just guess...

[silence_killz]

I'm tired.
So exhausted actually. It's been a while since I posted on here, because
I'm tired.

My grandma died 2 days ago.

I found out while checking my cell phone for missed calls before the Review Session for
another test.
And I will be studying all weekend long for
another test.
And then after that I have to study for another test.

All this studying while spontaneously holding back and
preventing
my thoughts of sadness and recollections of great times spent with my grandma,
preventing
myself from feeling the pain of her now permanent absence from the rest of my life. And all because I have to study for

another test.

I want to feel sadness, I want to suffer, I want to cry but I can't. You wanna know why?

I've got to study for another test.

btw, my cousin Will flew in from Nashville tonight for the funeral. He's like the cool big brother that I never had. I always have looked up to him and I still do.....even though I hear that he might now have a drinking problem.

Girls can be poison. Will, stay strong. one love,

=brian=