Fic: RunAway - LX. Together
Series info, summary, warnings, and disclaimer
Previous chapters
Chapter Title: Together
Chapter Summary: The final push. In other words, the end.
A/N: This is the last official chapter. The epilogue will be posted on Thursday.
When Dom woke, it was to an empty bed. The sheets were still warm, though, which meant Billy hadn’t been up long. There was no sound from the bathroom and Dom’s breath caught in his throat. He was suddenly petrified that, against almost all reason, Billy had left him.
He hesitantly made his way out to the main room and found Billy sitting on the couch with Dom’s journal in his lap and a mug of fresh tea in his hand.
“Billy?”
“It’s not really morning yet, but I couldn’t sleep, so I made tea,” Billy said without turning his head.
“You didn’t really drink it earlier,” Dom said, nodding. He didn’t move from the doorway.
“I didn’t read it,” Billy said suddenly after a moment’s silence.
“What?”
“Your journal. I didn’t open it; I was just looking at the photos on the front,” he explained.
“Oh. Okay. I’m just gonna, um… Get some tea.”
As he poured himself the tea, Dom saw that his hands were shaking slightly. He didn’t really know why; he and Billy had already fought and kind of made up the previous night. Dom didn’t know if sex really counted as ‘making up,’ but the things Billy said during the sex certainly brightened Dom’s outlook. Then again, Billy was sitting out in his living room with his journal on his lap and he hadn’t even turned to look at Dom. It still didn’t quite explain Dom’s shaking hands, but Dom decided it was probably just the fact that Billy was here that was making him nervous. He picked up his mug and went to join Billy on the couch.
“Billy?” he said softly, breaking the silence. “May I sit?”
“Yes, of course,” Billy replied quickly, looking a bit surprised by the question. “It’s your sofa.”
Dom sat. They both fell silent, not looking at each other, and breathed in the steam from their respective mugs.
“Billy?” Dom tried again. “What are you thinking?”
Billy looked down at the book in his lap. At his own and Dom’s smiling faces on the cover. “I’m thinking…”
“Yes?”
“I’m wondering how I let it get this bad.”
“What do you mean?”
Billy sighed. “All the things that happened up to the point where you… y’know. All the things you did gave such a clear message of what was going on, but I never stepped in and fixed it. I should have.”
“Oh, Billy… Don’t try to play the ‘if only’ game. There’s so many things I regret about the past year that I can’t even begin to count them.”
Billy finally looked over at him. “I’m sorry about your eye,” he said quietly. Dom reached up to his face and felt the puffiness and throb of a bruise high on his cheekbone.
“It’s alright. You didn’t hit too terribly hard. Besides, I deserved it and more.”
“It’s a good thing it was closing night, eh?” Dom gave the comment the expected chuckle and Billy smiled. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve got bruises on my arms.” Billy pushed up the sleeves of his shirt-which Dom realized was one of his own t-shirts-to point out the reddened spots from where Dom had held him so tightly the night before.
“I think we’ll live.”
“Yeah. Probably.”
They lapsed into silence once more, only this time they were at least meeting each other’s eyes, which Dom saw as a pretty big improvement. Billy seemed content just to stare at him, but after a few minutes, Dom grew uncomfortable and self-conscious.
“What happens now?”
“Um…”
“Did you decide something?”
Billy cocked his head and stared. “Last night…”
Dom’s face fell. He exhaled loudly and looked down at the swirling, milky contents of his mug.
“I thought I told you last night. I mean, I thought you knew.”
“Billy, what are you saying?” Dom asked, not looking up.
“I’m not going to let you go again, Dom.”
Hearing Billy say those words again, in the almost-light of day, was impossibly more than Dom was expecting and it surprised a sob out of him. Billy raised an eyebrow.
“Were you actually… I mean, this morning, did you think that I…”
“I didn’t know. I wasn’t… sure. I didn’t know.” Dom carefully wiped at his eyes, avoiding the bruise, and took a deep breath to settle himself. “So what happens now?”
“I don’t know.” Billy sighed heavily and looked back down at the journal. Dom watched him for a moment, then set his mug on the table and scooted closer to Billy, resting his uninjured cheek on Billy’s shoulder. Billy stiffened for a second but almost immediately he relaxed and adjusted his position to better accommodate Dom.
“I wasn’t lying, Dom, I really didn’t read it,” Billy said suddenly, running his fingers along the spine of the journal.
“What?” Dom raised his head in surprise. “I know that, Bill.”
“I thought you were… How do you know?”
“If you’d read it-"
“What? If I’d read it, what?”
“If you’d read it, I don’t think you would’ve kissed me last night. Or relaxed just now when I put my head on your shoulder. If you’d read it, you probably would’ve hit me again.” Dom paused, waiting for Billy to ask, but the question never came. “I wrote that… I either needed to get the fuck out of here or actually go through with… y’know. But it’s different now, I promise you. I didn’t think you’d show up last night. Circumstances have changed.”
“You don’t want to go through with it anymore?”
“Not at the moment, no.”
“What about tomorrow, Dom? Are you gonna slash your wrists then?”
“Bill-"
“I might just have to hit you again, Dom. Has it really changed, now that I’m here?”
“Yes-"
“Because I’ll tell you, Dom, I don’t think I’m ready for you to die again. I had enough of that the first time, thanks very much.”
“Billy, I’m better now. Now that you’re here.”
“In one day, everything’s gotten better?”
“Well, no, but in one day, you’ve found me. And that’s good, right? Isn’t it?”
“Yeah. That’s good.”
“So, Billy. What happens now?”
“It’s up to me?” Dom nodded. “I can’t stay here, I have to go back to Glasgow. But I’m not letting you out of my sight again, so that means you’d come with me.”
“Okay.”
“You can’t just-Dom, you can’t just say ‘okay’ and hope that everything works out!”
Dom opened his mouth to reply but couldn’t find the words.
“This is complicated. You think it’s just a simple thing of going back and saying, ‘Oh, by the way, I found Dom while I was on holiday. Yeah, he’s alive after all,’” Billy said sarcastically, standing up abruptly and sending the journal to the floor.
“What do you want me to say, then, Billy? What do you want me to do? Just name it and I’ll do it. Anything.”
“God, Dominic, I don’t know! Everything is so fucking complicated now.”
“I, I could stay. Here. I could stay here, then. We don’t have to-"
“No. No, Dom, hell no.” Billy gestured around the dingy flat. “You’re not staying here. You want to know why you’re so damn depressed, Dom? Look around: this is why. This is a fucking hellhole, Dom, and I didn’t want to say anything yesterday because I know it’s all you can afford right now, but you can’t live here. A person like you can’t survive in this place and it’s only feeding all these problems.”
“What do you want me to do?” Dom interrupted, his eyes shining and his jaw tight.
“Come home with me.”
Dom’s eyes widened, as did Billy’s, giving Dom the impression that Billy had surprised himself as well. “Just like that?”
“Yeah. Yeah, just like that. Come home with me, Dom. I love you and I can’t lose you again and even though we’ve got problems up to here, I’m not gonna let you go again.”
“But… but you said it was complicated. You said it isn’t this simple.”
“Then we’ll figure it out. Just come with me, Dom, and we’ll figure everything out. We’ll get a therapist, a really fucking good one, and they’ll help us fix everything. I have to believe it’s possible to fix this.”
“You think we can fix this?”
“I do, Dom. I think we can start over, start from the beginning again, and make the right decisions this time. We can start over and do it right and make it work. That’s what all this was about for you, right? Starting over?” Billy stepped back to the couch and dropped to his knees in front of it to look up at Dom.
“I want to fix things between us, Dominic, because I love you more than I’ve loved anything else in the world, and I’m not gonna let you go, as long as I live, I’m not gonna let you go.”
Dom felt tears sliding down his cheeks, but he was smiling. He reached down for Billy’s hands and laced their fingers together. “Then I’m not going anywhere but with you. ‘cause I love you, Billy, and I obviously can’t live without you in my life, and… and most of all I just love you.”
Billy clambered onto the sofa with Dom and kissed him soundly. Both of them ignored the salty taste of tears and the aches of their respective hurts. When they ran out of breath, Billy pulled back and cocked his head to the side.
“Oh, um. I know I’m a bit late, but… Happy birthday.”
Dom laughed and threw his arms around Billy, burying his face in Billy’s neck and outright sobbing with joy. “Best birthday present ever, Bills,” his said, his voice muffled. “Best thing I could’ve dreamed of. Thank you, Billy, thank you so much. Thank you.”
Next: Epilogue
Previous chapters
Chapter Title: Together
Chapter Summary: The final push. In other words, the end.
A/N: This is the last official chapter. The epilogue will be posted on Thursday.
When Dom woke, it was to an empty bed. The sheets were still warm, though, which meant Billy hadn’t been up long. There was no sound from the bathroom and Dom’s breath caught in his throat. He was suddenly petrified that, against almost all reason, Billy had left him.
He hesitantly made his way out to the main room and found Billy sitting on the couch with Dom’s journal in his lap and a mug of fresh tea in his hand.
“Billy?”
“It’s not really morning yet, but I couldn’t sleep, so I made tea,” Billy said without turning his head.
“You didn’t really drink it earlier,” Dom said, nodding. He didn’t move from the doorway.
“I didn’t read it,” Billy said suddenly after a moment’s silence.
“What?”
“Your journal. I didn’t open it; I was just looking at the photos on the front,” he explained.
“Oh. Okay. I’m just gonna, um… Get some tea.”
As he poured himself the tea, Dom saw that his hands were shaking slightly. He didn’t really know why; he and Billy had already fought and kind of made up the previous night. Dom didn’t know if sex really counted as ‘making up,’ but the things Billy said during the sex certainly brightened Dom’s outlook. Then again, Billy was sitting out in his living room with his journal on his lap and he hadn’t even turned to look at Dom. It still didn’t quite explain Dom’s shaking hands, but Dom decided it was probably just the fact that Billy was here that was making him nervous. He picked up his mug and went to join Billy on the couch.
“Billy?” he said softly, breaking the silence. “May I sit?”
“Yes, of course,” Billy replied quickly, looking a bit surprised by the question. “It’s your sofa.”
Dom sat. They both fell silent, not looking at each other, and breathed in the steam from their respective mugs.
“Billy?” Dom tried again. “What are you thinking?”
Billy looked down at the book in his lap. At his own and Dom’s smiling faces on the cover. “I’m thinking…”
“Yes?”
“I’m wondering how I let it get this bad.”
“What do you mean?”
Billy sighed. “All the things that happened up to the point where you… y’know. All the things you did gave such a clear message of what was going on, but I never stepped in and fixed it. I should have.”
“Oh, Billy… Don’t try to play the ‘if only’ game. There’s so many things I regret about the past year that I can’t even begin to count them.”
Billy finally looked over at him. “I’m sorry about your eye,” he said quietly. Dom reached up to his face and felt the puffiness and throb of a bruise high on his cheekbone.
“It’s alright. You didn’t hit too terribly hard. Besides, I deserved it and more.”
“It’s a good thing it was closing night, eh?” Dom gave the comment the expected chuckle and Billy smiled. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve got bruises on my arms.” Billy pushed up the sleeves of his shirt-which Dom realized was one of his own t-shirts-to point out the reddened spots from where Dom had held him so tightly the night before.
“I think we’ll live.”
“Yeah. Probably.”
They lapsed into silence once more, only this time they were at least meeting each other’s eyes, which Dom saw as a pretty big improvement. Billy seemed content just to stare at him, but after a few minutes, Dom grew uncomfortable and self-conscious.
“What happens now?”
“Um…”
“Did you decide something?”
Billy cocked his head and stared. “Last night…”
Dom’s face fell. He exhaled loudly and looked down at the swirling, milky contents of his mug.
“I thought I told you last night. I mean, I thought you knew.”
“Billy, what are you saying?” Dom asked, not looking up.
“I’m not going to let you go again, Dom.”
Hearing Billy say those words again, in the almost-light of day, was impossibly more than Dom was expecting and it surprised a sob out of him. Billy raised an eyebrow.
“Were you actually… I mean, this morning, did you think that I…”
“I didn’t know. I wasn’t… sure. I didn’t know.” Dom carefully wiped at his eyes, avoiding the bruise, and took a deep breath to settle himself. “So what happens now?”
“I don’t know.” Billy sighed heavily and looked back down at the journal. Dom watched him for a moment, then set his mug on the table and scooted closer to Billy, resting his uninjured cheek on Billy’s shoulder. Billy stiffened for a second but almost immediately he relaxed and adjusted his position to better accommodate Dom.
“I wasn’t lying, Dom, I really didn’t read it,” Billy said suddenly, running his fingers along the spine of the journal.
“What?” Dom raised his head in surprise. “I know that, Bill.”
“I thought you were… How do you know?”
“If you’d read it-"
“What? If I’d read it, what?”
“If you’d read it, I don’t think you would’ve kissed me last night. Or relaxed just now when I put my head on your shoulder. If you’d read it, you probably would’ve hit me again.” Dom paused, waiting for Billy to ask, but the question never came. “I wrote that… I either needed to get the fuck out of here or actually go through with… y’know. But it’s different now, I promise you. I didn’t think you’d show up last night. Circumstances have changed.”
“You don’t want to go through with it anymore?”
“Not at the moment, no.”
“What about tomorrow, Dom? Are you gonna slash your wrists then?”
“Bill-"
“I might just have to hit you again, Dom. Has it really changed, now that I’m here?”
“Yes-"
“Because I’ll tell you, Dom, I don’t think I’m ready for you to die again. I had enough of that the first time, thanks very much.”
“Billy, I’m better now. Now that you’re here.”
“In one day, everything’s gotten better?”
“Well, no, but in one day, you’ve found me. And that’s good, right? Isn’t it?”
“Yeah. That’s good.”
“So, Billy. What happens now?”
“It’s up to me?” Dom nodded. “I can’t stay here, I have to go back to Glasgow. But I’m not letting you out of my sight again, so that means you’d come with me.”
“Okay.”
“You can’t just-Dom, you can’t just say ‘okay’ and hope that everything works out!”
Dom opened his mouth to reply but couldn’t find the words.
“This is complicated. You think it’s just a simple thing of going back and saying, ‘Oh, by the way, I found Dom while I was on holiday. Yeah, he’s alive after all,’” Billy said sarcastically, standing up abruptly and sending the journal to the floor.
“What do you want me to say, then, Billy? What do you want me to do? Just name it and I’ll do it. Anything.”
“God, Dominic, I don’t know! Everything is so fucking complicated now.”
“I, I could stay. Here. I could stay here, then. We don’t have to-"
“No. No, Dom, hell no.” Billy gestured around the dingy flat. “You’re not staying here. You want to know why you’re so damn depressed, Dom? Look around: this is why. This is a fucking hellhole, Dom, and I didn’t want to say anything yesterday because I know it’s all you can afford right now, but you can’t live here. A person like you can’t survive in this place and it’s only feeding all these problems.”
“What do you want me to do?” Dom interrupted, his eyes shining and his jaw tight.
“Come home with me.”
Dom’s eyes widened, as did Billy’s, giving Dom the impression that Billy had surprised himself as well. “Just like that?”
“Yeah. Yeah, just like that. Come home with me, Dom. I love you and I can’t lose you again and even though we’ve got problems up to here, I’m not gonna let you go again.”
“But… but you said it was complicated. You said it isn’t this simple.”
“Then we’ll figure it out. Just come with me, Dom, and we’ll figure everything out. We’ll get a therapist, a really fucking good one, and they’ll help us fix everything. I have to believe it’s possible to fix this.”
“You think we can fix this?”
“I do, Dom. I think we can start over, start from the beginning again, and make the right decisions this time. We can start over and do it right and make it work. That’s what all this was about for you, right? Starting over?” Billy stepped back to the couch and dropped to his knees in front of it to look up at Dom.
“I want to fix things between us, Dominic, because I love you more than I’ve loved anything else in the world, and I’m not gonna let you go, as long as I live, I’m not gonna let you go.”
Dom felt tears sliding down his cheeks, but he was smiling. He reached down for Billy’s hands and laced their fingers together. “Then I’m not going anywhere but with you. ‘cause I love you, Billy, and I obviously can’t live without you in my life, and… and most of all I just love you.”
Billy clambered onto the sofa with Dom and kissed him soundly. Both of them ignored the salty taste of tears and the aches of their respective hurts. When they ran out of breath, Billy pulled back and cocked his head to the side.
“Oh, um. I know I’m a bit late, but… Happy birthday.”
Dom laughed and threw his arms around Billy, burying his face in Billy’s neck and outright sobbing with joy. “Best birthday present ever, Bills,” his said, his voice muffled. “Best thing I could’ve dreamed of. Thank you, Billy, thank you so much. Thank you.”
Next: Epilogue