Boundaries
I was thinking of giving up and calling it quits but things have gotten better and I want to give it one really shot where I actually stand my ground and see if being assertive will make a difference.
If it doesn’t, then I know it’s definitely time to move on.
Ground rules for myself:
1. BOUNDARIES! Stick to them. Do not give in. Walk away if needed.
2. Remember it’s not my job to make others happy. If they’re unhappy, that’s on them. As long as I fulfill my part of the bargain, how they react isn’t on me.
3. No more over apologizing. I fuck up, I will make amends and then IT’S OVER. Do not let them drag me through it again. Use boundaries. Walk away if necessary.
4. Make them do some of the work. Not everything is my responsibility. They’re adults - they have a role to play in the relationship as well. Not just me.
5. No more taking everything on my shoulders. I’m tired of doing all the work and getting all the blame. That stops NOW.
6. They’re upset, well tough shit. They’re adults, they can learn how to un-upset themselves. No more beating myself up or losing my shit that other people are upset with them. If I make amends, then my guilt stops and I stop feeling bad because they feel bad.
7. Don’t let people talk to me disrespectfully. Speak up and walk away if necessary.
8. If I’m not up to it, I can say no or stop. No apologies. Not feeling it is reason enough.
9. Be 75% less apologetic.
10. STICK TO IT!!!
If it doesn’t, then I know it’s definitely time to move on.
Ground rules for myself:
1. BOUNDARIES! Stick to them. Do not give in. Walk away if needed.
2. Remember it’s not my job to make others happy. If they’re unhappy, that’s on them. As long as I fulfill my part of the bargain, how they react isn’t on me.
3. No more over apologizing. I fuck up, I will make amends and then IT’S OVER. Do not let them drag me through it again. Use boundaries. Walk away if necessary.
4. Make them do some of the work. Not everything is my responsibility. They’re adults - they have a role to play in the relationship as well. Not just me.
5. No more taking everything on my shoulders. I’m tired of doing all the work and getting all the blame. That stops NOW.
6. They’re upset, well tough shit. They’re adults, they can learn how to un-upset themselves. No more beating myself up or losing my shit that other people are upset with them. If I make amends, then my guilt stops and I stop feeling bad because they feel bad.
7. Don’t let people talk to me disrespectfully. Speak up and walk away if necessary.
8. If I’m not up to it, I can say no or stop. No apologies. Not feeling it is reason enough.
9. Be 75% less apologetic.
10. STICK TO IT!!!