Called... to what, though?
Ever wonder where you're headed?
I think that having a home in two locations has been messing with me. I long for a sense of "permanence"... which would perhaps happen if I were headquartered in one place as opposed to opposite ends of the country. It sucks sometimes. My loyalties are divided and my heart is, too. Part of me wants to be done with school and move on to the next thing - however, completing school and "going on" doesn't necessarily mean permanence of location will be established.
I just came from the Dominican Republic - while there, I witnessed two people madly in love with each other, serving the Lord together in a place of (at least semi) permanence. I long for that. I want to be "settled" somewhere. That doesn't mean I want to spend my entire life in one place. No. It means I'm sick of being divided up in time and loyalties.
Maybe I'm just being a girl and want to get married... hah - though really, not for ridiculous romantic reasons. I want to be serving our G-d alongside of a mate... together, functioning as a team. God saw it was not good for man to be alone. I'm not alone, but there's a difference between family and a mate. Big difference. I don't care how amazing and wonderful your parents and siblings are - the relationship you have with your mate is different and unlike any other relationship you will ever have in life.
I think I'm just rambling now... thinking about a lot of different things... I'm doing well, overall. My summer is going by fast. I'm going to pursue a dream when I get back to school in the fall. I'm excited about that.
Hmm... maybe I'll run away, learn Spanish fluently, become certified in massage therapy, and then after that, who knows?
Or maybe I'll just go to bed now... maybe sleep will help me. Lord, give me Your plan, one day at a time... and give me peace with that.
I think that having a home in two locations has been messing with me. I long for a sense of "permanence"... which would perhaps happen if I were headquartered in one place as opposed to opposite ends of the country. It sucks sometimes. My loyalties are divided and my heart is, too. Part of me wants to be done with school and move on to the next thing - however, completing school and "going on" doesn't necessarily mean permanence of location will be established.
I just came from the Dominican Republic - while there, I witnessed two people madly in love with each other, serving the Lord together in a place of (at least semi) permanence. I long for that. I want to be "settled" somewhere. That doesn't mean I want to spend my entire life in one place. No. It means I'm sick of being divided up in time and loyalties.
Maybe I'm just being a girl and want to get married... hah - though really, not for ridiculous romantic reasons. I want to be serving our G-d alongside of a mate... together, functioning as a team. God saw it was not good for man to be alone. I'm not alone, but there's a difference between family and a mate. Big difference. I don't care how amazing and wonderful your parents and siblings are - the relationship you have with your mate is different and unlike any other relationship you will ever have in life.
I think I'm just rambling now... thinking about a lot of different things... I'm doing well, overall. My summer is going by fast. I'm going to pursue a dream when I get back to school in the fall. I'm excited about that.
Hmm... maybe I'll run away, learn Spanish fluently, become certified in massage therapy, and then after that, who knows?
Or maybe I'll just go to bed now... maybe sleep will help me. Lord, give me Your plan, one day at a time... and give me peace with that.