(no subject)
So. I have about two weeks left in my Freshman year of college. The year has flown by, despite how much has occurred.
I've been caught completely between two of my closest friends. I have been seriously injured by something that I love. I have had random hookups. I've had the random hookups lead to something special. I have been "sexiled." I have streaked the Quad and come to realize that solely streaking is NOT as embarrassing as it can get - Complete mortification is not complete until one faceplants while streaking. I have been so drunk that I needed someone to escort me home. I have evaded arrest. I have gotten in trouble with all of our RAs and I have argued my way out of any serious trouble. I have been genuinely ready to get out of this place. I have missed my friends from home so much that I've cried about them until I could dream about them. I've lost relationships. I've gained relationships. I've pushed old relationships away for the new ones. I've gotten into an actual relationship with someone I cared about, while never completely getting over the last one. I've gotten into a giant water balloon fight inside the building - and then cleaned it all up. I've walked across the frozen lake. I've played strip beer pong. I've dealt with the fact that someone I love as much as any family member is terminally ill. I have gotten better at a great deal of things. I have been an accomplice in direly hurting people's feelings. I've made rivalries and had them, in turn, pour beer down my shirt. I've taken two of my favorite boys in the world to the hospital because they got in a fight with frat boys. I've had serious mental breakdowns. I've missed my parents. I've gained independence. I've thought deeper and more on my own. I've dismissed a lot in the world. I've gotten much better at reading people. I have been booty-called. I have gone from loving my roommate to hating her to really appreciating her. I've dealt with people's preconceived notions of what I am. I have helped people that I have not even known a full year through some of the most difficult life decisions imaginable. I have made an impact on people. I have played beer pong with liquor. I have called into work because I was still drunk. I have become enamored with an entirely new group of people.
And that's only the beginning. Freshman year has been amazing and I have found, much to my dismay, that I am really going to fucking miss these people. I remember my mom warning me in the car on the way here on move-in day that I needed to be careful partying with these people because they "weren't gonna be Matt and Justin anymore" and as much as I love and appreciate Matt and Justin, these people are pretty amazing, too. There is such a kinship with those that I have actually established any kind of relationships with. Tom. Catherine. Sara. Chris. Both Chris's, in fact. MaryKate. Stephen. D. Taylor Lee. Bobby. Robert and Ryan, even! I am going to miss everyone SO much. It makes me so sad to think that I only have TWO WEEKS left with everyone. This year has put me through a lot, but it has been more than good for me. I have grown SO much. And I'm proud of that. I'm more than a little nervous that things aren't going to be the same next year. I was so lucky to have been pitted with so many ridiculously fun and cool (compatible even) people. I'm so happy that I got the chance to grow close to those people that I did end up growing close to. I love that I have so many new friends that I can not JUST party with, but actually sit down and talk about life with, even though talks about the weekends are cool, too. That I'm close enough with these people, and comfortable enough to get in a fight with them over one of our well-beings. Tom took me throwing a beer on him the other night because he took a cigarette out of my hand. That's kind of deep love. It's an ideal lifestyle. You go out and have amazing amounts of fun, but you can still have your moments of intellectuality. Stephen a few days ago had said that we fear leaving college more than death, and in all honesty... yeah, we do. I mean, almost anything that has happened, I could look back on and smile about, dramatic, happy, dorky, whatever. Freshman year has been AMAZING. I hope the next three years can live up, I guess is what I'm saying.
The more I think about it, I guess that if I WANT to keep in touch with people from this year, it will probably happen. D and Chris will be right across the volleyball court from us, and Stephen and Ray are going to be fairly close as well. I'm going to have to make this work for us.
I've been caught completely between two of my closest friends. I have been seriously injured by something that I love. I have had random hookups. I've had the random hookups lead to something special. I have been "sexiled." I have streaked the Quad and come to realize that solely streaking is NOT as embarrassing as it can get - Complete mortification is not complete until one faceplants while streaking. I have been so drunk that I needed someone to escort me home. I have evaded arrest. I have gotten in trouble with all of our RAs and I have argued my way out of any serious trouble. I have been genuinely ready to get out of this place. I have missed my friends from home so much that I've cried about them until I could dream about them. I've lost relationships. I've gained relationships. I've pushed old relationships away for the new ones. I've gotten into an actual relationship with someone I cared about, while never completely getting over the last one. I've gotten into a giant water balloon fight inside the building - and then cleaned it all up. I've walked across the frozen lake. I've played strip beer pong. I've dealt with the fact that someone I love as much as any family member is terminally ill. I have gotten better at a great deal of things. I have been an accomplice in direly hurting people's feelings. I've made rivalries and had them, in turn, pour beer down my shirt. I've taken two of my favorite boys in the world to the hospital because they got in a fight with frat boys. I've had serious mental breakdowns. I've missed my parents. I've gained independence. I've thought deeper and more on my own. I've dismissed a lot in the world. I've gotten much better at reading people. I have been booty-called. I have gone from loving my roommate to hating her to really appreciating her. I've dealt with people's preconceived notions of what I am. I have helped people that I have not even known a full year through some of the most difficult life decisions imaginable. I have made an impact on people. I have played beer pong with liquor. I have called into work because I was still drunk. I have become enamored with an entirely new group of people.
And that's only the beginning. Freshman year has been amazing and I have found, much to my dismay, that I am really going to fucking miss these people. I remember my mom warning me in the car on the way here on move-in day that I needed to be careful partying with these people because they "weren't gonna be Matt and Justin anymore" and as much as I love and appreciate Matt and Justin, these people are pretty amazing, too. There is such a kinship with those that I have actually established any kind of relationships with. Tom. Catherine. Sara. Chris. Both Chris's, in fact. MaryKate. Stephen. D. Taylor Lee. Bobby. Robert and Ryan, even! I am going to miss everyone SO much. It makes me so sad to think that I only have TWO WEEKS left with everyone. This year has put me through a lot, but it has been more than good for me. I have grown SO much. And I'm proud of that. I'm more than a little nervous that things aren't going to be the same next year. I was so lucky to have been pitted with so many ridiculously fun and cool (compatible even) people. I'm so happy that I got the chance to grow close to those people that I did end up growing close to. I love that I have so many new friends that I can not JUST party with, but actually sit down and talk about life with, even though talks about the weekends are cool, too. That I'm close enough with these people, and comfortable enough to get in a fight with them over one of our well-beings. Tom took me throwing a beer on him the other night because he took a cigarette out of my hand. That's kind of deep love. It's an ideal lifestyle. You go out and have amazing amounts of fun, but you can still have your moments of intellectuality. Stephen a few days ago had said that we fear leaving college more than death, and in all honesty... yeah, we do. I mean, almost anything that has happened, I could look back on and smile about, dramatic, happy, dorky, whatever. Freshman year has been AMAZING. I hope the next three years can live up, I guess is what I'm saying.
The more I think about it, I guess that if I WANT to keep in touch with people from this year, it will probably happen. D and Chris will be right across the volleyball court from us, and Stephen and Ray are going to be fairly close as well. I'm going to have to make this work for us.