Kevalicious Definition make the crowd go loco.
I can't take this anymore, I just can't do anything anymore. I feel like a worthless piece of life. I have so many dreams and things I want to accomplish but who knows if I'll ever be able to achieve them.
Nowadays, I can't tell if i'm just being extremely lazy or it's my ADD. I'm trying to see if my neurologist can get me out of a few classes well mainly... just Intro to STATS. What was I POSSIBLY thinking when i signed up for that class? Fucking guidance counselors I swear they will convince you into ANYTHING. Hopefully I can sneak my way out of STATS and Anat and Phys semester 2.
I don't know how I expect to achieve my goals to get into NYU. My greatest fear is of failure. I have a feeling I'm going to regret so many things in my life. I regret one real big thing, and it's probably effected my life so much til this day I still cry about it. I mean it wasn't really crazy life changing more of a loss of a best friend and a good friend not in a death sense but you know what i mean. I still think about Greg a lot. Much more before but recently I started to again. I mean what the fuck is wrong with me? He called me a cunt and scratched up my family guy dvds and still I miss him so much. I love Derek but I miss Greg so much ( not in the sense I want to be with him) but in the sense that he was my best friend and i had the most amazing times with him and now I can never get them back. He hates me, and I hate him too. I wonder if he ever thinks about me as much as I think about him everyday. If things didn't turn out the way they did things would be perfect --- danielle and greg......derek and colby.
I can't ever regain that and in a sense I think I made Derek result in the loss of all of his friends because of my stupid mistakes.
I got really off topic but I'm so fucking paranoid... I think I need to stop having sex. It's so good in the moment but after I cry and I cry and I cry. I have this obsession that everytime I have sex I'm pregnant... and one of these days I'm really afraid I am going to be. I don't have the money on my own to pay for $30 bucks a month to get the patch instead of the pill because I can't swallow a pill even that small... so then I'd have to tell my Mom I mean she told me to come to her with that stuff... but then that's where she'd realize derek and i were dating.. when she hasn't even met him... I mean what if she doesn't like him and tells me I can't see him anymore... that's what i'm really afraid of with him meeting her.. I want him to look perfect and act the way I want him to do but I know he'll just be the I don't talk in front of anyone but colby Derek... gaaaaaaah. I don't even know.
I have too much shit to do right now.
My brain is about to explode.
Nowadays, I can't tell if i'm just being extremely lazy or it's my ADD. I'm trying to see if my neurologist can get me out of a few classes well mainly... just Intro to STATS. What was I POSSIBLY thinking when i signed up for that class? Fucking guidance counselors I swear they will convince you into ANYTHING. Hopefully I can sneak my way out of STATS and Anat and Phys semester 2.
I don't know how I expect to achieve my goals to get into NYU. My greatest fear is of failure. I have a feeling I'm going to regret so many things in my life. I regret one real big thing, and it's probably effected my life so much til this day I still cry about it. I mean it wasn't really crazy life changing more of a loss of a best friend and a good friend not in a death sense but you know what i mean. I still think about Greg a lot. Much more before but recently I started to again. I mean what the fuck is wrong with me? He called me a cunt and scratched up my family guy dvds and still I miss him so much. I love Derek but I miss Greg so much ( not in the sense I want to be with him) but in the sense that he was my best friend and i had the most amazing times with him and now I can never get them back. He hates me, and I hate him too. I wonder if he ever thinks about me as much as I think about him everyday. If things didn't turn out the way they did things would be perfect --- danielle and greg......derek and colby.
I can't ever regain that and in a sense I think I made Derek result in the loss of all of his friends because of my stupid mistakes.
I got really off topic but I'm so fucking paranoid... I think I need to stop having sex. It's so good in the moment but after I cry and I cry and I cry. I have this obsession that everytime I have sex I'm pregnant... and one of these days I'm really afraid I am going to be. I don't have the money on my own to pay for $30 bucks a month to get the patch instead of the pill because I can't swallow a pill even that small... so then I'd have to tell my Mom I mean she told me to come to her with that stuff... but then that's where she'd realize derek and i were dating.. when she hasn't even met him... I mean what if she doesn't like him and tells me I can't see him anymore... that's what i'm really afraid of with him meeting her.. I want him to look perfect and act the way I want him to do but I know he'll just be the I don't talk in front of anyone but colby Derek... gaaaaaaah. I don't even know.
I have too much shit to do right now.
My brain is about to explode.