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Jun 15, 2004 14:44



At the time of his death, Kurt was straightening out his life and decided he wanted to leave the Rock and Roll life. He never really liked being in the lime light and Nirvana's unexpected and sudden fame had made him miserable, going against the grain of who he was. The other thing that was making him miserable was his marriage. He had wanted to divorce before but the birth of his daughter made him decide to hang in there, but it didn't improve the situation. He decided it was finally time to make some big changes in his life and be happy.

This really pissed off Courtney, and caused bitter arguments. She saw no reason, wanting to be a Famous Rock Star herself, for him to call it all off right when he was a Famous Rock Star and on top of the game. And besides, most said (most knew) the whole point of her marrying Kurt was because he had money and was who he was.

When Courtney realized he was going to really file for divorce she asked her lawyer, Rosemary Carroll, to find her the "meanest, most vicious divorce lawyer" she could. Because Kurt wasn't an idiot and Courtney was No One when they got married, she had been asked to sign a prenuptial agreement that wouldn't leave her with much of Kurt's money in the event of divorced. Courtney wanted someone who might be able to get her out of this agreement and change that. She inherited million$ upon his death and always will from his estate. Ms. Carroll was instrumental in starting an investigation into what really was going on. After his death she became suspicious and thought she might have the motive. She called Tom Grant and said she had information she wanted to share and had come to believe Courtney was behind Kurt's death.

At this time Kurt also called Rosemary to tell her he realized he had never finished making out his Will, and he wanted to do that and also wanted to take Courtney out of it.

Days before his death, Kurt had been in a rehab facility in Los Angeles but had left before the treatment period ended. A friend visiting Kurt in the facility said he looked the best he'd ever seen him look, was happy, upbeat and looking forward to the changes he had planned for himself. Kurt booked a flight home to Seattle, making no attempt to hide the fact he had left rehab or was now home, nor any attempt to stay out of sight. Fans recognized him at the airport and he talked to them and signed autographs.

At the time Kurt was in rehab, Courtney also enrolled in an outpatient rehab program "to support Kurt". The "out patient" program was really her just staying in a $500 a night suite at a L.A. Hotel with her baby daughter and her daughter's nanny. Her band's first CD was about to come out and she was mostly there to do some PR work for it.

Side note: it's said Kurt was behind the success of this CD, "Live Through This" writing most of the catchy lyrics and catchy hooks, really taking a mundane talent and making it a success. Hole's first CD released in 1991 but went nowhere and the two after "LTT" didn't do well, either. In fact the original cover for "LLT" was supposed to be a childhood photo of Kurt, but was quickly changed when he died to try to make it less obvious Ms. Love had been cashing in on the fact she was Mrs. Cobain. Some say you can even hear his guitar work on it.

After arriving home from the airport, after leaving the rehab facility, Kurt woke up their live-in nanny, Michael Dewitt, nicknamed "Cali", and talked with him awhile. Cali had been a good friend of Courtney's way before she met Kurt which is how he got the job.

Kurt also tried to call Courtney at the hotel in LA but couldn't get through. He left a message and the number of a friend's where he was hanging out. This is hardly the actions of a guy who is running around hiding from everyone, suicidal. Courtney later said she had instructed the hotel front desk to put a block on her phone and only allow calls from Kurt to come through. She pretended to be furious at the front desk's faux pas. The hotel says this never happened.

When Courtney came home from LA, it was known that Kurt had "escaped from" rehab and was supposedly nowhere to be found. However, someone was using Kurt's credit card. Courtney called a private investigator, Tom Grant, and asked if he could find the person using it. When Grant came to the house she said she lied and she really wanted to find where Kurt was, saying there had been no contact since he left the Rehab facility. In spite of this, she had canceled the card which made it impossible to trace.

The person who was using Kurt's credit card used it for 3 days before Courtney canceled it. This was the same 3 day period between what was later realized to be the day Kurt died and day his body was discovered. The credit card was always kept in his wallet and he himself had never reported it missing before this, suggesting he had it in his possession when he died.

If Courtney had no idea where he was or HOW he was, how did she know his credit card was being used, or being used "by someone else"? And if she thought he was fine and out there somewhere, why would she cancel his credit card on him?

Courtney also asked Tom Grant to watch a woman's house that she suspected was Kurt's girlfriend "in case he'd show up there" even though she knew Kurt was always hanging out at home. 'She seemed more worried about watching this woman, than Kurt', said Tom.

Kurt had turned down heading the Lollapalooza tour, which would have made him over $9 million. Courtney was royally pissed about this and the other money making things he was turning down, following his plan to retire from the whole business.

When Tom Grant went to the house the day after first being contacted by Courtney, there was a note to Kurt from Cali, the nanny, which was left in plain view on the stairs. The note said Cali "couldn't believe" Kurt had been in the house without him knowing and bitched him out for not telling Courtney he was OK. But Cali had already seen Kurt once already when he first got home and after all, it was Kurt's house. Why be stunned or angry that he had been there and didn't tell him? Kurt didn't have to answer to Cali. Tom believes it was planted there for him to find, to make it look like Kurt was still alive and well and just "playing games" avoiding and worrying people.

When Kurt left rehab and was supposedly a Missing Person, Courtney was arrested in her $500 a day LA hotel suite due to an anonymous 911 emergency phone call reporting that there had been a drug overdose in her room. Paramedics arrived and took her to the hospital, but she had not OD'd so was released 2 hours later into police custody. She was charged with possession of a syringe and drug paraphernalia. Tom Grant says this was Courtney's alibi for the whole mess because it got her out of the picture at the right time with a host of credible witnesses on the day, it was later estimated, Kurt died. .The 911 call, it was found out later, was placed from her LA hotel room.

Kurt's body was found by electricians that had been called to do work on the premises. They spotted his body through the glass doors of the greenhouse, which was located above the garage. He had been laying there for 3 days. How did his body lay around for three days in his own home, getting missed by a live-in nanny, his wife and others who were supposedly looking all over for him and didn't know if at any given hour he'd shown up and was around somewhere? Wouldn't it be common sense to look here at least every morning to see if he might have been there?

No fingerprints were found on the shot gun that Kurt supposedly used to shot himself in the head. There were 4 "latent prints" too faint and smudged to be of any use. Cops said this seemed to look as if someone wiped off the prints that had been there. Surely a man who just blew his head off can't pause to wipe a gun down. But it gets better - the gun wasn't even checked for fingerprints one month after the "Suicide". If the gun was handled carefully by police so as not to add prints to it, there'd at least be Kurt's prints on it. If they didn't handle it carefully, it'd be full of prints from all the people who'd touched it Why was it clean?

No fingerprints at all were found on the box of shells for the gun, which were next to Kurt's body. Three shells were loaded from the box of 25 - why would Kurt load 3 shells if he was planning to kill himself? Doesn't one do it?

No fingerprints at all were found on the pen Kurt supposedly used to write his "suicide note".

The 'suicide' note has been determined by two internationally known hand writing experts to be of two different handwritings. The "original" letter written by Kurt had nothing at all in it about suicide. It was a known fact that Kurt wanted to quit the Rock Business and he was fed up with his marriage to the abusive Courtney. His written portion of the letter reads as such; merely a reflection and thoughts about how fed up he was, how he felt he was letting his fans down but it was time to quit the whole thing.

The parts added to the note are the only sections that would make this note go into "a suicide note" mode. At the top of the note is written "Boddah" in this 2nd handwriting. At the bottom of the letter AFTER Kurt's signature are added four lines that put the 'suicide' ring to it all and an added "'goodbye".

It was also reported by police that a "second suicide note" was found stuck into a bowl of flower bulbs by the door of the greenhouse and this one was addressed to Courtney and a name that was blacked out by police. It was signed "Kurt Colbain". Police said this misspelling of his own name was of "no significance" nor was the oddity of another note which has never made public.

When asked by Tom Grant why he hadn't searched the greenhouse, Dylan Carlson, Kurt's best friend and the guy who was with Kurt when he bought the shotgun said it was "just a dirty little room - I think they kept wood in there". When questioned later by the press he told them he hadn't looked in the greenhouse because he didn't know the greenhouse existed. Surely a best friend who spent a lot of time there would know there was an entire garage and greenhouse on his friend's property?

One of the main suspects became Cali, the nanny. When Tom Grant asked where he was so he could talk to him, Courtney first said he was in rehab in Georgia maybe, she thought , or no wait! He's on vacation. Green requested that she call him and ask him to come to back to Seattle for questioning. Courtney told a friend who was there at the time to go call him and tell him to come back home. When Grant left, Courtney called Cali back herself and said not to come back. He never did, and was never questioned.

The police reports said there was a stool "wedged" under the door of the greenhouse, preventing anyone from entering. This is total BS...there was a small, 3-legged foot stool sitting towards the center of the door, way too short to reach the handle and light enough to have been easily scooted out of the way as the door was pushed open.

Kurt's body was found laying on his back, with the shotgun on his chest pointed to his head. His left hand was holding the barrel. Reports made it sound like he had blown his entire face/head off, and you'd expect that from a point-blank gunshot blast. On the floor was his wallet. Reports also stated that he had carefully taken out his driver's license and laid it out so identification could be made. This is total BS, too. One of the cops who arrived at the scene first took the license out of the wallet, propping it up to take a photo with it visible by the body. Kurt himself laid no ID laid out, and In fact little damage was done to Kurt's face - it was easily seen who he was and was not the damage of a point-blank shotgun blast.

Also found next to the body was a cigar box which contained a burnt spoon, a syringe and other heroin paraphernalia, all carefully and neatly put away. No prints were found on any of this gear.

Canadian Chemist Roger Lewis read the autopsy report and smelled a rat knowing that drug related 'suicides' are often a staged cover-up for a murder - it is unheard of that someone is going to set themselves up to commit suicidal by drug overdose and then still plan to blow their head off. He studied 98 similar deaths and their pathology, criminology and forensic data. The autopsy revealed that Kurt 's blood contained 2 to 3 times a "normal", fatal dose of heroin. It's true that addicts build up a tolerance to their drug, and a typical scenario for an overdose is when a (former) addict or one who has taken a break goes back to doing their drug and assumes they can ingest the same amount they left off at. They body is no longer used to such a high level. According to "Heroin Addiction: Theory, Research and Treatment" (1986) a lethal dose for a 150 pound male is about 70-80 mg of heroin (heroin immediately turns into morphine in the blood). Kurt weighed 115 pounds and had 75 times this lethal amount in his blood. Roger Lewis concluded: "There is no way he shot himself up with triple a fatal dose of heroin, rolled down his shirt sleeve, put his syringe and drug kit neatly away in a box, and pulled the trigger. You'd be dead before you even got the needle out of your arm." This is backed by all the medical study - you'd be instantly dead or instantly in a coma and on your way to quickly being so. Lewis' report is titled "Dead Men Don't Pull Triggers"

The New England Journal of Medicine (1973) study by J.C. Garriott "Morphine Concentrations and Survival Periods in Acute Heroin Fatalities" says that no one has ever been found "Naturally overdosed" with a blood level of over .93 ml per litre. Kurt's level was 50% higher than this.

Kurt OD'd in Rome in 1994. All reports, which were known most exclusively through Courtney, said that it had been accidental - they hadn't seen each other for a while and, although he had been taking prescription Xanax, they also stupidly had some champagne. Courtney said it was "Not a suicide attempt" and continued to tell this same story until his death. After he died, Courtney told the press this had actually been a suicide attempt. This PR move backfired when friends and family blasted her asking if this was true why hadn't she mentioned it before - so they could have protected and watched him, gotten him help? This statement from Courtney began the persistent "belief" that Kurt had tried to kill himself before or was "suicidal".

Kurt's friend Peter Cleary said that Kurt was never suicidal. "Nothing was ever said about that until AFTER he died. Then all of a sudden all you heard was that he was, and had been, kind of setting up this whole scene. And it all came from Courtney. He never was, never. Ever". Peter also is quoted as saying, "She would call him a dumb fuck all the time. He would just stand there and take her abuse...He was like a baby. One day he was talking to me and another friend and I guess she thought she was being ignored, so she started calling him a 'dickless jackoff" right in front of (daughter) Francis. This is pretty much how it always went towards the end"

Courtney conveniently produced for the police a never-before-seen-or-mentioned suicide note Kurt supposedly wrote at the time of this Rome "attempt". This note was not brought up at the time in Rome. A police officer said it was no such thing; it was a rambling and unflattering diatribe against her. He said there were some veiled references you'd really have to look hard at to see as "suicidal" and it'd only seem so in hindsight.

The coroner who pronounced Kurt's death a suicide and who had final say in the medical aspects of the investigation was an old friend of Courtney's and used to party with her. Rumors said, he still did.

Eldon Hoke, a porno-rock-redneck-self mutilating scumbag 'artiste' who went by the stage name of El Duce, said Courtney offered him $50,000 to kill Kurt, explaining to El Duce that he'd been "getting to be a real asshole". Eldon turned her down. The fact that Courtney even knew these people speaks volumes; they were so bad that area police used to warn young girls and runaways they befriended to stay the hell away from them and never ever go to the houses or parties - it wasn't rare for people to go missing. Or worse. Because of El Duce's nefarious life and character, no one believed him of course. He insisted a lie detector test be given to him and it was - by one of the nation's best polygraphers. He passed. Scumbag or not, he had the guts and decency to come forward with the information, and "worse" people have been taken seriously and allowed to testify in murder trials. A few days after coming forward with this information, Hoke was killed by a train in a freak accident

Tom Grant decided to make this all public and went on a Nationally syndicated radio show. Courtney called him afterwards and told him she'd "make it worth his while to drop the investigation'.

After the dust settled, Courtney awarded Cali the Nanny's father a very lucrative contract to remodel her WA home.

A few short weeks after Kurt's death, Courtney went on tour with her band. In fact .. surprize, surprize ...Courtney actively went after, and got, the headline act for the Lollapalooza tour that Kurt/Nirvana had been asked to do but which Kurt had declined. The press and most everyone else dubbed her "The Merry Widow" because she was partying and living it up in spades.

In spite of many reliable people and private investigations turning up much new information on this case, the Seattle police refuse to reopen it in spite of saying publicly that they would if new information was ever discovered or presented to them and they had 'any reason to'.

thought some people would be interested...i find kurt and nirvana VERYYY interesting so...
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