(no subject)
Making love is spiritual/ Making love is a sweet ritual. It's a lyric from that guy I was gushing over last post. And I've been watching clips and such from his facebook, and he's saying some stuff I've been thinking for a really long time. And I think I forgot it. I think I forgot a hell of a lot over the past two years. Been so wrapped up in problems and being not so happy that I forgot some of the most important tenants of my philosophy of life.
And I won't let myself get mad at myself about it, seeing as that's really not in the spirit of love. I just need to remember some things I think I've forgotten.
One, other people are important to me. I might be an introvert, but other people are the reason I get up in the morning. I love being with good people, preferably happy people. Life shouldn't be misery.
Two, I love sacred sex. Sex that means something. Sex in honor of my partner, my lover, the earth, and in the name of love. It doesn't have to be in a relationship - some of my best most sacred sex has been outside the context of a relationship. Those blessed moments where you meet someone and you click just. like. that., and you take them to bed (or, ya know, a tent :-D) and you make sweet love. A shout out too Jeff and Dave seems in order right now, actually. I LOVE those guys. They helped me save myself. And they're two of the best friends a person could ask for.
Three, I live my life in service of others. I'm a healer, a shaman, a priestess of a trickster. I live my life to help people heal. It's what I'm drawn to do, to be; and I need a community for this. I'm too young and inexperienced to do it in a large community, or in public ways - that may change with age. Or it may not. If I just help my friends and religious community, I'm content. But I want to help change the world. Make it a more just and loving place. And yes, that starts at home, and that's good in and of itself. But I feel drawn to write again (see, posts!) and I want to published.
Four, I think I need to stop being sarcastic. Sarcasm is not in the spirit of loving kindness. And I use it a fair bit. And people think it's funny, I guess, but really, it's not nice. It's mean spirited. I'm better than that, and my friends deserve better than that. My friends deserve for me to tell them how I feel, honestly, and to tell them I love them.
Five, I need to make some decisions about some friends I have. Some very bitter, not loving, hateful people (not to me, but to others). I don't know why they're like that. I feel bad for them. These are the sort of people who have guns and conceal carry permits and would not hesitiate to use them. And I love them dearly, but I'm not sure I can be around them anymore. Because my other friend Rosy is like this, like I am trying to be, loving and kind, and they mock her mercilessly. They think that it's silly or sentimental or weak or something. I don't know how I'm going to handle this. I suppose I should get used to it - the world is sometimes a harsh place; which, I guess is why I want to help heal it. And I know from experience that the "hippie dippy free love" message isn't well accecpted. I've seen it happen, and to be honest a decade ago I was the cause of some of it. I was bitter and cynical, and hurt more people than I care to imagine.
One thing I'm grateful for - the internets ability to connect people in different corners of the globe. I'm listening to this guys music, same guy with the lyric above, and he's from Nashville and this was recorded there (I think?) and that's where his shows are, and where he is, and I can still see it. I love the internets right now.
xan
And I won't let myself get mad at myself about it, seeing as that's really not in the spirit of love. I just need to remember some things I think I've forgotten.
One, other people are important to me. I might be an introvert, but other people are the reason I get up in the morning. I love being with good people, preferably happy people. Life shouldn't be misery.
Two, I love sacred sex. Sex that means something. Sex in honor of my partner, my lover, the earth, and in the name of love. It doesn't have to be in a relationship - some of my best most sacred sex has been outside the context of a relationship. Those blessed moments where you meet someone and you click just. like. that., and you take them to bed (or, ya know, a tent :-D) and you make sweet love. A shout out too Jeff and Dave seems in order right now, actually. I LOVE those guys. They helped me save myself. And they're two of the best friends a person could ask for.
Three, I live my life in service of others. I'm a healer, a shaman, a priestess of a trickster. I live my life to help people heal. It's what I'm drawn to do, to be; and I need a community for this. I'm too young and inexperienced to do it in a large community, or in public ways - that may change with age. Or it may not. If I just help my friends and religious community, I'm content. But I want to help change the world. Make it a more just and loving place. And yes, that starts at home, and that's good in and of itself. But I feel drawn to write again (see, posts!) and I want to published.
Four, I think I need to stop being sarcastic. Sarcasm is not in the spirit of loving kindness. And I use it a fair bit. And people think it's funny, I guess, but really, it's not nice. It's mean spirited. I'm better than that, and my friends deserve better than that. My friends deserve for me to tell them how I feel, honestly, and to tell them I love them.
Five, I need to make some decisions about some friends I have. Some very bitter, not loving, hateful people (not to me, but to others). I don't know why they're like that. I feel bad for them. These are the sort of people who have guns and conceal carry permits and would not hesitiate to use them. And I love them dearly, but I'm not sure I can be around them anymore. Because my other friend Rosy is like this, like I am trying to be, loving and kind, and they mock her mercilessly. They think that it's silly or sentimental or weak or something. I don't know how I'm going to handle this. I suppose I should get used to it - the world is sometimes a harsh place; which, I guess is why I want to help heal it. And I know from experience that the "hippie dippy free love" message isn't well accecpted. I've seen it happen, and to be honest a decade ago I was the cause of some of it. I was bitter and cynical, and hurt more people than I care to imagine.
One thing I'm grateful for - the internets ability to connect people in different corners of the globe. I'm listening to this guys music, same guy with the lyric above, and he's from Nashville and this was recorded there (I think?) and that's where his shows are, and where he is, and I can still see it. I love the internets right now.
xan