Fic: Reunion
title: Reunion
pairing: Adam/Brad
rating: R
words: 890
warning: *deathfic*, angst
summary: A hospital room is not where Brad imagined this reunion taking place.
disclaimer: Very untrue. Don't google yourself. Don't pass this along to anyone involved.
a/n: DON'T KILL ME. I'm sorry. I love deathfic, though, it's so cathartic. I had to do it.
on ao3
It’s weird to see Adam looking so weak and pale in the harsh fluorescents of a hospital room. Brad sits gingerly on the chair beside the bed, waiting for Adam to notice him. Adam’s eyelashes flutter as he opens his eyes.
“Hey,” Brad says quietly.
“Brad,” Adam breathes. He sounds like he used to, right after sex, whispering Brad’s name into the darkness in an awed sort of tone. Brad’s heart leaps into his throat.
“You wanted to see me?” Brad prompts. “I mean, not that-I’m glad, I just… You haven’t wanted to see me in like, a year, Adam.”
Adam reaches for Brad’s hand; Brad gives it to him. “I needed to tell you this in person.”
“Tell me what?”
“I always loved you the most, baby. That’s why it hurt so much-That’s why I had to leave.”
Brad squeezes Adam’s hand and pushes down the instant rush of guilt that washes over him. “I know, Adam. I was a dick, I deserved-”
“You didn’t deserve it, and I didn’t deserve it either. I love you.”
Brad put his other hand on top of Adam’s. “Why are you telling me this now?”
Adam shakes his head, smiling sadly. “I don’t have the flu, Brad.”
Forcing himself to keep a straight face, Brad asks, “What do you have? Are you sick?”
“I’ve been sick for a long time,” Adam replies.
“But you just-”
“I’m dying, Brad.”
“No.”
Adam closes his eyes. “Don’t argue.”
Brad snaps his mouth shut and forces the tears back from his eyes, focusing instead on the irrelevant part of Adam’s sentence. “You knew you were sick? And you never told me?”
“Jesus, baby, do you want to fight, or will you let me talk to you?”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just… Adam, you can’t be-”
“Do not try and convince me of a fairy tale,” Adam says roughly. “There’s nothing you can do, so don’t even try and make me think you can fix this, because you can’t, Brad, you really can’t.”
Brad looks down at his lap and lets the tears fall. “Where is everyone? Who knows about this?”
“My parents. Neil. Lane.” He pauses. “You.”
“Why me? Why not… anyone else?”
“I love you,” Adam tells him, his voice clear and soft. “And I’m sorry for how I ended things before.”
“You already said-We already talked about-”
“Not enough. Brad, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like I did, and I know it ruined any chance of-”
Brad jerks Adam’s hand, stands up and leans over him. There are tears running down his cheeks but he doesn’t bother wiping them away. “You didn’t ruin anything,” he says firmly. “I love you, Adam, I never stopped loving you, even when I was being an idiot, and I swear I didn’t mean any of that shit I said, I was just-”
“I know, baby, stop, stop.” Adam shushes him gently, then pulls Brad closer, and closer still, until Brad has to climb up onto the hospital bed to follow Adam’s pull. “I just needed you to know that I was sorry, because… Fuck. You don’t even know how many times I wanted to beg you to take me back.”
“Take you back? Take you… Christ, Adam, if anyone needs to grovel, it’s me! I never treated you like I should have, and I ruined it. I was the one that ruined any chance of getting back together, Adam, it was me, and I’m sorry. I’ve regretted that since it happened.”
“Shh, it’s okay. C’mere.”
Adam pulls him down and Brad curls automatically against his side. There’s an IV running from Adam’s other hand and it brushes Brad’s arm when Adam reaches over to wipe Brad’s eyes.
“How long?” Brad whispers.
“Couple months, tops.”
“Adam…” Brad closes his eyes, licks his lips, and smiles up at Adam. “That’s good! That’s pretty good, right? I mean, you’ve got some time to talk to people and-”
“Could be as soon as next week.”
“But it won’t be next week,” Brad insists tearfully. “It won’t.”
“I just want you here,” Adam says. He hasn’t cried, but Brad can see how difficult it is for him to keep up that calm exterior. “I need you here, Brad. I need you.”
“You have me, you’ve always had me.”
Adam pulls Brad’s hand up to his mouth and kisses it, a hard press of lips against Brad’s knuckles, and then the tears start, and they fall against the back of Brad’s hand. “You’re the first boy I ever loved,” Adam tells him. “And I still love you, and I just need you with me, please.”
“I’m here, I’m stay, I promise.”
“I thought I’d never let anyone watch me die, but-I need this. I need to be selfish, Brad, please. I’m sorry.”
Brad gently kisses Adam’s face, his flushed, wet cheeks and his tense lips and his wrinkled forehead. “It’s okay,” he says, at once taking on the role of caretaker, since that’s what Adam needs from him. He can do that for Adam. He wipes his own cheeks quickly, and then his eyes are dry and he can concentrate. “I’m here, Adam, I’m staying with you, I’ll stay forever, I swear. I won’t leave you. Never again.”
fin.
pairing: Adam/Brad
rating: R
words: 890
warning: *deathfic*, angst
summary: A hospital room is not where Brad imagined this reunion taking place.
disclaimer: Very untrue. Don't google yourself. Don't pass this along to anyone involved.
a/n: DON'T KILL ME. I'm sorry. I love deathfic, though, it's so cathartic. I had to do it.
on ao3
It’s weird to see Adam looking so weak and pale in the harsh fluorescents of a hospital room. Brad sits gingerly on the chair beside the bed, waiting for Adam to notice him. Adam’s eyelashes flutter as he opens his eyes.
“Hey,” Brad says quietly.
“Brad,” Adam breathes. He sounds like he used to, right after sex, whispering Brad’s name into the darkness in an awed sort of tone. Brad’s heart leaps into his throat.
“You wanted to see me?” Brad prompts. “I mean, not that-I’m glad, I just… You haven’t wanted to see me in like, a year, Adam.”
Adam reaches for Brad’s hand; Brad gives it to him. “I needed to tell you this in person.”
“Tell me what?”
“I always loved you the most, baby. That’s why it hurt so much-That’s why I had to leave.”
Brad squeezes Adam’s hand and pushes down the instant rush of guilt that washes over him. “I know, Adam. I was a dick, I deserved-”
“You didn’t deserve it, and I didn’t deserve it either. I love you.”
Brad put his other hand on top of Adam’s. “Why are you telling me this now?”
Adam shakes his head, smiling sadly. “I don’t have the flu, Brad.”
Forcing himself to keep a straight face, Brad asks, “What do you have? Are you sick?”
“I’ve been sick for a long time,” Adam replies.
“But you just-”
“I’m dying, Brad.”
“No.”
Adam closes his eyes. “Don’t argue.”
Brad snaps his mouth shut and forces the tears back from his eyes, focusing instead on the irrelevant part of Adam’s sentence. “You knew you were sick? And you never told me?”
“Jesus, baby, do you want to fight, or will you let me talk to you?”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just… Adam, you can’t be-”
“Do not try and convince me of a fairy tale,” Adam says roughly. “There’s nothing you can do, so don’t even try and make me think you can fix this, because you can’t, Brad, you really can’t.”
Brad looks down at his lap and lets the tears fall. “Where is everyone? Who knows about this?”
“My parents. Neil. Lane.” He pauses. “You.”
“Why me? Why not… anyone else?”
“I love you,” Adam tells him, his voice clear and soft. “And I’m sorry for how I ended things before.”
“You already said-We already talked about-”
“Not enough. Brad, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like I did, and I know it ruined any chance of-”
Brad jerks Adam’s hand, stands up and leans over him. There are tears running down his cheeks but he doesn’t bother wiping them away. “You didn’t ruin anything,” he says firmly. “I love you, Adam, I never stopped loving you, even when I was being an idiot, and I swear I didn’t mean any of that shit I said, I was just-”
“I know, baby, stop, stop.” Adam shushes him gently, then pulls Brad closer, and closer still, until Brad has to climb up onto the hospital bed to follow Adam’s pull. “I just needed you to know that I was sorry, because… Fuck. You don’t even know how many times I wanted to beg you to take me back.”
“Take you back? Take you… Christ, Adam, if anyone needs to grovel, it’s me! I never treated you like I should have, and I ruined it. I was the one that ruined any chance of getting back together, Adam, it was me, and I’m sorry. I’ve regretted that since it happened.”
“Shh, it’s okay. C’mere.”
Adam pulls him down and Brad curls automatically against his side. There’s an IV running from Adam’s other hand and it brushes Brad’s arm when Adam reaches over to wipe Brad’s eyes.
“How long?” Brad whispers.
“Couple months, tops.”
“Adam…” Brad closes his eyes, licks his lips, and smiles up at Adam. “That’s good! That’s pretty good, right? I mean, you’ve got some time to talk to people and-”
“Could be as soon as next week.”
“But it won’t be next week,” Brad insists tearfully. “It won’t.”
“I just want you here,” Adam says. He hasn’t cried, but Brad can see how difficult it is for him to keep up that calm exterior. “I need you here, Brad. I need you.”
“You have me, you’ve always had me.”
Adam pulls Brad’s hand up to his mouth and kisses it, a hard press of lips against Brad’s knuckles, and then the tears start, and they fall against the back of Brad’s hand. “You’re the first boy I ever loved,” Adam tells him. “And I still love you, and I just need you with me, please.”
“I’m here, I’m stay, I promise.”
“I thought I’d never let anyone watch me die, but-I need this. I need to be selfish, Brad, please. I’m sorry.”
Brad gently kisses Adam’s face, his flushed, wet cheeks and his tense lips and his wrinkled forehead. “It’s okay,” he says, at once taking on the role of caretaker, since that’s what Adam needs from him. He can do that for Adam. He wipes his own cheeks quickly, and then his eyes are dry and he can concentrate. “I’m here, Adam, I’m staying with you, I’ll stay forever, I swear. I won’t leave you. Never again.”
fin.