but theres a switch that gets hit and it all stops making sense...
06/14/05
its beeen soooo looong. yesterday was a month since i've been here. i dont know why but i just hadnt felt like writting. there hasnt been much to write anyway and i guess whatever did go on i felt like keeping it to myself.
everythings been cool so far. finally feel a little more comftorable in SA.
booo i have to get a job now. i might start working at dominoes. i'm gonna smell like pizza all the time. gilbert dont eat me!
saturday and sunday were fun. saturday went to a show. and i drove to the show!!!!!! i cant believe i drove myself all the way over there and made it in one piece. and honestly i dont even know how i got there. but well i drank more than i should have and i couldnt drive myself home. but that was figured out and i made it home safe. sunday hung out with two crazy goons (ryan and juan) and then we met up with yushon and margarita a.k.a little margret. it was awesome to finally meet her. thyre cool not crazy like juan makes them sound.
the other night i felt a huge weight for a second. it was strange. all of a sudden i missed everyone and everything. and i felt i was about to cry and i did just a little bit, like 3 tears came out. but then i was fine. it was all like in 10 seconds or something. i felt sad and then i felt okay. crazyness.
the day after that i was in my room picking up my clothes cuz it was everywhere and i decided to listen to the gardensate/wicker park soundtarck mix i had burned...which probably was the cause...and i sat down cuz i knew it wasnt gonna be good...and i started crying. but i wasnt crying for anything in particular, i was just crying. and probably because all the songs are so sad. but i think i needed to just cry. i hadnt really felt much and it felt relieving to just feel sad and cry. and when i was done i felt good.
hmm. its been kinda hard for me to get to sleep. nothings wrong or anything but i just stay awake. i feel sleepy so i go to bed and as soon as i go to bed i'm not sleepy anymore its weird.