Nothing but the truth ever hurt so much...

[silencngsociety]

i fell so hard into this hole. i cant get out. i simply dont even want to try. once you tell somebody how you feel right from the bottom of your heart, it can't get worse from that point. at least you've gotten it out, at least you've made your mark, any small attempt is better than none. i cant stand sitting here and knowing he's sleeping and i can't be by his side. is that so wrong? i had this once before, years ago, and it wasn't enough. but ive been through enough to be wiser now and all i want is what i didn't want then. its so inconvenient that this comes up but you can't choose whether to love somebody. you just can't help it. i can't help myself, when i think about it i feel like im completely crazy... he may never love me but i don't think i care. so tell me if this is worth the pain...i know either way i can't stop the stubborn heartache. it won't stop till i've got you.

so we sat silent in that worn leather chair
your arm behind me, wrapped around me
felt like nothing ever went wrong between the two of us
and did it at all?
my memory only lets me think that i have a chance
that i can forgive and forget, but can you?
and the classroom felt crowded but the noise was so empty
meaningless, because you were all the mattered to me.
that night i took my time leaving and i thought over and over
should i tell you to your face?
this just might not be the place.. to let this out.
but i have no choice
and i speak like its my very first words coming out of my mouth
stuttering and tripping over i love you's
dont you see that i'm trying?
and your one word replies make me crazy
that's what youre so good at, you know.
your eyes held me breathless three years ago
can you believe i still feel that sickness,
like you're unbelievably perfect and im nothing.
behind the science building well we were innocent
maybe things have changed but we can pretend.
i could never be happier than the resurrection of our magnetic connection,
our physical madness through the simplest touch.
you're close to me and im in heaven.
don't tell me the truth if it's not what i need to hear
i could hold your hand and just let you lie
if it will keep my heart from breaking...
please keep this heart in one piece tonight.

..."When you're on, I swear you're on.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
I think the whole room can hear me clear my throat.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
Then out of nowhere, put me right back there.
Rip my heart out, you rip my heart right out.
And we know what happens when we get to your house.
Rip my heart out, you'll rip my heart right out.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, please don't, tell me now.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
I throw away everything I've written you.
Oh anything just keep my mind off of it, thinking how I had you once.
No, I can't forget that.
Sometimes I wish I could loose you again.
You're winning me over with everything you say.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
When I let you closer, I only want you closer.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, please don't, tell me now.
Yeah, if you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
If you love me at all..."
-Jimmy Eat World-

i wanna be so much more than this....