Cogito Ergo Sum
Cognitive dissonance strikes us all it seems. Currently torn between hoping Oblivion comes along soon to relieve me of the agony of existence and a determination to achieve immortality and be on one of those first extrasolar colony vessels.
Granted I'm probably angsty and whining like a teenager because this year has been particularly shit for me. What with the broken ankle, my savings disappearing to pay for food and utilities while unable to work, my beloved grandmother succumbing to the swift yet agonizingly slow withering death of pancreatic cancer, watching my mother and uncle struggle to console my grandfather while wracked by their own heartwrenching loss, Grandpa's wails over the remains of his wife of sixty years, false hope, lost jobs, shattered dreams, and a decreasing ability to enjoy once beloved hobbies.
Lupercus is having a rough time too. My convalescence sapped his savings and maxed out a credit card. We had another roommate stay for a bit and then leave. Our social lives have been swallowed by work. We can't even host our biweekly D&D sessions anymore because he works nights, I work weekends, and one of our core members is unavailable on the Shabbat.
Work and sleep work and sleep.
(No I'm not suicidal. While the Void does sometimes seem an attractive prospect I am far too terrified of the concept of Nothingness. My perception is all that I am. To lose that is to not exist. No different from never having existed.)
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The good news is that i actually have a job. I work the meat department at the local Sam's Club. While part of the walmart family it thankfully has kept more of Walton's culture after his passing. I actually have hope for advancement here if I keep working my butt off.
There is a simple satisfaction to be found in doing a good job. Even if it's not the one you want to be doing. You can look at the fruits of your labor and say to yourself "I did this better than the guys who have been here for years. They better look out."
The discounted stock is nice.The satisfaction of helping small business owners is great too. Just wish I made more than $8.25 an hour and could get a full time schedule in the era of Obamacare.
Granted I'm probably angsty and whining like a teenager because this year has been particularly shit for me. What with the broken ankle, my savings disappearing to pay for food and utilities while unable to work, my beloved grandmother succumbing to the swift yet agonizingly slow withering death of pancreatic cancer, watching my mother and uncle struggle to console my grandfather while wracked by their own heartwrenching loss, Grandpa's wails over the remains of his wife of sixty years, false hope, lost jobs, shattered dreams, and a decreasing ability to enjoy once beloved hobbies.
Lupercus is having a rough time too. My convalescence sapped his savings and maxed out a credit card. We had another roommate stay for a bit and then leave. Our social lives have been swallowed by work. We can't even host our biweekly D&D sessions anymore because he works nights, I work weekends, and one of our core members is unavailable on the Shabbat.
Work and sleep work and sleep.
(No I'm not suicidal. While the Void does sometimes seem an attractive prospect I am far too terrified of the concept of Nothingness. My perception is all that I am. To lose that is to not exist. No different from never having existed.)
-
The good news is that i actually have a job. I work the meat department at the local Sam's Club. While part of the walmart family it thankfully has kept more of Walton's culture after his passing. I actually have hope for advancement here if I keep working my butt off.
There is a simple satisfaction to be found in doing a good job. Even if it's not the one you want to be doing. You can look at the fruits of your labor and say to yourself "I did this better than the guys who have been here for years. They better look out."
The discounted stock is nice.The satisfaction of helping small business owners is great too. Just wish I made more than $8.25 an hour and could get a full time schedule in the era of Obamacare.