Blegh.
So... fucking cold... at this minute. I should be over there, in bed, but im not... Blame late night inspiration. (Or at least the want for such a thing)
Its 5AM and I have to open up the store today, which makes me glad. Because, I can stand around, smiling at people, asking them how they are, and selling them useless junk that will in no way enhance their life, and if it does, it will be a superficial help... An imagined help akin to the thought that we are actually expanding our minds by turning on the TV.
And after this day that will likely drag on forever, I get to rest, and await my 6 days away… Far from thought, boredom, expectation, worry, doubt, want, need, desire, care... Just, away. Somewhere where I cant be reached, and maybe for a few short hours of sweet ignorance, somewhere without emotion. Somewhere without a mind that cant stop circling, beating itself over with fears, swimming in its own future expectations... and feeling like its never enough, feeling that it doesn’t deserve existence, let alone the attention of others.
Sometimes I wish I was an alcoholic.
Its 5AM and I have to open up the store today, which makes me glad. Because, I can stand around, smiling at people, asking them how they are, and selling them useless junk that will in no way enhance their life, and if it does, it will be a superficial help... An imagined help akin to the thought that we are actually expanding our minds by turning on the TV.
And after this day that will likely drag on forever, I get to rest, and await my 6 days away… Far from thought, boredom, expectation, worry, doubt, want, need, desire, care... Just, away. Somewhere where I cant be reached, and maybe for a few short hours of sweet ignorance, somewhere without emotion. Somewhere without a mind that cant stop circling, beating itself over with fears, swimming in its own future expectations... and feeling like its never enough, feeling that it doesn’t deserve existence, let alone the attention of others.
Sometimes I wish I was an alcoholic.