(no subject)
So Joe and I aren't together anymore.
I haven't been really happy with myself lately, and he's really been trying really hard to help me with it, to the point where he gave up and didn't know how to talk to me about losing the connection.
I wish I had a time machine to go back to the summer before I went to Starbucks. it was a great summer, I was really happy doing what I was doing, and there was a marketing internship up in the air. I turned it down for whatever reasons. But now i realize that it made me miserable, and start to hate myself.
I always looked forward to seeing joe at the end of the day, but now i know he didn't look forward to seeing me because I would be in a bad mood from work. I've always loved him, and still do, but for now, i'm learning to love myself. I know i would still like to persue a relationship again with him, but I'm giving him space too, and I'm just going to just be the happy person I know i was and still am. I've recently released some demons that were bothering me since childhood, and I've found a job that would be best for me. I'M NEVER GOING BACK TO FOOD SERVICE! and all i can do is go up from here. It will take a while to get over him, and seeing him with other girls may hurt my heart, but there's always another day, and I'm cute, and sweet, and funny, and caring so eventually I'll find someone. (but i really hope it's him).
I've always admired him for his self assurance, how he walks around and doesn't really care what others think of him. He knows the way he wants people to see him, and he knows what he likes. He says what he means, and does what he says, he's trustworthy, caring, and motivated. He's always sympathetic, and sensitive, and hates seeing people he loves in pain and it kills him if he can't help them, though he never says it out loud. I think the only he could ever work on is his communication. but i love him....
other than that, I'm really excited for this summer, I already feel like a new person, and I know I'm going to have a blast doing junior marketing. The team is going to be great. Classes are going to be fun, and life is going to go on.