Bipolar and I
I never talk about this, being a child of Freud I have a problem sometimes accepting my diagnosis.
Strangely, I know that I have Bipolar and this is my life, this is something that I will have to deal with for the rest of my days on this planet.
It is truly interesting how it tends to manifest itself. Sometimes it is controllable; sometimes it comes out of the woodwork and jumps out to get me. Just a fleeting moment that disappears as fast as it comes.
How do you explain to someone that this is something that tends to pass? It is not that you try to make things happen, it is like there is a monster in the closet. Not that it is dangerous it is just there.
Although I know for a fact that some of the symptoms of mania are shopping, hypersexuality, euphoria, delusions and anything else but it is starting to suck badly.... Manics are really a pain in the ass.
The medication is fucking with me more than anything that I have ever had when I am having my worst episode. I am having one of those right now and it is not fun. This has to be one of the worst rides that I have had in a while.
Relationships get messed up, mostly beyond repair. I don't know what is up with that one. Maybe because of a past experience? Easier to be on my own? I don't think so. Isolation makes it worse. I am not at a point like I have been before, I am just bewildered.
Never again will I go to that place where I was. Being without liberties is kind of degrading. But I do have too much time to ponder there. Too much time to think. Structure is all right but I want it on my terms.
On that note, I think I am going to get out of here for a while. I need to do something rather than sit here at the Casa. Dallas sounds like a good idea. Time to get out of the country and go back to the city for a bit... that way I can hate it again.
Again anyone reading, this is not a cry for help, I am just getting use to the idea of everything that I am dealing with. Too much time is not a good thing for anyone of us. We being children, simply children of Freud we are just trying to understand. Trying to cope.
SIK
Strangely, I know that I have Bipolar and this is my life, this is something that I will have to deal with for the rest of my days on this planet.
It is truly interesting how it tends to manifest itself. Sometimes it is controllable; sometimes it comes out of the woodwork and jumps out to get me. Just a fleeting moment that disappears as fast as it comes.
How do you explain to someone that this is something that tends to pass? It is not that you try to make things happen, it is like there is a monster in the closet. Not that it is dangerous it is just there.
Although I know for a fact that some of the symptoms of mania are shopping, hypersexuality, euphoria, delusions and anything else but it is starting to suck badly.... Manics are really a pain in the ass.
The medication is fucking with me more than anything that I have ever had when I am having my worst episode. I am having one of those right now and it is not fun. This has to be one of the worst rides that I have had in a while.
Relationships get messed up, mostly beyond repair. I don't know what is up with that one. Maybe because of a past experience? Easier to be on my own? I don't think so. Isolation makes it worse. I am not at a point like I have been before, I am just bewildered.
Never again will I go to that place where I was. Being without liberties is kind of degrading. But I do have too much time to ponder there. Too much time to think. Structure is all right but I want it on my terms.
On that note, I think I am going to get out of here for a while. I need to do something rather than sit here at the Casa. Dallas sounds like a good idea. Time to get out of the country and go back to the city for a bit... that way I can hate it again.
Again anyone reading, this is not a cry for help, I am just getting use to the idea of everything that I am dealing with. Too much time is not a good thing for anyone of us. We being children, simply children of Freud we are just trying to understand. Trying to cope.
SIK