Facing Reality (for some time now)
RAAA.
Yes I'm about good on working, not the fact of getting paid to work, but the fact of having to sit on a computer 8+ hours a day typing data. It gets old. I want to be out in the yard or working out in the elements, working a sweat, getting dirty ya know? It makes you feel like you have EARNED your pay. I probably shouldn't be pissed about my job or the situation I am in, I should be fortunate that I have a job and can save while spend some good cash on one thing I really enjoy. Speaking of which the car will be done BY August...I'll get back to that later.
A lot of this shit I'm typing is based on my opinion so bear with it please, maybe it will keep you optimistic in understanding some things in your life, or not.
There comes a time where reality hits you hard in life. I'm going through it right now AGAIN. It comes in intervals. In other words I had a nervous breakdown yesterday and got way too fucking EMO for my own liking, but I needed to let out some bottled up feelings I guess. I don't know where they come from, but it seems like every month or 2 it will hit me and I become a total wreck. You may see me looking fine and normal on the outside, but inside its a whole different story. For one I can't believe I'm displaying these thoughts on here, but I have to let them out somewhere and I'm feeling now is the time. Maybe someone can shed some light.
Sometimes I think a lot of my problems come from substance. In example smoking way too much ganj throughout the past year or 2. Two years of my life have gone by in a flash thanks to abusing substances such as alcohol and the green. Here is a fine example...Right now I would be finishing up on my 2 year degree in Computer and Electronic Engineering. That lil certificate could gaurentee me atleast a payrange of 30,000+ in my first year in the field. With further education I could be making 50k+. Instead I chose to not stick with it, say fuck it, and find other means to make money. In that time I held 1 job. I worked for about 2 months laying brick and being a laborer. Luckily I was fortunate to get this deskjob and hold the job for over a year now (still working now.) I made a horrible choice. Now I'm lost and can't even figure out what the heck I want to go to school for. Let alone wonder how the hell I am going to pay for it. I pretty much don't give a fuck anymore. It is what it is. (edit I was going off on this but I got deterred by a problem here at work so now I lost focus.)
I lost focus. peace out.
Yes I'm about good on working, not the fact of getting paid to work, but the fact of having to sit on a computer 8+ hours a day typing data. It gets old. I want to be out in the yard or working out in the elements, working a sweat, getting dirty ya know? It makes you feel like you have EARNED your pay. I probably shouldn't be pissed about my job or the situation I am in, I should be fortunate that I have a job and can save while spend some good cash on one thing I really enjoy. Speaking of which the car will be done BY August...I'll get back to that later.
A lot of this shit I'm typing is based on my opinion so bear with it please, maybe it will keep you optimistic in understanding some things in your life, or not.
There comes a time where reality hits you hard in life. I'm going through it right now AGAIN. It comes in intervals. In other words I had a nervous breakdown yesterday and got way too fucking EMO for my own liking, but I needed to let out some bottled up feelings I guess. I don't know where they come from, but it seems like every month or 2 it will hit me and I become a total wreck. You may see me looking fine and normal on the outside, but inside its a whole different story. For one I can't believe I'm displaying these thoughts on here, but I have to let them out somewhere and I'm feeling now is the time. Maybe someone can shed some light.
Sometimes I think a lot of my problems come from substance. In example smoking way too much ganj throughout the past year or 2. Two years of my life have gone by in a flash thanks to abusing substances such as alcohol and the green. Here is a fine example...Right now I would be finishing up on my 2 year degree in Computer and Electronic Engineering. That lil certificate could gaurentee me atleast a payrange of 30,000+ in my first year in the field. With further education I could be making 50k+. Instead I chose to not stick with it, say fuck it, and find other means to make money. In that time I held 1 job. I worked for about 2 months laying brick and being a laborer. Luckily I was fortunate to get this deskjob and hold the job for over a year now (still working now.) I made a horrible choice. Now I'm lost and can't even figure out what the heck I want to go to school for. Let alone wonder how the hell I am going to pay for it. I pretty much don't give a fuck anymore. It is what it is. (edit I was going off on this but I got deterred by a problem here at work so now I lost focus.)
I lost focus. peace out.