Photography, Nerves, Peace & Serenity
I am very nervous. Anxious if you will. It has been almost a month since I have done portraits let alone a bridal session. My mind is going a thousand miles an hour and it seems not to stop.
I have gotten my customary 4 hours of sleep... refreshing, but it might contribute to the anxiety.
I get to go though to my oasis, Oklahoma for the session. From there it is about 10 miles to the ranch. I love this place. My gift of serenity. My reason of being.
I will visit my ex's mother to take flowers to the grave and talk to her for a bit. The pine trees blowing in the wind. There is a grave close to hers that has wind chimes and I will listen to those as I contemplate life. Life is way to short to take it for granted.
I miss seeing that ornary woman. Her breast cancer, in remission for many years came back in July last year and was simply put a tragety. Her passing in February left me cold and bitter. I know though that it was hard on her to be in that position those last months. Now she will never suffer again.
I will never forget the funeral in Oklahoma that we had for her. There was one staged in Dallas for her daughter who at this point I leave nameless, and then we had the other. I wouldn't let anyone else hold the ashes. Thas is until the grandchildren put them into the grave.
I know I may have made a spectical at the funeral because of this but I felt close to her and this was my little way of saying goodbye. Crying to me is not something that needs to be hidden. Tears were and are my release. I know that I did that day and I can guarantee that I will do the same today.
I will choose to go to my canyon from there and sit for what will be hours. This is my place that no one can ever take from me. I make sure to leave by night though for my own safety. The coyotes come out of hiding at night and I would surely be the prey. There are deer that come out at night also. The last time I was there it was a few doe and fawn in tow. The scene was breath taking.
This will be my visit to the oasis, this will be my salvation.
Tom
I have gotten my customary 4 hours of sleep... refreshing, but it might contribute to the anxiety.
I get to go though to my oasis, Oklahoma for the session. From there it is about 10 miles to the ranch. I love this place. My gift of serenity. My reason of being.
I will visit my ex's mother to take flowers to the grave and talk to her for a bit. The pine trees blowing in the wind. There is a grave close to hers that has wind chimes and I will listen to those as I contemplate life. Life is way to short to take it for granted.
I miss seeing that ornary woman. Her breast cancer, in remission for many years came back in July last year and was simply put a tragety. Her passing in February left me cold and bitter. I know though that it was hard on her to be in that position those last months. Now she will never suffer again.
I will never forget the funeral in Oklahoma that we had for her. There was one staged in Dallas for her daughter who at this point I leave nameless, and then we had the other. I wouldn't let anyone else hold the ashes. Thas is until the grandchildren put them into the grave.
I know I may have made a spectical at the funeral because of this but I felt close to her and this was my little way of saying goodbye. Crying to me is not something that needs to be hidden. Tears were and are my release. I know that I did that day and I can guarantee that I will do the same today.
I will choose to go to my canyon from there and sit for what will be hours. This is my place that no one can ever take from me. I make sure to leave by night though for my own safety. The coyotes come out of hiding at night and I would surely be the prey. There are deer that come out at night also. The last time I was there it was a few doe and fawn in tow. The scene was breath taking.
This will be my visit to the oasis, this will be my salvation.
Tom