I'm Ready to let the Rivers Wash Over me.
This week has been shit and it is only Wednesday.
Work is severely chaotic from the moment I step in the door until when I leave and I can't do anything right it feels like even though I'm asking how high when I'm told to jump. Plaster a smile on my face, a stern voice with the kids, and lift and carry all the heavy shit but still am not doing everything perfect. Damn Christmas program, how I'll love when you're over.
I am feeling so much right now but can't seem to find my mouth words and it's leaving me with a constant buzz of anxiety that hasn't been present in awhile and makes me uncomfortable. I can't begin to put it all into not only functional words but any at all and it's driving me insane and making me more uncomfortable than I need to be. I keep having conversations with myself where I disagree and can't understand my own self. I can't reconcile everything around me and it makes me feel so unattached to absolutely everything. I'm at that point where I want to scream and throw things simply because my mind won't settle down and I need to express everything jumbled up in it somehow but can't come to a rational way how.
I think I need one of those ever healing drives right about now.
Work is severely chaotic from the moment I step in the door until when I leave and I can't do anything right it feels like even though I'm asking how high when I'm told to jump. Plaster a smile on my face, a stern voice with the kids, and lift and carry all the heavy shit but still am not doing everything perfect. Damn Christmas program, how I'll love when you're over.
I am feeling so much right now but can't seem to find my mouth words and it's leaving me with a constant buzz of anxiety that hasn't been present in awhile and makes me uncomfortable. I can't begin to put it all into not only functional words but any at all and it's driving me insane and making me more uncomfortable than I need to be. I keep having conversations with myself where I disagree and can't understand my own self. I can't reconcile everything around me and it makes me feel so unattached to absolutely everything. I'm at that point where I want to scream and throw things simply because my mind won't settle down and I need to express everything jumbled up in it somehow but can't come to a rational way how.
I think I need one of those ever healing drives right about now.