The Domino Effect
The domino effect, my mind, my being, and the problems caused by a irradiated mind with too much time to contemplate the finer, not so important things in life while the more important things that surround you go by ever so painfully.
I have been going what seems 100 miles an hour since 3 weeks ago. Wedding after wedding, projects to do art shows to close up and consolidation of art. My hallway in the apartment looks more like some bastardized version of a gallery.
Photographs are everywhere, framed and unframed. It is messing with my head a bit. I need to get a handle on it before my OCD has a field day with me. I cannot stand clutter in my space. I can on someone else’s but not in mine. Kind of strange that I can let it go with someone else but not with myself. A product of being over-critical I guess.
Well, the Birthday went over without a hitch, well almost. First, it was off to the only decent Sushi place north of Dallas. How they ended up in Lil’ ole’ Sherman Texas I may never know but the food was good and I got for the first time hear cowboy’s Yee Haw! at the hibachi chefs. If you think that I am kidding please, let me know and the next time I am in there I will be more than happy to take a pic or two to prove my point.
Then I went up to the casino and went in with $35.00 expecting to make a bit off of it and at the same time not expecting anything. I doubled my money and in a fit of greed, lost everything. Still the same it was a great experience that I will never forget. This past week has been a bit hectic. I have many things going on that need to be finished before the end of this month and I am doing my best to do just that.
I had a friend of mine call me up the day after my birthday saying that she needed me to come out to help with a problem that her husband and her were having. The whole thing was a mess and needless to say I do not feel that it is my right to go into details. I have been a friend to the both of them for a long time now and I considered it an honor to do so.
By the time the evening / morning was over, I got her back to the apartment and gave her a place to crash and burn. I know that it was the right thing to do especially under the before mentioned, but not mentioned conditions.
Above this, there is the other chaos that is intermittently splashed within the muddle. The things that I do not have control over. For the first time in a long time I am sleeping much more than I feel I should. What “NORMAL” people would consider just that, 8+ hours, I cannot feel this as being so. It is bringing me a bit down. Lethargic would be a better term for what I am feeling.
It is almost a chore to get out and do the things that need to be done let alone the things that I enjoy doing. I haven’t touched my camera for anything other than work and it bothers me also. Guess my priorities have changed for the time being. I know it will be soon; just 3 more long weeks to go till it is all resolved.
For that part, this is the first time that I have been on the PC in probably a week; THEN it was only to post and to look at my e-mail, which at that time was empty. That later in the week would change but I didn’t know about it until I got on this morning to check for that o so long week. I now wish I would have checked it sooner but there is nothing I can do about it.
I just need to get things taken care of and my mind is in a bit of a whirl at the moment as if I am swimming in mud. My medication is still messing with me a bit. I thought that this would change after a month or so but I have come to the conclusion that there is more to it than just the medication.
With the complications of a very bad Christmas, the outcome is now beginning to manifest itself and become more obvious. Some days are better than others. Movements are very deliberate, especially in my hands, the left particularly. This is very unnerving for me considering I am left-handed.
The feeling is hard do describe to the layperson. It is as if you have a missing ball bearing in a wheel and it catches a bit when it is turned. Almost bionic and robotic in a way, like there is a glitch in the programming and it is trying to work itself out. I hope that this is just a passing phase and not just the beginning of something much worse down the line.
Hand and facial twitches are frightening, debilitating to some degree all things considered. There are other things that I have continued to note. This may be a good time to consider an MRI to find out the extent of the neural damage.
I was told that it would of course go one of two ways, better or worse and it seems that it has taken the latter. I have found some medications on the Internet that may help and when I am afforded the opportunity to talk to them I will do so.
I will post more later.
T.
I have been going what seems 100 miles an hour since 3 weeks ago. Wedding after wedding, projects to do art shows to close up and consolidation of art. My hallway in the apartment looks more like some bastardized version of a gallery.
Photographs are everywhere, framed and unframed. It is messing with my head a bit. I need to get a handle on it before my OCD has a field day with me. I cannot stand clutter in my space. I can on someone else’s but not in mine. Kind of strange that I can let it go with someone else but not with myself. A product of being over-critical I guess.
Well, the Birthday went over without a hitch, well almost. First, it was off to the only decent Sushi place north of Dallas. How they ended up in Lil’ ole’ Sherman Texas I may never know but the food was good and I got for the first time hear cowboy’s Yee Haw! at the hibachi chefs. If you think that I am kidding please, let me know and the next time I am in there I will be more than happy to take a pic or two to prove my point.
Then I went up to the casino and went in with $35.00 expecting to make a bit off of it and at the same time not expecting anything. I doubled my money and in a fit of greed, lost everything. Still the same it was a great experience that I will never forget. This past week has been a bit hectic. I have many things going on that need to be finished before the end of this month and I am doing my best to do just that.
I had a friend of mine call me up the day after my birthday saying that she needed me to come out to help with a problem that her husband and her were having. The whole thing was a mess and needless to say I do not feel that it is my right to go into details. I have been a friend to the both of them for a long time now and I considered it an honor to do so.
By the time the evening / morning was over, I got her back to the apartment and gave her a place to crash and burn. I know that it was the right thing to do especially under the before mentioned, but not mentioned conditions.
Above this, there is the other chaos that is intermittently splashed within the muddle. The things that I do not have control over. For the first time in a long time I am sleeping much more than I feel I should. What “NORMAL” people would consider just that, 8+ hours, I cannot feel this as being so. It is bringing me a bit down. Lethargic would be a better term for what I am feeling.
It is almost a chore to get out and do the things that need to be done let alone the things that I enjoy doing. I haven’t touched my camera for anything other than work and it bothers me also. Guess my priorities have changed for the time being. I know it will be soon; just 3 more long weeks to go till it is all resolved.
For that part, this is the first time that I have been on the PC in probably a week; THEN it was only to post and to look at my e-mail, which at that time was empty. That later in the week would change but I didn’t know about it until I got on this morning to check for that o so long week. I now wish I would have checked it sooner but there is nothing I can do about it.
I just need to get things taken care of and my mind is in a bit of a whirl at the moment as if I am swimming in mud. My medication is still messing with me a bit. I thought that this would change after a month or so but I have come to the conclusion that there is more to it than just the medication.
With the complications of a very bad Christmas, the outcome is now beginning to manifest itself and become more obvious. Some days are better than others. Movements are very deliberate, especially in my hands, the left particularly. This is very unnerving for me considering I am left-handed.
The feeling is hard do describe to the layperson. It is as if you have a missing ball bearing in a wheel and it catches a bit when it is turned. Almost bionic and robotic in a way, like there is a glitch in the programming and it is trying to work itself out. I hope that this is just a passing phase and not just the beginning of something much worse down the line.
Hand and facial twitches are frightening, debilitating to some degree all things considered. There are other things that I have continued to note. This may be a good time to consider an MRI to find out the extent of the neural damage.
I was told that it would of course go one of two ways, better or worse and it seems that it has taken the latter. I have found some medications on the Internet that may help and when I am afforded the opportunity to talk to them I will do so.
I will post more later.
T.