What to expect....
when you're expecting.
Three home pregnancy tests have told me I have a bun in the oven. My family stalks my Myspace, so no venting can be done there. Nobody but my sister knows, and shes sworn to keep her mouth shut until I say otherwise.
So....this is the deal. I will be 37 next month. I am single. I recently moved to MA to start my life over. And apparently, I'm pregnant.
The first time I did this I was 16 years old and had a bunch of help from my Mom and sisters. They arent even in the same state as me now. My ex, who is the father of this bun in my oven, is in PA. By the way, he's only 21 years old. We became friends again after not talking for almost a year after we broke up. Well, we were more than friends....obviously. Now he is out of the picture completely because he cant handle the dynamics of our relationship changing. I guess he cant have both me and a baby calling him Daddy. So, he's gone.
Since I just moved here and started a new job, my insurance doesnt kick in until Feb 10th. I've found a womans center that will do testing and ultrasounds for free. I think thats what I need. I need to see it. Know that its really there, and not going anywhere.
But even if it is there...can I take care of a child on my own? Me, the person with the HUGEST Daddy issues any girl has ever had, raising yet another child without a Daddy? On the other hand....being a Mommy was something I was good at, minus letting my fucked up relationships drive me to the point of insanity. My son Kevin is amazing. Smart, respectful, independent, socially, environmentally, and politically aware...hes a successful musician, also manages a Starbucks in Cambridge, and goes to school. I must have done something right, right?
The home pregnancy box states that menopause can cause false positives....I am 36....or am I just in denial?
I gotta get that fucking ultrasound.