(no subject)
i'm tired of hearing "i don't want to hurt you" let's be honest, it'll probaby be me that'll end up hurting him. we're both afraid of taking the next step. we're both afraid of commitment but what better way to fight being afraid than confronting it? if things don't work out, well at least we tried and hey, we know now for the future, but i'm tired of waiting and i'm tired of doing stuff with him [even if i enjoy it] when he isn't my boyfriend. it's not me. i hate doing stuff with guys that i'm not going out with. i just feel so gross when it happens because i feel like a whore [not saying that people who do stuff with other people while not going out are whores]. maybe back in freshman year i would've been ok with it, considering i probably did stuff with a guy once every 2 weeks or something but i'm different now. i just want to settle down. i don't want to pressure him if he's not ready but seriousy, i'm tired of waiting. i even told him that it hurts a lot when you like someone and they say they like you back but they don't want to go out with you. it make me feel so inferior and that im not good enough for him. hopefully things will clear up. meanwhile, i guess i have more waiting to do..