(no subject)
alright
i am happy that there are plans for this week. lots to do. he's coming to see me. finally. i dont know if this was the best idea. he's making me wait. and i am impatient deep down. and then he will leave again. i dont like this. i have never waited in my life. i need spontaneity and he is not providing that.
so i wasnt going to. but she insists that i am in france and i am obliged to my fun. experimentation begins. top secret. i am ready for my fun.
sometimes i talk too much. i talk and talk and wonder why my mouth wont close. i tell them about home. about the good side of it of course. and they ask me about the pics on my walls and i spill. this was not me at home.
my mother is coming and i wonder how much confidence she will provide for me. how much comfort. i had to live off my own for 3 months.
and i still wake up with my hands numb. i place them under my pillow. i need something to hold. its strange. they're numb each morning.
i am out of phone credit.and i want to text people.
everyone is gone for the holidays. and i am invited to spend easter with L's family. nice of her to call me. we havent known each other long.
i laugh about our tea party. formal dresses and music. 3 girls wanting to feel childhood. ha. i laugh at our silliness. i wonder when i will stop liking these things.
i am happy that there are plans for this week. lots to do. he's coming to see me. finally. i dont know if this was the best idea. he's making me wait. and i am impatient deep down. and then he will leave again. i dont like this. i have never waited in my life. i need spontaneity and he is not providing that.
so i wasnt going to. but she insists that i am in france and i am obliged to my fun. experimentation begins. top secret. i am ready for my fun.
sometimes i talk too much. i talk and talk and wonder why my mouth wont close. i tell them about home. about the good side of it of course. and they ask me about the pics on my walls and i spill. this was not me at home.
my mother is coming and i wonder how much confidence she will provide for me. how much comfort. i had to live off my own for 3 months.
and i still wake up with my hands numb. i place them under my pillow. i need something to hold. its strange. they're numb each morning.
i am out of phone credit.and i want to text people.
everyone is gone for the holidays. and i am invited to spend easter with L's family. nice of her to call me. we havent known each other long.
i laugh about our tea party. formal dresses and music. 3 girls wanting to feel childhood. ha. i laugh at our silliness. i wonder when i will stop liking these things.