Give Me Something To Sing About

[silentapologies]

I haven’t been eating very much lately. I eat what’s expected of me, such as a Pop-Tart for brekkie (because mi madre won’t let me leave the table without eating something because apparently I need food to think and brekkie is the most important meal of the day) and the dinner that’s given to me. So there’s no cause for alarm or anything, I’m not anorexic. I just….I don’t know, I used to snack all the time and so far I haven’t eaten an out-of-meal snack since summer. I haven’t touched my Hot Pockets which I used to eat like they were a drug. I don’t eat my lunch, except for maybe a bag of chips or something. And when I get that nauseating sick feeling, I just ignore it. I don’t feel like eating. I don’t feel like doing much of anything. I think it’s school. I’ve slipped back into that apathetic, robotic thing where I just do what I have to and whatever. I don’t feel the joy of things anymore. And lately it’s just gotten worse. I don’t feel like doing anything, period. Sure, I go to school, but I don’t pay attention. I haven’t done my homework in forever. I don’t spend hours figuring out what I’m going to wear or fixing my hair or doing my makeup like I usually do. I don’t do anything. I just exist. And it’s sickening. Where’s the Meg that everyone knows and loves, who’s full of joy and never lets anything get her down to the point of no return? She’s certainly not here. And I guess I miss her. But it doesn’t feel like she’s coming back.

“Life’s a show and we all play our parts
And when the music starts
We open up our hearts
It’s alright
If some things come out wrong
We’ll sing a happy song
And you can sing along

Where there’s life, there’s hope
Every day’s a gift
Wishes can come true
Whistle while you work
So hard all day
To be like other girls
To fit in in this glittering world
Don’t give me songs
Don’t give me songs

Give me something to sing about
I need something to sing about

Life’s a song
You don’t get to rehearse
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse
Still my friends
Don’t know why I ignore
The million things or more
I should be dancing for

All the joy life sends
Family and friends
All the twists and bends
Knowing that it ends
Well that depends
On if they let you go
On if they know enough to know
That when you’ve bowed
You leave the crowd….

….So give me something to sing about
Please give me something to sing about….” (Buffy the Musical)

I need something to sing about.

you know you love me, :heart:

~Meg :kiss: