(no subject)
yes i am updating again. this means there must be something up. trouble is, i'm not sure what. i have reverted to a moody teenager and i hate it. it's almost like i am 2 people, one of whom is screaming at the other to stop being a bloody fool, the other is bobbing up and down in the waves, or rather torrent, of mood swings.
it is my birthday soon. i am not looking forward to this. birthdays at home (last year was a good year: i was in cambridge) have never lived up to their potential, and usually involve me feeling awkward and generally wishing the ground would swallow me up. considering that is my general feeling at the moment (taking the average of the up-and-down pattern of said mood swings) my 21st birthday does not hold any particular appeal. i've never really understood why, though it is your birthday, it is up to you to organise the celebrations. much along the same lines, why when you were at school, was it you who had to bring in sweets for everyone else to eat when it was supposed to be your special day? anyway, dinner party plans have been formed and now all is left is to find people to come and to buy the food. oh, and spend my birthday cooking it. i don't mind that though, for a change. now i can't actually eat the food (the dreaded d word) cooking seems to be a lot more fun.
and now, i am going to make the most of the fact that the house is empty and go and watch as many episodes of ER as I can.....
it is my birthday soon. i am not looking forward to this. birthdays at home (last year was a good year: i was in cambridge) have never lived up to their potential, and usually involve me feeling awkward and generally wishing the ground would swallow me up. considering that is my general feeling at the moment (taking the average of the up-and-down pattern of said mood swings) my 21st birthday does not hold any particular appeal. i've never really understood why, though it is your birthday, it is up to you to organise the celebrations. much along the same lines, why when you were at school, was it you who had to bring in sweets for everyone else to eat when it was supposed to be your special day? anyway, dinner party plans have been formed and now all is left is to find people to come and to buy the food. oh, and spend my birthday cooking it. i don't mind that though, for a change. now i can't actually eat the food (the dreaded d word) cooking seems to be a lot more fun.
and now, i am going to make the most of the fact that the house is empty and go and watch as many episodes of ER as I can.....