~ Our Heartbeat ~
My first attempt in making fan fiction :) People who support me have been a great deal for me to take a step forward :D I try my best and i hope you guys enjoy it :D Thank you very much.. Special thanks to chagyaron for beta-ing my fan fiction >< if not it will be a lump of grammar mistake i think ahahah :D and thank you for all those people that kept supporting me :)
Title : Our Heartbeat
Author : silencewhite
Beta : chagyaron
Pairing : Haehyuk/ Eunhae
Rating : PG-13
Genre: Romance, fluff, angst
Warning: Mpreg, Death
Summary : We proved it to them, didn't we? How love evokes around our life and we can't live without it. How everlasting could exist in this world and how our heartbeat joined into one. Nothing could defeat us, nothing.. Cause we have each other and love.... We would get our happy ending...
Love, people kept saying that true love is impossible for us to
achieve in this modern world. Love could be said in words but merely a lie to
your real feelings. Love is a piece of emotion that could only dig your
heart out and leave you soulless. Love is nothing but weakness. But the
love that I had was beautiful... people may say that I'm naive but for
me my love for him is everything; it made me who I am...
I'm not Lee Donghae without his love...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was autumn, the yellow leaves kept falling down, covering the road that I walked on with him. He was walking happily in front of me. He excitedly looked up upon the trees, face full with amusement.
"Hae, isn't the view beautiful?" my heart skipped a beat every time I saw his beautiful smile.
He always wanted to cover his gummy smile but sometimes, he just forgot to cover it when he was so excited. I smiled and nodded my head, agreeing that the view was beautiful. For me, any view would look beautiful if he's in it.
It had been Thirteen years since we have known each other. Being with him was the best gift from God to me. We grew up together and shared happiness and sadness together and I wondered if everything that we had treasured together would change after today.
Finally we reached the front of his house, my heartbeats quickened and it felt as though it was going to burst out any moment soon. I took a deep breath, looking at his eyes intently. He scrunched his eyebrows.
"Hae is something wrong with you? You were dozing in class and you barely spoke today"
I just smiled knowing how cute he could get when he’s worried about me, but I knew that I had to do this or else I would regret it. I stared into his eyes and our faces were getting closer, he blushed while his body leaned for support against his door to his house.
"Hyukkie..." was all that I could whisper to him. Suddenly my guts left me behind and my mind became blank instantly. I put his palm on my chest so that he could feel my rapid heartbeat that was screaming to get out of me.
"Hae are you sick? You're struggling for breaths and your heartbeats are really fast" he asked, face filled with worries.
"I'm sick...” before he responded with another worried question I continued "sick of not telling you that I.... I... I love you" I was stuttering but I know I wanted to say this. I had been keeping this feeling inside of me and I need to know whether my one sided love was possible to be our love.
His face was really red and I couldn't help but think that he's really cute, but at the same time, wondered if he would feel the same as I did. He started crying and I panicked. His tears slowly ran over his milky skin cheeks and he buried his face on my chest where he could clearly hear my nonstop rapid heartbeats. I laid a palm on his head, rubbing it slowly; trying to calm him down and to calm myself down too.
"I... I... I.... Tho.. Thought.. Tha.. That this day would never come"he sobbed.
My heart cheered for my happiness, it seemed like it was dancing around within my chest. I smiled widely and I couldn’t stop smiling right until I lifted his chin to see his face as he said "I love you too Hae" while his tears still flowed across his cheek.
I kissed him softly, I couldn’t help it because the expression on his face as he told me that he loved me and
his tears and blushes made it irresistible. That's the start of our love story and since then, my heart only belonged to him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had graduated and decided to live together. We spent every single day together appreciating that we had. We talked, smiled, laughed, cried, teased, and threw tantrum to each other. Sure there were times in our relationship where misunderstanding or conflict happened. Fighting always made us cry, pout and lonely. Since we know we can't survive without each other, either I or he would finally take a step forward to solve the problem, we couldn't ignore each other since we have so much love in our hearts. No matter what we go through, whether through painful or happy times, we knew that we were meant for each other.
Time went by so fast and Hyukkie's birthday had came. He was turning 27 and he told me that he didn't want anything. All he wanted was 24 hours time with me. No work, no birthday party, nothing, just me and him. I granted his wish and of course I planned something behind his back. I’ve been planning this for almost 5 years, and today was the day I will make Hyukkie the happiest person in the world.
At exactly 12.00am I whispered to his ears so that he would open his eyes. He shrugged, not wanting to get up, so I started to whisper and sing happy birthday. He smiled and started to open his eyes. He looked so happy and he kissed me softly, and I can feel he was still smiling. I stopped him and I said
"Hyukkie I got something for you".
I stood on my feet and offered my hand, he smiled and took it. But before we walked hand in hand he went on his knees on our bed and hugged me tightly and laid his head on my chest.
"Thank you for being here"
"I was created for you, Hyukkie".
He pecked my lips and then I placed a blind fold on top of his eyes.
“What are you doing Hae?”
“Do you trust me?”
“I do, but what is this?”
“You’ll see.” I smiled at his confused expression and pecked his lips before we go.
I drove to our secret place that we used to visit when we were kids. It's an old abandoned house, but I had managed to buy and renovated it. Yes I had been saving and work with all my might to give this to him. I asked him to wait in the car, while I set up the second surprise. I opened the blindfold and he opened his eyes. His sleepy face lighten up at once, full of surprise.
"Is this? Is this.. Our secret place?"
I nodded and lead him inside the house. He hugged my arm tightly.
“Are you sure we can go inside?”
“Hmmm… Well we could sneak in, just like we used to.”
“You are crazy hae..” He looked at me while pouting his lips.
“And yet you love me so much” I teased him before kissing his pouted lips.
We sneaked in through the back door, and I found it funny that Hyukkie was innocently following me like he always did when we were kids. He found the strawberry farm that I took care for 2 years, with candle lights all around them. It was early in the morning, the sun hadn't risen yet. So the candles allow me to see his smile and excited face. He stood in the middle of the strawberries and shouted.
"Look Hae, there are strawberries everywhere"
“It’s yours.”
“Huh? What do you mean? This belongs to Mr.Landlord Hae.”
“Mr.Landlord?”
“Yes, I gave a nickname for him since we don’t know who he is ever since we were kids” he smiled proudly and excitedly.
“Oh I see, so Mr.Landlord would be you then”
“…….”
I sighed, wondering if he was pretending to not understand or he’s just too clueless and innocent.
“Our secret place, the strawberry farm, and me are your birthday gifts. Silly monkey”
He covered his mouth and his face looked so surprise. I laughed and smiled seeing his cute expression. I opened my arms in hope that he would run into it and let me feel the warmth of his body in this coldness of the early morning.
"I LOVE YOU, HAE!!" he shouted like he never did before before running into my arms, making us both fell down onto the grass. He touched my face and looked into my eyes.
"Hae, I don't deserve you. You are too good to be true."
"Neither do I, but how could I not Love you. You are my everything"
"That’s why we have each other. To complete one another"
We laid there and watch as the sun rise beautifully. Hyukkie decided to bake his own birthday cake, he told me that this would be a good practice to be my wife. Wife? Yes, I would definitely take him as my wife. I knew from the start that my life would be depended on him, my heart only beats for him, and everything in me belonged to him. We cooked together and become more loving than ever. Every second feels like heaven and every touch felt like a treasure. I hugged him from behind while kissing him on his neck while he’s trying to focus on the cake. He started to giggle and asked me to stop kissing him. I put some cream on his face and continued on with my torture; we were having fun just like a pair of brats.
“Happy birthday my Hyukkie!” he blew the candles and smiled widely at me. That smile made me fall in love again and again. I kissed him slowly and circled my arms around his thin waist. He opened his mouth, allowing me to deepen the kiss. Nothing could stop me now, nothing could stop me to have him because…
“You are mine, Hyukkie”
It's almost midnight and before the clock striked twelve, I got up from our bed and took a white box before him and slid a ring to his slim finger. "My heart only beats for you, would you be my wife?"
He looked at me and I could see his tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.
“I do and always will. I love you”
The clock stroke midnight and there was nothing more perfect than sleeping with the person you love the most in your arms.
=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=
Where am I? I'm confused. The sight of Hyukkie appeared before my eyes. He sat on the floor with his head on our bed. Suddenly he screamed as though his heart was forcefully taken out from his body
"I HATE YOUUUU! I HATE YOU HAE!!! I REGRET THAT I MET YOU! I HATE YOU!"
My heart ached so much upon hearing this. What have I done? Why did he hate me?I saw a painful image that slowly tore my heart with a passion. Hyukkie cried and cried and cried, never stopping. He could hardly breathe because of his tears.
"Why... Why Hae? Tell me why.. Why did you leave me? Why..."
Me, leaving him? I would never do that, never! I walked toward his weak looking body and I wanted to hold him, hug him, kiss him and tell him that I would never leave him. My hand.. My hand went through him.. I couldn't touch him, I couldn’t hold him. He couldn't see me or hear me…
Images started to flicker in my head.
A drunk driver, ambulance, and roses covered in blood.
Yes I remember it was our 3rd anniversary of marriage and I was on my way home with roses in my hand. But the flower never gets to Hyukkie’s hand, my life ended at that time. Time never move for me, all I’ve been doing all this time was travelling through my memories. People used to say that you will see your entire life when you are dead, but I didn't know until know that I felt it myself.
Tears escaped my eyes, evidence of my pain just from looking at Hyukkie's condition. My heart, the heart that no longer beats, felt the pain; pain that was ripping my heart slowly. His pale skin that I used to touch could no longer be felt. I couldn’t hug Hyukkie’s weak body that trembled greatly. I was in front of him and yet he felt so far away from me. I cried as he cry. Why did this happened to us? Is this a punishment for being so in love? Why?
I extended my hand above his delicate skin.
This is all I can do, Hyukkie please hear me. I am here, here beside you. Please don’t cry, don’t cry, looking at your tears hurt me. Every drop of tears that you shed is every drop of blood that I bled.
He buried his face into our pillow, screaming my name.
“HAEEEEEEEEEEEE! COME BACKKKKKK! COME BACKKKKK!” the sounds of his voice made me cry even harder. He curled himself on our bed, trying to breathe between his crying. I was on my knees, staring at him while he hit his chest again and again. Just this once, let my heart beat, let me hold him, let me tell him how much I love him, let me kiss his lips once more, and let me wipe his tears.
Please spare us this great pain....
My time has ended… and so does Hyukkie’s time
We are trap in this maze of sorrow
The cloud is not blue anymore
It was grey and dark
Similar to this room
It’s cold and full of despair
No more laughter
Only tears
We’re so close and yet so far away at the same time
Will this nightmare ever end?
Hyukkie didn't sleep or eat properly and I wandered around, unable to move on to the next pathway. The light kept on calling me and I know I couldn’t stay here forever, but I couldn’t leave Hyukkie like this. He’s like a living human without a soul while I was the lonely soul without a living body.
Our close friends, his parents and my mom were worried sick about him. They tried everything to help Hyukkie. Hyukkie refused to talk to anyone, refused to go out from our house, refused to let go of me, and refused to move on. Sungmin, Leeteuk, and everyone started to cry seeing Hyukkie like this. They hugged Hyukkie and begged him to talk, but Hyukkie just stared blankly. The smile that I adore no longer could be found. I cried and talked to him everyday even though I knew that he was unable to listen to me.
He tortured himself by not eating and crying all day. He looked at our rings and started pulling at his hair and cry. He sniffed at my pillow and hugged it, saying"I love you so much Hae but I hate you for leaving
me. I don’t want you to leave me, I’m afraid that I will forget your face, your smell, and how you touch me."
I was in front of him, crying with him and aching from not being able to touch him, to wipe his tears, and kiss his lips. I was dying inside even though I was dead.
Hyukkie fell sick. He threw up and kept on throwing up. Sometimes he couldn’t even throw up because there was no food inside his stomach which made his condition a lot worst. Hyukkie collapsed in front of me and I couldn’t do anything at all. Luckily my mom went to visit him and found him. The doctor checked on him and give him some fluid. My mom stayed beside him as he open his eyes. She gave him a letter and it was my letter that I made for our 10th anniversary.
My dear everlasting love, Lee Hyuk Jae
Happy anniversary my cute monkey. It's been 3 years we've been husband and wife, it’s been 13 years we’ve been together, it’s been 25 years we’ve known each other. Look at those numbers, people said it’s impossible right? Well we’ve proved to them that they are wrong. There is such thing as an everlasting love. Every second of my life, my love for you will never disappear.
I'm sorry for the times we havea fought. I was being possessive, and I blurted
out words that I don’t mean to. I'm sorry. Thank you for being with me all these times, for loving me, for having me, and being there for me. Always remember that I will forever love you whether my heart beats or not. And your heartbeats belongs to me only.
Hyukkie I know that we love children so much and we've been dancing around this topic. I want to have a family with you. I want to have kids with you. And our child will be the prove of our love. We will shower him/her with love and combine our heartbeats to create a new life. Hyukkie what do you think? I think we should make love everyday :P
Love you always,
Your lover lee donghae
Hyukkie cried and tried to cover his eyes because my mom was watching him. She explained that the police found the drunk driver and put him behind bars, and they found this letter inside my pocket. I found my letter would only make Hyukkie hurt even more and I hated myself for that.
Hyukkie held the paper to his chest before thanking my mom.
"Hyukjae, my son will always love you. Please take care of the child for Donghae’s sake."
"What?" His tears stopped at my mom’s words.
"The child in your tummy, please take care of him/her. The baby is the prove that Hae exist and your love with him"
"Hae's child? I'm pregnant?"
"Yes the doctor said that you are one and a half month pregnant. He was amazed that the baby is strong and healthy even though your body is really weak"
I put my hand on Hyukkie's tummy just slightly above it and smiled like I’ve never done for a long time, crying happy tears. Our baby, our love, would be the reason for us to look forward to the future and move on.
Hyukkie started to cry and touched his tummy. He hugged my mom.
"I have Hae.. I have Hae..." he was sobbing and whispering at the same time.
Hyukkie started to be his normal self. He took care of our child with care and the others would help him do chores and stuff. He smiled and laughed every time our baby kicked from within his tummy. At night he would sit down and talk to the baby.
"You should grow up healthily, because your appa and umma wants to see you grow up. You are the heartbeat of our lives."
He touched our rings and looked up the sky.
"Hae, I love you. I know you are watching over me and our baby. I will teach our baby to love someone like you did. I will never forget you." I was beside him nodding and smiling.
Somehow I know that it's time for me to move on. I know that this house would be full of love and laughter. I know Hyukkie would be alright. I took a step closer to Hyukkie and touched his tummy while kissing him on the lips. It's a miracle that for a moment I could finally touch him. Probably it's the last give from God to us. Hyukkie closed his eyes, looking as though knowing that I would kiss him. Then I started to walk away.
"Goodbye Hae.. I love you"
"I love you, the heartbeat of my life"
So what do you think? Sorry if its disappointing, i try my best and this is the first time i write my own plot... I hope you guys like it...
Please comment or suggest or anything... COMMENTS ARE LOVE , everything are love...
Thank you very much
p.s euniie i did it :D. I keep this plot because i think i will give more angst and lots of angst in other story :D thank you so much
Title : Our Heartbeat
Author : silencewhite
Beta : chagyaron
Pairing : Haehyuk/ Eunhae
Rating : PG-13
Genre: Romance, fluff, angst
Warning: Mpreg, Death
Summary : We proved it to them, didn't we? How love evokes around our life and we can't live without it. How everlasting could exist in this world and how our heartbeat joined into one. Nothing could defeat us, nothing.. Cause we have each other and love.... We would get our happy ending...
Love, people kept saying that true love is impossible for us to
achieve in this modern world. Love could be said in words but merely a lie to
your real feelings. Love is a piece of emotion that could only dig your
heart out and leave you soulless. Love is nothing but weakness. But the
love that I had was beautiful... people may say that I'm naive but for
me my love for him is everything; it made me who I am...
I'm not Lee Donghae without his love...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was autumn, the yellow leaves kept falling down, covering the road that I walked on with him. He was walking happily in front of me. He excitedly looked up upon the trees, face full with amusement.
"Hae, isn't the view beautiful?" my heart skipped a beat every time I saw his beautiful smile.
He always wanted to cover his gummy smile but sometimes, he just forgot to cover it when he was so excited. I smiled and nodded my head, agreeing that the view was beautiful. For me, any view would look beautiful if he's in it.
It had been Thirteen years since we have known each other. Being with him was the best gift from God to me. We grew up together and shared happiness and sadness together and I wondered if everything that we had treasured together would change after today.
Finally we reached the front of his house, my heartbeats quickened and it felt as though it was going to burst out any moment soon. I took a deep breath, looking at his eyes intently. He scrunched his eyebrows.
"Hae is something wrong with you? You were dozing in class and you barely spoke today"
I just smiled knowing how cute he could get when he’s worried about me, but I knew that I had to do this or else I would regret it. I stared into his eyes and our faces were getting closer, he blushed while his body leaned for support against his door to his house.
"Hyukkie..." was all that I could whisper to him. Suddenly my guts left me behind and my mind became blank instantly. I put his palm on my chest so that he could feel my rapid heartbeat that was screaming to get out of me.
"Hae are you sick? You're struggling for breaths and your heartbeats are really fast" he asked, face filled with worries.
"I'm sick...” before he responded with another worried question I continued "sick of not telling you that I.... I... I love you" I was stuttering but I know I wanted to say this. I had been keeping this feeling inside of me and I need to know whether my one sided love was possible to be our love.
His face was really red and I couldn't help but think that he's really cute, but at the same time, wondered if he would feel the same as I did. He started crying and I panicked. His tears slowly ran over his milky skin cheeks and he buried his face on my chest where he could clearly hear my nonstop rapid heartbeats. I laid a palm on his head, rubbing it slowly; trying to calm him down and to calm myself down too.
"I... I... I.... Tho.. Thought.. Tha.. That this day would never come"he sobbed.
My heart cheered for my happiness, it seemed like it was dancing around within my chest. I smiled widely and I couldn’t stop smiling right until I lifted his chin to see his face as he said "I love you too Hae" while his tears still flowed across his cheek.
I kissed him softly, I couldn’t help it because the expression on his face as he told me that he loved me and
his tears and blushes made it irresistible. That's the start of our love story and since then, my heart only belonged to him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had graduated and decided to live together. We spent every single day together appreciating that we had. We talked, smiled, laughed, cried, teased, and threw tantrum to each other. Sure there were times in our relationship where misunderstanding or conflict happened. Fighting always made us cry, pout and lonely. Since we know we can't survive without each other, either I or he would finally take a step forward to solve the problem, we couldn't ignore each other since we have so much love in our hearts. No matter what we go through, whether through painful or happy times, we knew that we were meant for each other.
Time went by so fast and Hyukkie's birthday had came. He was turning 27 and he told me that he didn't want anything. All he wanted was 24 hours time with me. No work, no birthday party, nothing, just me and him. I granted his wish and of course I planned something behind his back. I’ve been planning this for almost 5 years, and today was the day I will make Hyukkie the happiest person in the world.
At exactly 12.00am I whispered to his ears so that he would open his eyes. He shrugged, not wanting to get up, so I started to whisper and sing happy birthday. He smiled and started to open his eyes. He looked so happy and he kissed me softly, and I can feel he was still smiling. I stopped him and I said
"Hyukkie I got something for you".
I stood on my feet and offered my hand, he smiled and took it. But before we walked hand in hand he went on his knees on our bed and hugged me tightly and laid his head on my chest.
"Thank you for being here"
"I was created for you, Hyukkie".
He pecked my lips and then I placed a blind fold on top of his eyes.
“What are you doing Hae?”
“Do you trust me?”
“I do, but what is this?”
“You’ll see.” I smiled at his confused expression and pecked his lips before we go.
I drove to our secret place that we used to visit when we were kids. It's an old abandoned house, but I had managed to buy and renovated it. Yes I had been saving and work with all my might to give this to him. I asked him to wait in the car, while I set up the second surprise. I opened the blindfold and he opened his eyes. His sleepy face lighten up at once, full of surprise.
"Is this? Is this.. Our secret place?"
I nodded and lead him inside the house. He hugged my arm tightly.
“Are you sure we can go inside?”
“Hmmm… Well we could sneak in, just like we used to.”
“You are crazy hae..” He looked at me while pouting his lips.
“And yet you love me so much” I teased him before kissing his pouted lips.
We sneaked in through the back door, and I found it funny that Hyukkie was innocently following me like he always did when we were kids. He found the strawberry farm that I took care for 2 years, with candle lights all around them. It was early in the morning, the sun hadn't risen yet. So the candles allow me to see his smile and excited face. He stood in the middle of the strawberries and shouted.
"Look Hae, there are strawberries everywhere"
“It’s yours.”
“Huh? What do you mean? This belongs to Mr.Landlord Hae.”
“Mr.Landlord?”
“Yes, I gave a nickname for him since we don’t know who he is ever since we were kids” he smiled proudly and excitedly.
“Oh I see, so Mr.Landlord would be you then”
“…….”
I sighed, wondering if he was pretending to not understand or he’s just too clueless and innocent.
“Our secret place, the strawberry farm, and me are your birthday gifts. Silly monkey”
He covered his mouth and his face looked so surprise. I laughed and smiled seeing his cute expression. I opened my arms in hope that he would run into it and let me feel the warmth of his body in this coldness of the early morning.
"I LOVE YOU, HAE!!" he shouted like he never did before before running into my arms, making us both fell down onto the grass. He touched my face and looked into my eyes.
"Hae, I don't deserve you. You are too good to be true."
"Neither do I, but how could I not Love you. You are my everything"
"That’s why we have each other. To complete one another"
We laid there and watch as the sun rise beautifully. Hyukkie decided to bake his own birthday cake, he told me that this would be a good practice to be my wife. Wife? Yes, I would definitely take him as my wife. I knew from the start that my life would be depended on him, my heart only beats for him, and everything in me belonged to him. We cooked together and become more loving than ever. Every second feels like heaven and every touch felt like a treasure. I hugged him from behind while kissing him on his neck while he’s trying to focus on the cake. He started to giggle and asked me to stop kissing him. I put some cream on his face and continued on with my torture; we were having fun just like a pair of brats.
“Happy birthday my Hyukkie!” he blew the candles and smiled widely at me. That smile made me fall in love again and again. I kissed him slowly and circled my arms around his thin waist. He opened his mouth, allowing me to deepen the kiss. Nothing could stop me now, nothing could stop me to have him because…
“You are mine, Hyukkie”
It's almost midnight and before the clock striked twelve, I got up from our bed and took a white box before him and slid a ring to his slim finger. "My heart only beats for you, would you be my wife?"
He looked at me and I could see his tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.
“I do and always will. I love you”
The clock stroke midnight and there was nothing more perfect than sleeping with the person you love the most in your arms.
=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=
Where am I? I'm confused. The sight of Hyukkie appeared before my eyes. He sat on the floor with his head on our bed. Suddenly he screamed as though his heart was forcefully taken out from his body
"I HATE YOUUUU! I HATE YOU HAE!!! I REGRET THAT I MET YOU! I HATE YOU!"
My heart ached so much upon hearing this. What have I done? Why did he hate me?I saw a painful image that slowly tore my heart with a passion. Hyukkie cried and cried and cried, never stopping. He could hardly breathe because of his tears.
"Why... Why Hae? Tell me why.. Why did you leave me? Why..."
Me, leaving him? I would never do that, never! I walked toward his weak looking body and I wanted to hold him, hug him, kiss him and tell him that I would never leave him. My hand.. My hand went through him.. I couldn't touch him, I couldn’t hold him. He couldn't see me or hear me…
Images started to flicker in my head.
A drunk driver, ambulance, and roses covered in blood.
Yes I remember it was our 3rd anniversary of marriage and I was on my way home with roses in my hand. But the flower never gets to Hyukkie’s hand, my life ended at that time. Time never move for me, all I’ve been doing all this time was travelling through my memories. People used to say that you will see your entire life when you are dead, but I didn't know until know that I felt it myself.
Tears escaped my eyes, evidence of my pain just from looking at Hyukkie's condition. My heart, the heart that no longer beats, felt the pain; pain that was ripping my heart slowly. His pale skin that I used to touch could no longer be felt. I couldn’t hug Hyukkie’s weak body that trembled greatly. I was in front of him and yet he felt so far away from me. I cried as he cry. Why did this happened to us? Is this a punishment for being so in love? Why?
I extended my hand above his delicate skin.
This is all I can do, Hyukkie please hear me. I am here, here beside you. Please don’t cry, don’t cry, looking at your tears hurt me. Every drop of tears that you shed is every drop of blood that I bled.
He buried his face into our pillow, screaming my name.
“HAEEEEEEEEEEEE! COME BACKKKKKK! COME BACKKKKK!” the sounds of his voice made me cry even harder. He curled himself on our bed, trying to breathe between his crying. I was on my knees, staring at him while he hit his chest again and again. Just this once, let my heart beat, let me hold him, let me tell him how much I love him, let me kiss his lips once more, and let me wipe his tears.
Please spare us this great pain....
My time has ended… and so does Hyukkie’s time
We are trap in this maze of sorrow
The cloud is not blue anymore
It was grey and dark
Similar to this room
It’s cold and full of despair
No more laughter
Only tears
We’re so close and yet so far away at the same time
Will this nightmare ever end?
Hyukkie didn't sleep or eat properly and I wandered around, unable to move on to the next pathway. The light kept on calling me and I know I couldn’t stay here forever, but I couldn’t leave Hyukkie like this. He’s like a living human without a soul while I was the lonely soul without a living body.
Our close friends, his parents and my mom were worried sick about him. They tried everything to help Hyukkie. Hyukkie refused to talk to anyone, refused to go out from our house, refused to let go of me, and refused to move on. Sungmin, Leeteuk, and everyone started to cry seeing Hyukkie like this. They hugged Hyukkie and begged him to talk, but Hyukkie just stared blankly. The smile that I adore no longer could be found. I cried and talked to him everyday even though I knew that he was unable to listen to me.
He tortured himself by not eating and crying all day. He looked at our rings and started pulling at his hair and cry. He sniffed at my pillow and hugged it, saying"I love you so much Hae but I hate you for leaving
me. I don’t want you to leave me, I’m afraid that I will forget your face, your smell, and how you touch me."
I was in front of him, crying with him and aching from not being able to touch him, to wipe his tears, and kiss his lips. I was dying inside even though I was dead.
Hyukkie fell sick. He threw up and kept on throwing up. Sometimes he couldn’t even throw up because there was no food inside his stomach which made his condition a lot worst. Hyukkie collapsed in front of me and I couldn’t do anything at all. Luckily my mom went to visit him and found him. The doctor checked on him and give him some fluid. My mom stayed beside him as he open his eyes. She gave him a letter and it was my letter that I made for our 10th anniversary.
My dear everlasting love, Lee Hyuk Jae
Happy anniversary my cute monkey. It's been 3 years we've been husband and wife, it’s been 13 years we’ve been together, it’s been 25 years we’ve known each other. Look at those numbers, people said it’s impossible right? Well we’ve proved to them that they are wrong. There is such thing as an everlasting love. Every second of my life, my love for you will never disappear.
I'm sorry for the times we havea fought. I was being possessive, and I blurted
out words that I don’t mean to. I'm sorry. Thank you for being with me all these times, for loving me, for having me, and being there for me. Always remember that I will forever love you whether my heart beats or not. And your heartbeats belongs to me only.
Hyukkie I know that we love children so much and we've been dancing around this topic. I want to have a family with you. I want to have kids with you. And our child will be the prove of our love. We will shower him/her with love and combine our heartbeats to create a new life. Hyukkie what do you think? I think we should make love everyday :P
Love you always,
Your lover lee donghae
Hyukkie cried and tried to cover his eyes because my mom was watching him. She explained that the police found the drunk driver and put him behind bars, and they found this letter inside my pocket. I found my letter would only make Hyukkie hurt even more and I hated myself for that.
Hyukkie held the paper to his chest before thanking my mom.
"Hyukjae, my son will always love you. Please take care of the child for Donghae’s sake."
"What?" His tears stopped at my mom’s words.
"The child in your tummy, please take care of him/her. The baby is the prove that Hae exist and your love with him"
"Hae's child? I'm pregnant?"
"Yes the doctor said that you are one and a half month pregnant. He was amazed that the baby is strong and healthy even though your body is really weak"
I put my hand on Hyukkie's tummy just slightly above it and smiled like I’ve never done for a long time, crying happy tears. Our baby, our love, would be the reason for us to look forward to the future and move on.
Hyukkie started to cry and touched his tummy. He hugged my mom.
"I have Hae.. I have Hae..." he was sobbing and whispering at the same time.
Hyukkie started to be his normal self. He took care of our child with care and the others would help him do chores and stuff. He smiled and laughed every time our baby kicked from within his tummy. At night he would sit down and talk to the baby.
"You should grow up healthily, because your appa and umma wants to see you grow up. You are the heartbeat of our lives."
He touched our rings and looked up the sky.
"Hae, I love you. I know you are watching over me and our baby. I will teach our baby to love someone like you did. I will never forget you." I was beside him nodding and smiling.
Somehow I know that it's time for me to move on. I know that this house would be full of love and laughter. I know Hyukkie would be alright. I took a step closer to Hyukkie and touched his tummy while kissing him on the lips. It's a miracle that for a moment I could finally touch him. Probably it's the last give from God to us. Hyukkie closed his eyes, looking as though knowing that I would kiss him. Then I started to walk away.
"Goodbye Hae.. I love you"
"I love you, the heartbeat of my life"
So what do you think? Sorry if its disappointing, i try my best and this is the first time i write my own plot... I hope you guys like it...
Please comment or suggest or anything... COMMENTS ARE LOVE , everything are love...
Thank you very much
p.s euniie i did it :D. I keep this plot because i think i will give more angst and lots of angst in other story :D thank you so much