Goodnight to you, too.”
-
Jared ate the hamburger with gusto, ignoring the raised eyebrows he was receiving from Jensen. It was cold in the park, the frozen metal of the bench slowly sinking into their jeans. Jensen’s bruises were still kind of bright, but he was freaking insisting on coming with Jared. To pay him for looking after Jensen. It’d be a lie if Jared said he didn’t feel just a little guilty.
Jensen was sitting away from him today, which was kind of getting on Jared’s nerves, especially since the guy had spent the night pressed up against him again. Jared rolled his eyes and took another bite of his burger. He hoped that he wouldn’t have to go back to the house anytime soon. He rubbed at the skin under his eyes from lack of sleep, which was due to lying awkwardly with Jensen all up in his space, even breath puffing against his chest. He’d said nothing, just lay there looking way too thoughtful in a house where you weren’t supposed to think, just do.
“Penny for your thoughts,” said Jensen, leaning back against the bench and shoving his hands into his oversized grey hoodie.
“My thoughts are worth more than that.”
Jensen smiled. “We gonna get going?”
“I am. You’re not.”
Jensen rolled his eyes and stood. “C’mon.”
Jared looked up at him with narrowed eyes. If he wanted, he could totally take Jensen in a fight. Make him stay. “You’re an idiot,” said Jared, standing. Jensen inclined his head a little, but said nothing.
The cold was worse when they stood up and started walking. He’d regret having to take off his sweatshirt and leave it in the alley near his corner. Jared was sure that it was a Wednesday, so the drug gangs would be making their way through his territory with their cocaine and pretty pretty guns. He and Jensen better be out of there before they come through. Jared never wanted to take on anyone with a gun again. Humming to himself, Jared pulled out and lit one of his cigarettes.
The light above his street corner was flickering, bathing the surrounding area in light shadow light shadow. Perfect. Fucking perfect. Almost as goddamn perfect as the hookers marching down his street with their obscure faces and model walks. They were probably from the city centre.
“Who are they?” asked Jensen as they stopped at Jared’s street corner. The hookers eyed them with disdain.
“They’re just like everyone else around here,” said Jared, taking a long drag of his cigarette. But they weren’t exactly. What did it matter?
“Okay.”
“They’re just... from the city.”
“What are they doing here?”
“Trying to take turf and get some tricks, what else?” said Jared, glaring at one of the dressed-down boys, whose pace quickened admirably.
“Will they try to take yours?”
Jared couldn’t help but let out a bark of laughter. “They know that doesn’t get them anywhere.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve had this place for months and months and it’s ‘cause people know not to fuck with me.”
Jared saw Jensen pale a little. “What?”
“What d’you mean ‘what’? I just fucking told you what,” Jared snapped, flicking some ash onto the ground.
“I just. Why me?”
Jared fidgeted with his shirt subconsciously. “What the hell are you talking about now?”
“You could get people to pay you in exchange for you not taking their turf or whatever. Why did you choose me to... y’know?”
“Chad was pissing me off. You’re hot. You’d make a lot of money.” Jared wasn’t prepared for the look of total sadness that appeared on Jensen’s face. “And, y’know,” he added hastily, “I didn’t want you to get in trouble. You’re naive. I just - ugh. I like you, alright?” Jared flailed his arms a little, as if to prove his point.
Jensen’s smile was small, but there. “I’m not naive,” he said.
“Yeah, well, you kind of are.”
“I’m not. I didn’t tell you everything. I’m not naive enough to tell some random guy I met on the street everything.”
“What?” said Jared, feeling a little unnerved.
Jensen smirked. It looked out of place on his face. “Yeah. About my past. I lied to you. I’m not stupid and naive.”
“I didn’t say you were stupid. Why the hell would you lie about your past, anyway? What’s the point of that? I know your name and that you trust people way too much. That’s all I need to know.”
Jensen furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the ground. “Whatever.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” said Jared, stepping closer to Jensen and standing awkwardly. “Sorry. I told you that I liked you. I don’t like many people... hell, I don’t really like anyone. Y’know why? ‘Cause they’re all the same. You. I like that you’re trusting. I like that you’re easy to get to know. It’s stupid, but it’s refreshing. I’m just wondering, though, why on earth would you lie about your past?”
“People shouldn’t know too much,” shrugged Jensen, but he looked happier.
“Yeah, well, I’m not just ‘people’,” Jared was surprised to find himself annoyed. He’d enjoyed thinking that Jensen had (mis)trusted him enough to tell him things. “In any case, I should know.”
“How’s that gonna get me more johns?” said Jensen bitterly.
“Where the hell is all this coming from?”
Jensen sighed. “It’s just... something someone said to me.”
“I told you not to listen to people.”
“I heard you. It’s just hard not to.”
Jared kicked at the ground. “Do you wanna... uh, talk about it?”
“Now’s not the time,” shrugged Jensen. “We gonna do this?”
Jared glared at him for a few moments. “I am,” he tried. Jensen may not want to believe that he’s naive, but he sure is way too fucking trusting.
Jensen rolled his eyes and stepped away. “Will I meet you at the park?” he asked.
Jared almost shuddered at the thought of spending a cold night like this in the centre of the park. “No. Here.”
Jensen looked confused only for a moment before he nodded. “Okay,” he said, looking at Jared expectantly. Jared sighed. “Go down to the end of the street... look for someone named Don.”
“’Kay,” said Jensen before walking off down the street, his hips rocking side to side.
Something struck Jared as Jensen left - a weird thought, something he’d forgotten to say. Something he should’ve said. He and Jensen were friends now. It probably wouldn’t work like that in the conventional world, but they were. Friends. He looked up and could just see Jensen’s retreating figure in the dark. He was too far away to call out to. That was probably a good thing, too, because Jared felt goddamn lame just thinking this, let alone yelling it out impulsively to Jensen.
Sighing, Jared turned to the street and pulled out another cigarette.
-
Morgan’s building wasn’t hard to find. As soon as you’ve been there once its incongruousness is etched into your skull and you can find it again and again. It was like a little girl’s to a hopscotch game. Hop, hop, jump, hop, jump, jump and you’re out. They love every unfair, childish second of it.
Morgan grinned and Jensen when he entered and made a show of checking his watch. “Back already? I thought you had a few days left. Lucky me.”
“You lied to me,” said Jensen bravely, foolishly.
“Hmm, care to enlighten?”
“About Jared. You lied. He beat you.”
“Oh,” laughed Morgan. “He say that?”
No, not exactly. No. He didn’t. “Not exactly.”
“He has his turf because I haven’t had any interest in expanding. That’s the only reason, kid. You got that?”
Jensen gazed down at his feet. “Yes.”
“Good. While you’re here you might as well make yourself useful, huh?”
Jensen looked over at Morgan, his heart racing. “This time I want some of my money.”
Morgan raised an eyebrow. “You do, do you?” he grinned, revealing perfect white teeth. “Well, I guess I could spare you a few bucks, but I ought’a get you here more frequently.”
Jensen swallowed. “Um...”
“Upstairs. Now.”
-
Jensen was waiting for Jared outside the street corner when Jared returned. He was standing a little gingerly with a straight back, but he otherwise looked okay. Jared did notice Jensen’s breath of relief when he laid eyes on him, however. “Jared.”
“Hey,” said Jared in reply.
Jensen smiled softly. “Jesus, it’s cold,” he said. Jared could see the boy’s hands moving inside his hoodie pockets.
“Yeah,” nodded Jared, “c’mon.”
“Wait, don’t you want your money?”
Jared looked over at Jensen’s earnest, bruised face and swallowed. “What? Yeah. I, um - yeah.”
Jensen shuffled around in his pocket and pulled out a twenty, thrusting it to Jared. “Here.”
“The fuck?” asked Jared, gazing at the crumpled bill.
“I’m sorry. It’s all I got.”
Jared had no doubt Jensen was telling the truth. “Prove it.”
Jensen looked offended for only a second before he turned out his pockets, dirt and lint falling to the ground. “All I got.”
Jared sighed. “You were fucking short-changed... did you get the money before, not after?”
“Yeah.”
“Don did this, really?”
Jensen went slightly pink. “He, er, he didn’t show up. So I went with someone else.”
Jared glared at him angrily. “You go with who I tell you, alright? You got that?”
“Yeah, Jared,” sighed Jensen.
Jared nodded slowly. “Good... well, c’mon.”
“Where’re we going?” asked Jensen tiredly.
“Somewhere warm to sleep.”
“Okay, Jared.” Jared was acutely aware that Jensen was pressing up way too close, subconsciously or not, Jared wasn’t sure, but he was half-ready to snap at him, but only half.
The street they turned down was bright with blinking neon lights, bathing the wet ground in fake colours. The rainbow reflected off the few hookers’ faces, creating a ghost-like effect. Paper and wrappers littered the ground, crunching under Jensen and Jared’s feet every now and again.
Light rain fell as they walked and Jared felt Jensen’s minute tremors become more violent. “Here,” said Jared, gesturing towards a twenty-four hour convenience store.
Jensen looked past Jared sardonically. “I see. You got the munchies or something? I thought we were going somewhere to sleep.”
“We are. It’s a twenty-four hour convenience store,” said Jared, turning to face it, “there’s a big generator out the back, for their heater. It gets really warm.” When Jared glanced back at Jensen, his face was ashen and thoughtful. “What’s wrong?”
Jensen jerked from his thoughts. “Huh? Nothing. Just thinking.”
“Well, there’s no time to think in this city. You do what you can to stay alive.”
“Yeah,” said Jensen. “C’mon, then. Lead the way.”
Jared nodded and turned away, leading Jensen past the few beat-up cars, the dreary-looking people inside and around the back. It was dark out back with a few empty parking spaces. There was a silver generator attached to the back of the brick building, slightly under the overhanging roof. Jensen stepped ahead of Jared, reaching out and touching the generator tentatively. He pulled his hand back with a curse, shaking it.
“You good?”
“Yeah, fine, fine,” hissed Jensen, rubbing his hand against his hoodie. “It’s really hot. We’ll have to pile some clothes against it or something.”
Jared nodded, tossing his backpack onto the ground. “’Kay,” he said, digging around in it and pulling out a few large garments.
Jensen stayed beside him as he built up a thin layer of cardboard and clothes. “There,” sighed Jared when he was done, feeling exhausted. He sat down on the smooth cement, leaning up against the generator and the wall to get away from the rain. He fought the urge to smile when Jensen sat beside him quietly, leaning up against him.
They were silent for awhile, getting comfortable. Jared nearly jumped when Jensen slunk his hand into his sweatshirt pocket. And Jared has sex with random johns for a living, has to try and get off on the ‘intimacy’ practically every goddamn day. Only to find out that until now, he didn’t know what the hell intimacy was.
Here; with Jensen’s hand in his sweatshirt pocket, curled around each other beside a generator on a cold autumn night, that’s so fucking intimate.
Jared wanted to say something. “So, what did you lie to me about?” But it wasn’t that.
Jensen shifted a little beside him. “I left because my dad’s dead. I’m going west to try and find my brother.” Jensen’s thoughts returned, almost immediately, to that final fist, before his dad drank himself to death. He was on a train that night, to freedom. But then his money wore out and he got landed in this city.
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. He wasn’t the greatest, but I don’t think he deserved to die.”
Next
Author: silentpoetry1
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Jared/Jensen (Jensen/OMCs, Jared/OMCs)
Summary: Jared is a cynical streetwhore who's been living in the underbelly of the city for two years while he saves up to go to college. He's a prominent figure on the streets where most people know not to mess with him. But when some new, naive guy who doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing starts hanging around on Jared's turf there's going to be trouble.
Disclaimer: Fiction. Everything within this story never happened and is entirely untrue.
Overall warnings: prostitution, violence, angst, abuse, offensive language.
Author's Notes: Thank you so much to tygers for the beta! Sorry this one took awhile, busy week!
Previous
by apieceofcake
Jensen left the room as quickly as he could and practically tore down the hallway. He was not into post-fucking cuddling with clients. Especially not one who’d made his whole body sore and his mind so heavy - it was filled to the brim with high dreams and sunken thoughts submerged in places that he rarely visited.
Jensen slowed down as he neared the entrance and exit. Morgan was standing in one of the doorways, leering at him. “See you again in a few days,” he said, pulling out and lighting a cigarette in such a familiar way that Jensen shivered. “By the way, if I see Jared poking around here, you’re done for... not that he’d care. It’s true. You’ve made me a fuckin’ mint in one day. I can see why he wanted you.”
He didn’t reply, ignoring the new ache, instead opting to exit while he still had his shit together. He ached, causing him to limp and clench his teeth behind his loose lips. The sun was still out, it was greying, but out. Jensen began to make his way to the park. He focused on his pain. It helped him to ignore the catcalls and the people that wound their windows down at him.
The whores were back, standing leaned up against buildings, like marble statues with bad makeup, fake-tanned skin and frizzy hair. Jensen kept walking, sparing no one a second glance because of their sad, self-pitying eyes that were only half-hooded at this time of day. It's all too easy for people to forget that they're the ones who feed the creatures within them.
Back at the park, Jensen crossed the grass, ignoring the people throwing bread for the diseased birds. He sneaked into the small, secret clearing carefully, nearly jumping in shock when he saw Jared lying back with a book that was falling apart. “It’s not six yet,” blurted out Jensen immediately in an annoyed voice. The words Morgan had spoken ran through his mind.
Jared turned the page carefully and skimmed it before he finally looked up at Jensen. His eyebrows furrowed as he did. “What the fuck happened to you?” he asked, sitting up quickly and setting his book down.
“Nothing,” said Jensen, turning away.
“Don’t bullshit me, Jensen. You look like hell.”
“I’m fine, alright? You’re back. Let’s go,” said Jensen. Jared just eyed him. “What? Are we gonna go do this or not? You backing out on me? C’mon. This is what you want me for.”
Jared shook his head and stood up, walking over to Jensen carefully and peering down at him. He ran his fingers down Jensen’s face before pulling his hand back, like he was the one the action had hurt. “Screw that. You can’t go out looking like this.”
“Why the fuck not? It’s not like these people have standards,” said Jensen, pulling away. Money is money, Jared should know that.
Jared just stepped closer. “You’re all roughed up. The people that are gonna want you aren’t the people you want to want you,” he said, exasperatedly.
“Then what the hell am I gonna do?” growled Jensen, kicking at the ground. His muscles clenched at the pain that ran through his body.
“Stay here.”
Jensen looked up at Jared. “I’m not staying here alone!”
Jared sighed, rubbing at his temples. “Far out. Why not?”
“I just,” I don’t want to be alone. Jensen rubbed at his sore chest and looked up at Jared.
Jared glared at him for a few moments before softening, withdrawing. “Fine.... I have somewhere you can go. Just. Okay - go down Bridgestone Road and follow it down until you see a little sign that reads Madison street, turn down there, then it’s the first street on the right, then the second on the left. Down that street there’ll be a few factory buildings, but then you’ll see a house. That’s where Tom stays. You can go there... say that I sent you. Get some sleep. Don’t feel obliged to talk to anyone. They aren’t... they’re hard to understand.”
Jensen took a few moments to memorise the details. “Okay, Jared. Thanks.”
Jared looked at Jensen for a few moments before he sighed irritably. “I wish you’d tell me what the fuck happened to you.”
No. Morgan would get them, and why the hell does Jared care, anyway? Oh, right. Wouldn’t want his merchandise ruined. “Don’t worry about it. It was a mistake that happened once. I can handle it.”
“Sure you can.”
“I’ll be back tonight.”
“No. Sleep there. I’ll come and get you.”
Jensen stared at Jared for a few moments before he nodded. “Okay.”
“Get going.”
Jensen turned and walked away quickly, ducking through the bushes. His sore muscles screeched in protest at having to move again. Jensen walked as quickly, carefully and concisely as an apology, following Jared’s directions. It was a slightly nicer, for lack of a better word, part of the underbelly than what Jensen was accustomed to. For one, there were no whores here for whatever reason. Might be the huge buildings bursting from the ground not far away.
This side of town was still falling apart at the seams, like some childhood teddy bear that’s been stitched up one too many times. It still had thick air and dark roads. It was still a skeleton. It was dry. It was the lack of water on Mars. And this was why the house that Tom stayed in didn’t look out of place.
The house was a wreck, like most things. Jensen was still innocent enough to be surprised. He could almost see the bones of the house - the foundations, the sinews of wood and concrete, the things that separated spoken from thought(lessness). Kids were sitting outside the house, glass bottles in their hands and stars in their eyes. And Jensen was sure that the palpable suburban angst he’d grown up with would be unable to burn past the dirt on their skin.
Jensen went in without an escape strategy.
Inside, the people that actually looked at him did it with disdain. It looked very much like a come-and-go thing. Tom appeared almost immediately. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“I, um,” Jensen saw Chad appear behind Tom. “Jared. He sent me here... to sleep.”
Tom considered him for a few moments, his eyes raking up and down Jensen. “Okay. Hey, Chad, you wanna take him upstairs?”
“Yeah,” said Chad, pushing past Tom and gripping Jensen’s arm. “How’s things working out with Jared?” asked Chad, dropping Jensen’s arm as they reached the stairs.
“Fine,” said Jensen, aching as he ascended the stairs.
“Okay. Good.”
Chad led Jensen down a narrow hallway. Faded, mouldy floral wallpaper decorated the walls. There were a lot of rooms branching off the hallway. Some doors were open, revealing half-naked teens sprawled on air mattresses.
Chad stopped outside the room at the end of the hall. It was small and claustrophobic inside, with spilt drinks on the floor and a slightly stained mattress. “You can sleep here... Jared’s old room,” said Chad.
“Thanks,” said Jensen, stepping inside. Jared’s old room?
“Is Jared coming to get you?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” nodded Chad, shutting the door.
There was only one source of light inside the room, coming from the small window above the mattress. As Jensen gazed down at the mess of sheets and flat, stained pillow, he felt drained. He collapsed onto it heavily, ignoring his body’s protests.
He lay still, letting the deep thrum of pain sink into his bones. It was totally out of this world.
Seconds, minutes, hours, weeks later, Jensen opened his eyes blearily, blinking at the dark and wondering what had woken him. He jumped when a face came into focus. “What the -” he stifled a yawn and rubbed at his watery eyes.
“Sorry,” whispered Jared.
“Wh-wh-what,” Jensen stifled another yawn, “sorry. What’re you doing?”
“I’m here to get you. Let’s get going.”
Jensen sighed and pressed his head deeper into the pillow. He shifted a little, grimacing at the sharp sparks of pain that shot through his body. “Can’t we just stay here?” he asked sleepily.
Jared sighed, rubbing at his eyes. “I don’t like these people.”
“Please?” sighed Jensen, his watery eyes falling shut again. He made an appreciative noise when he felt Jared climb onto the mattress, lying beside him.
“Still sore?” questioned Jared.
Jensen moved a little in response, gasping in pain. “Nrgh, yes.” He felt Jared stroke him on the hip a few times, but he didn’t move his hand - just left it there on Jensen’s hip lazily, the feeling burning through Jensen’s skin. “I don’t know,” whispered Jensen, “you’re mean, but I think you might just be lonely.”
“Shut the hell up and go to sleep.”
“Yeah. Goodnight to you, too.”
-
Jared ate the hamburger with gusto, ignoring the raised eyebrows he was receiving from Jensen. It was cold in the park, the frozen metal of the bench slowly sinking into their jeans. Jensen’s bruises were still kind of bright, but he was freaking insisting on coming with Jared. To pay him for looking after Jensen. It’d be a lie if Jared said he didn’t feel just a little guilty.
Jensen was sitting away from him today, which was kind of getting on Jared’s nerves, especially since the guy had spent the night pressed up against him again. Jared rolled his eyes and took another bite of his burger. He hoped that he wouldn’t have to go back to the house anytime soon. He rubbed at the skin under his eyes from lack of sleep, which was due to lying awkwardly with Jensen all up in his space, even breath puffing against his chest. He’d said nothing, just lay there looking way too thoughtful in a house where you weren’t supposed to think, just do.
“Penny for your thoughts,” said Jensen, leaning back against the bench and shoving his hands into his oversized grey hoodie.
“My thoughts are worth more than that.”
Jensen smiled. “We gonna get going?”
“I am. You’re not.”
Jensen rolled his eyes and stood. “C’mon.”
Jared looked up at him with narrowed eyes. If he wanted, he could totally take Jensen in a fight. Make him stay. “You’re an idiot,” said Jared, standing. Jensen inclined his head a little, but said nothing.
The cold was worse when they stood up and started walking. He’d regret having to take off his sweatshirt and leave it in the alley near his corner. Jared was sure that it was a Wednesday, so the drug gangs would be making their way through his territory with their cocaine and pretty pretty guns. He and Jensen better be out of there before they come through. Jared never wanted to take on anyone with a gun again. Humming to himself, Jared pulled out and lit one of his cigarettes.
The light above his street corner was flickering, bathing the surrounding area in light shadow light shadow. Perfect. Fucking perfect. Almost as goddamn perfect as the hookers marching down his street with their obscure faces and model walks. They were probably from the city centre.
“Who are they?” asked Jensen as they stopped at Jared’s street corner. The hookers eyed them with disdain.
“They’re just like everyone else around here,” said Jared, taking a long drag of his cigarette. But they weren’t exactly. What did it matter?
“Okay.”
“They’re just... from the city.”
“What are they doing here?”
“Trying to take turf and get some tricks, what else?” said Jared, glaring at one of the dressed-down boys, whose pace quickened admirably.
“Will they try to take yours?”
Jared couldn’t help but let out a bark of laughter. “They know that doesn’t get them anywhere.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve had this place for months and months and it’s ‘cause people know not to fuck with me.”
Jared saw Jensen pale a little. “What?”
“What d’you mean ‘what’? I just fucking told you what,” Jared snapped, flicking some ash onto the ground.
“I just. Why me?”
Jared fidgeted with his shirt subconsciously. “What the hell are you talking about now?”
“You could get people to pay you in exchange for you not taking their turf or whatever. Why did you choose me to... y’know?”
“Chad was pissing me off. You’re hot. You’d make a lot of money.” Jared wasn’t prepared for the look of total sadness that appeared on Jensen’s face. “And, y’know,” he added hastily, “I didn’t want you to get in trouble. You’re naive. I just - ugh. I like you, alright?” Jared flailed his arms a little, as if to prove his point.
Jensen’s smile was small, but there. “I’m not naive,” he said.
“Yeah, well, you kind of are.”
“I’m not. I didn’t tell you everything. I’m not naive enough to tell some random guy I met on the street everything.”
“What?” said Jared, feeling a little unnerved.
Jensen smirked. It looked out of place on his face. “Yeah. About my past. I lied to you. I’m not stupid and naive.”
“I didn’t say you were stupid. Why the hell would you lie about your past, anyway? What’s the point of that? I know your name and that you trust people way too much. That’s all I need to know.”
Jensen furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the ground. “Whatever.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” said Jared, stepping closer to Jensen and standing awkwardly. “Sorry. I told you that I liked you. I don’t like many people... hell, I don’t really like anyone. Y’know why? ‘Cause they’re all the same. You. I like that you’re trusting. I like that you’re easy to get to know. It’s stupid, but it’s refreshing. I’m just wondering, though, why on earth would you lie about your past?”
“People shouldn’t know too much,” shrugged Jensen, but he looked happier.
“Yeah, well, I’m not just ‘people’,” Jared was surprised to find himself annoyed. He’d enjoyed thinking that Jensen had (mis)trusted him enough to tell him things. “In any case, I should know.”
“How’s that gonna get me more johns?” said Jensen bitterly.
“Where the hell is all this coming from?”
Jensen sighed. “It’s just... something someone said to me.”
“I told you not to listen to people.”
“I heard you. It’s just hard not to.”
Jared kicked at the ground. “Do you wanna... uh, talk about it?”
“Now’s not the time,” shrugged Jensen. “We gonna do this?”
Jared glared at him for a few moments. “I am,” he tried. Jensen may not want to believe that he’s naive, but he sure is way too fucking trusting.
Jensen rolled his eyes and stepped away. “Will I meet you at the park?” he asked.
Jared almost shuddered at the thought of spending a cold night like this in the centre of the park. “No. Here.”
Jensen looked confused only for a moment before he nodded. “Okay,” he said, looking at Jared expectantly. Jared sighed. “Go down to the end of the street... look for someone named Don.”
“’Kay,” said Jensen before walking off down the street, his hips rocking side to side.
Something struck Jared as Jensen left - a weird thought, something he’d forgotten to say. Something he should’ve said. He and Jensen were friends now. It probably wouldn’t work like that in the conventional world, but they were. Friends. He looked up and could just see Jensen’s retreating figure in the dark. He was too far away to call out to. That was probably a good thing, too, because Jared felt goddamn lame just thinking this, let alone yelling it out impulsively to Jensen.
Sighing, Jared turned to the street and pulled out another cigarette.
-
Morgan’s building wasn’t hard to find. As soon as you’ve been there once its incongruousness is etched into your skull and you can find it again and again. It was like a little girl’s to a hopscotch game. Hop, hop, jump, hop, jump, jump and you’re out. They love every unfair, childish second of it.
Morgan grinned and Jensen when he entered and made a show of checking his watch. “Back already? I thought you had a few days left. Lucky me.”
“You lied to me,” said Jensen bravely, foolishly.
“Hmm, care to enlighten?”
“About Jared. You lied. He beat you.”
“Oh,” laughed Morgan. “He say that?”
No, not exactly. No. He didn’t. “Not exactly.”
“He has his turf because I haven’t had any interest in expanding. That’s the only reason, kid. You got that?”
Jensen gazed down at his feet. “Yes.”
“Good. While you’re here you might as well make yourself useful, huh?”
Jensen looked over at Morgan, his heart racing. “This time I want some of my money.”
Morgan raised an eyebrow. “You do, do you?” he grinned, revealing perfect white teeth. “Well, I guess I could spare you a few bucks, but I ought’a get you here more frequently.”
Jensen swallowed. “Um...”
“Upstairs. Now.”
-
Jensen was waiting for Jared outside the street corner when Jared returned. He was standing a little gingerly with a straight back, but he otherwise looked okay. Jared did notice Jensen’s breath of relief when he laid eyes on him, however. “Jared.”
“Hey,” said Jared in reply.
Jensen smiled softly. “Jesus, it’s cold,” he said. Jared could see the boy’s hands moving inside his hoodie pockets.
“Yeah,” nodded Jared, “c’mon.”
“Wait, don’t you want your money?”
Jared looked over at Jensen’s earnest, bruised face and swallowed. “What? Yeah. I, um - yeah.”
Jensen shuffled around in his pocket and pulled out a twenty, thrusting it to Jared. “Here.”
“The fuck?” asked Jared, gazing at the crumpled bill.
“I’m sorry. It’s all I got.”
Jared had no doubt Jensen was telling the truth. “Prove it.”
Jensen looked offended for only a second before he turned out his pockets, dirt and lint falling to the ground. “All I got.”
Jared sighed. “You were fucking short-changed... did you get the money before, not after?”
“Yeah.”
“Don did this, really?”
Jensen went slightly pink. “He, er, he didn’t show up. So I went with someone else.”
Jared glared at him angrily. “You go with who I tell you, alright? You got that?”
“Yeah, Jared,” sighed Jensen.
Jared nodded slowly. “Good... well, c’mon.”
“Where’re we going?” asked Jensen tiredly.
“Somewhere warm to sleep.”
“Okay, Jared.” Jared was acutely aware that Jensen was pressing up way too close, subconsciously or not, Jared wasn’t sure, but he was half-ready to snap at him, but only half.
The street they turned down was bright with blinking neon lights, bathing the wet ground in fake colours. The rainbow reflected off the few hookers’ faces, creating a ghost-like effect. Paper and wrappers littered the ground, crunching under Jensen and Jared’s feet every now and again.
Light rain fell as they walked and Jared felt Jensen’s minute tremors become more violent. “Here,” said Jared, gesturing towards a twenty-four hour convenience store.
Jensen looked past Jared sardonically. “I see. You got the munchies or something? I thought we were going somewhere to sleep.”
“We are. It’s a twenty-four hour convenience store,” said Jared, turning to face it, “there’s a big generator out the back, for their heater. It gets really warm.” When Jared glanced back at Jensen, his face was ashen and thoughtful. “What’s wrong?”
Jensen jerked from his thoughts. “Huh? Nothing. Just thinking.”
“Well, there’s no time to think in this city. You do what you can to stay alive.”
“Yeah,” said Jensen. “C’mon, then. Lead the way.”
Jared nodded and turned away, leading Jensen past the few beat-up cars, the dreary-looking people inside and around the back. It was dark out back with a few empty parking spaces. There was a silver generator attached to the back of the brick building, slightly under the overhanging roof. Jensen stepped ahead of Jared, reaching out and touching the generator tentatively. He pulled his hand back with a curse, shaking it.
“You good?”
“Yeah, fine, fine,” hissed Jensen, rubbing his hand against his hoodie. “It’s really hot. We’ll have to pile some clothes against it or something.”
Jared nodded, tossing his backpack onto the ground. “’Kay,” he said, digging around in it and pulling out a few large garments.
Jensen stayed beside him as he built up a thin layer of cardboard and clothes. “There,” sighed Jared when he was done, feeling exhausted. He sat down on the smooth cement, leaning up against the generator and the wall to get away from the rain. He fought the urge to smile when Jensen sat beside him quietly, leaning up against him.
They were silent for awhile, getting comfortable. Jared nearly jumped when Jensen slunk his hand into his sweatshirt pocket. And Jared has sex with random johns for a living, has to try and get off on the ‘intimacy’ practically every goddamn day. Only to find out that until now, he didn’t know what the hell intimacy was.
Here; with Jensen’s hand in his sweatshirt pocket, curled around each other beside a generator on a cold autumn night, that’s so fucking intimate.
Jared wanted to say something. “So, what did you lie to me about?” But it wasn’t that.
Jensen shifted a little beside him. “I left because my dad’s dead. I’m going west to try and find my brother.” Jensen’s thoughts returned, almost immediately, to that final fist, before his dad drank himself to death. He was on a train that night, to freedom. But then his money wore out and he got landed in this city.
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. He wasn’t the greatest, but I don’t think he deserved to die.”
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