(no subject)
the rain stopped.
and now there is a brilliant clear sky overhead, with the wind tearing through the newly turned leaves. i love autumn, especially autumn in the mountians. i never want to leave here.
being logical -at times anyway- of course, i know i'll have to, eventually. but i hope i never have to leave it for long.
I know i haven't posted in a long time, so i'll make this one a good one.
SERIOUS LIFE CHANGING SHITE GOING DOWN ON THIS PAGE.
well, my life anyway; see, i've decided to change my major from Biology to Political Science. I can't keep up the Bio. it's not that it's too hard, once i got past the introductory classes, i did fine, but it simply doesn't interest me as a major anymore. i will always love it, i mean, how could i not, i was practically raised as a mini-bio-lab-tech, but i've come to realise more and more that being in the major is making me hate it. i know enough to be dangerous, but not enough to be useful. Mum says it's partly her and Da's fault, with me being bored in class and therefore not putting forth the effort. eh. i say it's my fault for being a lazy-ass.
So i've decided that i want to pursue something along the lines of international diplomacy. work in a consulate, be an attache, that sort of thing. i don't mind the languages (i enjoy learning them, always have) i don't mind the ettiquite (what with my already quasi-idealistic-victorian mannerisms, thankx sweetie, i now have another neurosis) or the customs or the dressing in buisness wear (i already have a contingentcy plan in place, bwhahaha) and i really do think that this will be of more service to the world as a whole then me spending the great part of my life on a research vessel. (no matter how much i might have tried, i don't think that was going to happen, actually, my grades weren't high enough, and those positions are extremely competative)
Stac tells me that it's going to be good for me, and that "you probably won't get brainwashed, either" which is a plus, i suppose? *laughs*
I want to travel, i really, really do, always have, i want to meet other people in exotic places and then sneak off to run around like a crazy tourist taking B&Ws of everything with my Da's trusty old SLR. i want to make connections and set up a network in the eventuality that the revolution does come and i'm in the thick of it. and most of all... i want to make him proud. he once told me that i didn't know anything about the world, that i was going to live at home for the rest of my life because i wasn't brave enough to leave. i live my life to prove him wrong, i have since... well... since then. i guess i don't really want to make him proud, i guess it's probably more of a revenge thing. i will live an amazing life, full of wonder and constant discovery and general badassery; because now i have to live for both of us.
even if living that life means leaveing someone else behind, someone i'm so fond of it's the fucking scariest thing i've ever yet been through since... well... since then.
it's going to hurt, it's going to hurt worse then anything else has in a long time, but i am going to make sure that that person is happy, well, as happy as they can be when they've gambled their heart on someone like me. i am so not worth it. no matter what he says.
i've decided, however, to make the jump anyway; that every great life needs a little regret, a little what if... a little bit of longing and nostalgia for what could have been.
Every great life needs a love story.
and now there is a brilliant clear sky overhead, with the wind tearing through the newly turned leaves. i love autumn, especially autumn in the mountians. i never want to leave here.
being logical -at times anyway- of course, i know i'll have to, eventually. but i hope i never have to leave it for long.
I know i haven't posted in a long time, so i'll make this one a good one.
SERIOUS LIFE CHANGING SHITE GOING DOWN ON THIS PAGE.
well, my life anyway; see, i've decided to change my major from Biology to Political Science. I can't keep up the Bio. it's not that it's too hard, once i got past the introductory classes, i did fine, but it simply doesn't interest me as a major anymore. i will always love it, i mean, how could i not, i was practically raised as a mini-bio-lab-tech, but i've come to realise more and more that being in the major is making me hate it. i know enough to be dangerous, but not enough to be useful. Mum says it's partly her and Da's fault, with me being bored in class and therefore not putting forth the effort. eh. i say it's my fault for being a lazy-ass.
So i've decided that i want to pursue something along the lines of international diplomacy. work in a consulate, be an attache, that sort of thing. i don't mind the languages (i enjoy learning them, always have) i don't mind the ettiquite (what with my already quasi-idealistic-victorian mannerisms, thankx sweetie, i now have another neurosis) or the customs or the dressing in buisness wear (i already have a contingentcy plan in place, bwhahaha) and i really do think that this will be of more service to the world as a whole then me spending the great part of my life on a research vessel. (no matter how much i might have tried, i don't think that was going to happen, actually, my grades weren't high enough, and those positions are extremely competative)
Stac tells me that it's going to be good for me, and that "you probably won't get brainwashed, either" which is a plus, i suppose? *laughs*
I want to travel, i really, really do, always have, i want to meet other people in exotic places and then sneak off to run around like a crazy tourist taking B&Ws of everything with my Da's trusty old SLR. i want to make connections and set up a network in the eventuality that the revolution does come and i'm in the thick of it. and most of all... i want to make him proud. he once told me that i didn't know anything about the world, that i was going to live at home for the rest of my life because i wasn't brave enough to leave. i live my life to prove him wrong, i have since... well... since then. i guess i don't really want to make him proud, i guess it's probably more of a revenge thing. i will live an amazing life, full of wonder and constant discovery and general badassery; because now i have to live for both of us.
even if living that life means leaveing someone else behind, someone i'm so fond of it's the fucking scariest thing i've ever yet been through since... well... since then.
it's going to hurt, it's going to hurt worse then anything else has in a long time, but i am going to make sure that that person is happy, well, as happy as they can be when they've gambled their heart on someone like me. i am so not worth it. no matter what he says.
i've decided, however, to make the jump anyway; that every great life needs a little regret, a little what if... a little bit of longing and nostalgia for what could have been.
Every great life needs a love story.