(no subject)
I took an online depression tests and "oddly" enough I scored very high on it which is by no means a good thing and even though this is just an online test I think it evaluated me pretty well here are my "serious" symptoms
Expectations Category: (High Score) You are often disappointed in yourself and others, and even in life in general. Things just don’t live up to your expectations. You are someone who can be very hard to please. You are often let down, dissatisfied, and often things are not as good as you expected. The vacation, the hotel room, the birthday present, nothing meets your expectations…including you! You are your own worst critic and the hardest person to get acceptance from. You are constantly beating yourself up for not being good enough.This type of thinking can actually create severe symptoms anxiety and depression. Learning to establish realistic expectations can do a great deal in helping you achieve peace of mind
Temper Category: (High Score) Your anger can get the best of you. You often feel irritable, frustrated and downright mad. Sometimes you don’t even know why. It is not totally your fault that you are angry. Anger is passed down through generations. It is a learned behavior. You have learned to be angry by watching others. You probably overreact to things and take things very personally. Anger can be a very effective tool for creating a false sense of power. It is an addictive behavior that you have gotten comfortable expressing. Possibly you are secretly concerned about your anger and you are, at times, embarrassed or ashamed about your temper. Feelings of anger can make a person feel bad about him or herself not to mention putting a person in a consistently bad mood. Feelings of anger can create anxiety, stress, and depression and create of sense of feeling “out of control”. To take control of your anxiety and depression you must gain control of your anger.
Worry Category: (High Score) You are a worrier. You obsess about things; over analyze things, and catastrophize about a situation. Obsessive worry is at the root of much of your anxiety and depression. It is a very common symptom of anxiety and depression, and one of the most debilitating emotional challenges a person can experience. It robs you of your happiness, makes it impossible to be in the present moment, and creates a litany of body symptoms. For you worry is a bad habit that has become more intense with practice. The more you do it, the better you get at it, and it becomes a negative addiction that destroys your peace of mind. Somehow you begin to think you are actually doing something about the problem if you allow yourself to worry about it. At times you make yourself sick with worry. Worry can create immense anxiety and depression and actually feeds these emotional disorders. When you learn how to control your obsessive worry, you will learn how to control your anxiety, stress, and depression
Attitude Category: (High Score) Negative attitude and negative thinking will surely affect the outcome of your daily life experience, if not your entire life. You are a negative person although you may not realize it. You tend to be skeptical, cynical, and to see the negative side of things. More than likely, you talk negatively and think negatively, and you worry and obsess about negative things. You are constantly waiting for the ball to drop, the bad thing to happen, the end result to be negative. You have a hard time believing that good things can happen and even if they do, they won’t last. This type of thinking makes it hard to feel good, or live a happy, productive life. It is also this type of thinking that actually creates anxiety and depression and keeps you “stuck” there. Negative thinking and the obsessive worrying that goes with it are what cause much of your anxiety and depression. It is absolutely imperative that you learn to change this way of thinking to take control of destructive anxiety and depression
Control Category: (High Score) You are someone who needs to feel in control of everything in your life to feel comfortable. You need to control your environment, your comings and goings, how long you will be there, whom you will be with. You need to feel in control of yourself and your life. You may need to drive the car or “fly” the plane to feel comfortable. You may worry about losing control of yourself or even your mind. You may worry about losing control in front of others. The whole issue of control is often a huge problem for people with anxiety and depression. And of course fear of losing control is the main focus for many and creates incredible worry and stress. To gain control one must understand the concept of control and how real control, the kind that lasts a lifetime, is manifested. It is by giving up the need to always control things that a true sense of control is achieved
General Anxiety Category: (High Score) You are an intense person who constantly feels on edge. You worry and anticipate about things in your life on an ongoing basis. You are often in a sensitized state. This means you are extremely sensitive to lights, sounds, and your surroundings. You probably have an anger problem and might even struggle with explosive outbursts. You feel like a car in high gear with the brakes on, you are all wound up with nowhere to go. Your mind races with a thousand reasons why you should worry. Physically you may experience intense inner nervousness, shallow breathing and sighing, upset stomach, headache, muscle tension, and even rapid heart beat. Probably you are someone who worries about your health. Do you have a disease; are you having a heart attack? You anticipate situations that you are concerned about for days, if not weeks in advance. These situations could include health tests or exams, travel plans, social or professional events or pressures. You have an extremely difficult time relaxing and might sometimes use alcohol or medications to help you calm down. You envy people who are relaxed and happy because both these traits seem to elude you.
OVERALL AFFECTEDNESS ASSESSMENT
On the overall affectedness scale you are probably anxious and or depressed much of the time. More than likely it is hard for you to enjoy life on any consistent level. You are always second-guessing yourself and the world around you. You are over thinking and obsessing and you hardly ever experience piece of mind. You’re often fearful, worrisome, and unhappy. You don’t like being this way but you don’t know what to do to change. Things are too much work and no one understands the way you feel. You go from worry to depression, to worry again, wearing yourself out with your thoughts and what if thinking. You probably hate yourself much of the time for being so miserable to be around and yet you can’t seem to find comfort when you’re alone. Nothing makes you feel safe or happy, and life is just one big struggle. Please, get help. You can be happy and confident again. You just need a clear plan of action and the right tools
and out of 11 total symptoms I scored high on 6 of them and this would actually explain alot of shit about me and though this may seem a bit cliche
I don't really think anyone is going to read this nor do I think they really give a fuck but by not commenting just know that you are further proving my point and to any fuckers out there who are going to have to come back at this with a smart ass comment with these kinds of problems do you really think I have time to give two shits or a fuck about you no so if you don't have anything constructive to say stay the fuck out of my buisness I'm just using this to convey a message to the few that do give a fuck if that is infact anyone
leave me all alone
there ain't nobody callin on my telephone
cause I ripped that bitch right up outta the wall
I apolagize to any yall that tried to call
I haven't been myself lately
I've been slowly loosin my mind
and tellin 'em it's gravy
I'm lookin hella shady
and I haven't showered in weeks
I haven't washed my balls
I haven't brushed my teeth
all I see is demons
everywhere that I look
was it the quija, black majik warlock book
I can't remember
so how can my memories leave me
I can't belive the spirits would try to deceive me
but they did
just like a little kid
I was eager to learn so willin to give
but all they did was hate me
and break me
used my body for a host
and my mirror for the gateway
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
something's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
something's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
please don't walk away
I want you to hear what I got to say
I never had anyone never there for me
I never had anyone ever care for me
if you would listen to me
instead of callin me names
I would explain why I'm shakin and I'm goin insane
my mind is on vacation
lack of conversation
my brain is like a radio
with static on every station
still I wanna know will I be normal again
you tell me it's bullshit
and that it's all pretend
but if it's false
then why don't the demons just disappear
and if it's untrue why am I seein em crystal clear
cause I do
my mirror's turnin blue
and soul after soul
keep walkin right through
they livin in my house
and livin inside my head
some sleep inside the closet
others sleep under the bed
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
somethin's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
something's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
all I wanted to be
was a member of a family
with unity
but the people thats alive
will stab you straight in the back
throw a stick in the spokes and flip you off of the track
if it wasn't for monoxide and violent J
that nigga shaggy 2 dope and blaze ya dead homie
I probably would have givin up and callin it quits
I probably wouldn't be standin here today
I probably woudn't be shit
I find myself lookin back in the glass
and reminiss times of present and past
I'm feelin strange
I wonder if they can save me
standin cold in front of the gateway
here I am I'm such a crazy man
I'm tryin to control my life the best that I can
but the demons around me are tryin to stray me away
I think god that I'm standin right here today
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
something's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
something's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
Expectations Category: (High Score) You are often disappointed in yourself and others, and even in life in general. Things just don’t live up to your expectations. You are someone who can be very hard to please. You are often let down, dissatisfied, and often things are not as good as you expected. The vacation, the hotel room, the birthday present, nothing meets your expectations…including you! You are your own worst critic and the hardest person to get acceptance from. You are constantly beating yourself up for not being good enough.This type of thinking can actually create severe symptoms anxiety and depression. Learning to establish realistic expectations can do a great deal in helping you achieve peace of mind
Temper Category: (High Score) Your anger can get the best of you. You often feel irritable, frustrated and downright mad. Sometimes you don’t even know why. It is not totally your fault that you are angry. Anger is passed down through generations. It is a learned behavior. You have learned to be angry by watching others. You probably overreact to things and take things very personally. Anger can be a very effective tool for creating a false sense of power. It is an addictive behavior that you have gotten comfortable expressing. Possibly you are secretly concerned about your anger and you are, at times, embarrassed or ashamed about your temper. Feelings of anger can make a person feel bad about him or herself not to mention putting a person in a consistently bad mood. Feelings of anger can create anxiety, stress, and depression and create of sense of feeling “out of control”. To take control of your anxiety and depression you must gain control of your anger.
Worry Category: (High Score) You are a worrier. You obsess about things; over analyze things, and catastrophize about a situation. Obsessive worry is at the root of much of your anxiety and depression. It is a very common symptom of anxiety and depression, and one of the most debilitating emotional challenges a person can experience. It robs you of your happiness, makes it impossible to be in the present moment, and creates a litany of body symptoms. For you worry is a bad habit that has become more intense with practice. The more you do it, the better you get at it, and it becomes a negative addiction that destroys your peace of mind. Somehow you begin to think you are actually doing something about the problem if you allow yourself to worry about it. At times you make yourself sick with worry. Worry can create immense anxiety and depression and actually feeds these emotional disorders. When you learn how to control your obsessive worry, you will learn how to control your anxiety, stress, and depression
Attitude Category: (High Score) Negative attitude and negative thinking will surely affect the outcome of your daily life experience, if not your entire life. You are a negative person although you may not realize it. You tend to be skeptical, cynical, and to see the negative side of things. More than likely, you talk negatively and think negatively, and you worry and obsess about negative things. You are constantly waiting for the ball to drop, the bad thing to happen, the end result to be negative. You have a hard time believing that good things can happen and even if they do, they won’t last. This type of thinking makes it hard to feel good, or live a happy, productive life. It is also this type of thinking that actually creates anxiety and depression and keeps you “stuck” there. Negative thinking and the obsessive worrying that goes with it are what cause much of your anxiety and depression. It is absolutely imperative that you learn to change this way of thinking to take control of destructive anxiety and depression
Control Category: (High Score) You are someone who needs to feel in control of everything in your life to feel comfortable. You need to control your environment, your comings and goings, how long you will be there, whom you will be with. You need to feel in control of yourself and your life. You may need to drive the car or “fly” the plane to feel comfortable. You may worry about losing control of yourself or even your mind. You may worry about losing control in front of others. The whole issue of control is often a huge problem for people with anxiety and depression. And of course fear of losing control is the main focus for many and creates incredible worry and stress. To gain control one must understand the concept of control and how real control, the kind that lasts a lifetime, is manifested. It is by giving up the need to always control things that a true sense of control is achieved
General Anxiety Category: (High Score) You are an intense person who constantly feels on edge. You worry and anticipate about things in your life on an ongoing basis. You are often in a sensitized state. This means you are extremely sensitive to lights, sounds, and your surroundings. You probably have an anger problem and might even struggle with explosive outbursts. You feel like a car in high gear with the brakes on, you are all wound up with nowhere to go. Your mind races with a thousand reasons why you should worry. Physically you may experience intense inner nervousness, shallow breathing and sighing, upset stomach, headache, muscle tension, and even rapid heart beat. Probably you are someone who worries about your health. Do you have a disease; are you having a heart attack? You anticipate situations that you are concerned about for days, if not weeks in advance. These situations could include health tests or exams, travel plans, social or professional events or pressures. You have an extremely difficult time relaxing and might sometimes use alcohol or medications to help you calm down. You envy people who are relaxed and happy because both these traits seem to elude you.
OVERALL AFFECTEDNESS ASSESSMENT
On the overall affectedness scale you are probably anxious and or depressed much of the time. More than likely it is hard for you to enjoy life on any consistent level. You are always second-guessing yourself and the world around you. You are over thinking and obsessing and you hardly ever experience piece of mind. You’re often fearful, worrisome, and unhappy. You don’t like being this way but you don’t know what to do to change. Things are too much work and no one understands the way you feel. You go from worry to depression, to worry again, wearing yourself out with your thoughts and what if thinking. You probably hate yourself much of the time for being so miserable to be around and yet you can’t seem to find comfort when you’re alone. Nothing makes you feel safe or happy, and life is just one big struggle. Please, get help. You can be happy and confident again. You just need a clear plan of action and the right tools
and out of 11 total symptoms I scored high on 6 of them and this would actually explain alot of shit about me and though this may seem a bit cliche
I don't really think anyone is going to read this nor do I think they really give a fuck but by not commenting just know that you are further proving my point and to any fuckers out there who are going to have to come back at this with a smart ass comment with these kinds of problems do you really think I have time to give two shits or a fuck about you no so if you don't have anything constructive to say stay the fuck out of my buisness I'm just using this to convey a message to the few that do give a fuck if that is infact anyone
leave me all alone
there ain't nobody callin on my telephone
cause I ripped that bitch right up outta the wall
I apolagize to any yall that tried to call
I haven't been myself lately
I've been slowly loosin my mind
and tellin 'em it's gravy
I'm lookin hella shady
and I haven't showered in weeks
I haven't washed my balls
I haven't brushed my teeth
all I see is demons
everywhere that I look
was it the quija, black majik warlock book
I can't remember
so how can my memories leave me
I can't belive the spirits would try to deceive me
but they did
just like a little kid
I was eager to learn so willin to give
but all they did was hate me
and break me
used my body for a host
and my mirror for the gateway
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
something's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
something's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
please don't walk away
I want you to hear what I got to say
I never had anyone never there for me
I never had anyone ever care for me
if you would listen to me
instead of callin me names
I would explain why I'm shakin and I'm goin insane
my mind is on vacation
lack of conversation
my brain is like a radio
with static on every station
still I wanna know will I be normal again
you tell me it's bullshit
and that it's all pretend
but if it's false
then why don't the demons just disappear
and if it's untrue why am I seein em crystal clear
cause I do
my mirror's turnin blue
and soul after soul
keep walkin right through
they livin in my house
and livin inside my head
some sleep inside the closet
others sleep under the bed
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
somethin's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
something's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
all I wanted to be
was a member of a family
with unity
but the people thats alive
will stab you straight in the back
throw a stick in the spokes and flip you off of the track
if it wasn't for monoxide and violent J
that nigga shaggy 2 dope and blaze ya dead homie
I probably would have givin up and callin it quits
I probably wouldn't be standin here today
I probably woudn't be shit
I find myself lookin back in the glass
and reminiss times of present and past
I'm feelin strange
I wonder if they can save me
standin cold in front of the gateway
here I am I'm such a crazy man
I'm tryin to control my life the best that I can
but the demons around me are tryin to stray me away
I think god that I'm standin right here today
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
something's wrong with me
will it last for eternity
something's wrong with me
I can't be who I need to be
something's wrong with me
will it last for eternity