SPN SPOOF - 6.11 - Oh (Sam Will Be The) Death (Of Dean)
#SPN SPOOF - 6.11 - Oh (Sam Will Be The) Death (Of Dean)
DISCLAIMER - I DON'T OWN SAM OR DEAN OR DEATH. AND THE SONGS MENTIONED ARE NOT MINE. NO PROFIT IS MADE.
PREVIOUSLY: Sam and Dean successfully defeated Lucifer and sent him back to hell and they now hunt while being executive producers of the hit TV show Supernatural, an alternative way of them 'writing' the Winchester Gospel
Dean’s already annoyed of this episode and he hasn’t even seen it. Sam’s been really excited because it’s supposedly the episode where he gets his soul back. Dean’s eyes hurt because he’s been rolling his eyes so much. He’s reminded Sam several times that the show isn’t real but that doesn’t seem to bother Sam.
“You know, you’re basically a fangirl,” he says to Sam as he watches Sam “prepare” himself for the episode. Sam pouts at him through the mirror and Dean shrugs. He's sure that Sam is two steps away from applying his guyliner.
"How do you even know what that is?" Sam asks and Dean coughs. He may or may not have let that cute little waitress from Tampa put eyeliner on him. And Dean looked fucking hot with it too.
But Sam is being ridiculous. It's only 7pm and all Dean wants to do is get drunk. Apparently Sam has other ideas.
"So I think we should watch last week's episode and then watch Smallville!" Sam says and he practically squeals. Dean can't even muster up enough energy for an eyeroll. He wonders why he puts up with this shit.
---
6.11 - Oh (Sam Will Be The) Death (Of Dean)
"Just gonna stand there and watch me turn, but that's alright because you haven't got a soul. Just gonna stand there and watch me cry but that's alright because I love the way you lie"
Dean's already unimpressed by the song choice. Sam's always singing the song in the shower and well if it continues Sam's gonna love the way Dean can use his fists.
(Dean is seen entering a KOREAN RESTAURANT, he walks over to the man at the counter)
Dean: Back room please
Man: password
Dean: Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Man: Like G6, like a g6
(Dean quickly leaves and walks over to the back door where he finds Doctor Super waiting for him)
Docter Super: Omg! Dean. You're a BIG boy now.
Dean: It's called growing up.
Super: What can I do for you?
Dean: I need you to put me under for 3 minutes
Super: No.
Dean: No?
Super: Do you want me to say it in Korean?
Dean: But I need to speak to Death! Like yesterday.
Super: Why didn't you say so! I have his cell phone number.
Dean: o.o
---
(Dean is parked on a deserted street somewhere and he gets out of the Impala as he grumbles about something under his breath)
Dean: This is so stupid. *clears throat as he dials Deaths number*
Dean: Oh, Death, оh Death, oh Death, Won't you spare me over til another year
Dean: This is fucking ridiculouus
Death: Well, I was rather enjoying it
Dean: Shut up
Death: o.O
Dean: I need your help, I want Sam's soul back
Death: Yeah well, I want my ring back
Dean: DEAL!
Death: LOL
Dean: ....LOL?
Death: Oh sorry, the last person I took care of was a teenager. He kept on saying LOL as he pleaded for mercy. He told me to look it up on Urban Dictionary. I was very surprised at how vast it is.
Dean:....what the fuck is Urban Dictionary?
Death: Never mind. Anyway, this teenager happened to work at McDonalds and I may or may not have accidentally taken an extra person by mistake
Dean: WTF
Death: And they're a person short, also...this way I can take the right amount of people
Dean: You takes the lives of people who are simply buying a Big Mac?
Death: Eh, it's practical. Gotta love the fast food chains.
Dean: I'm never eating at McDonald's again.
Death: BBL
Dean:...the fuck does that mean? I HATE ACRONYMS
*****
Sam: So...he's going to give me my soul back if you work a couple of shifts in McDonalds?
Dean: Yeah
Sam: Okay.
Dean: Don't thank me or anything..
Sam: I won't. I'm just gonna go...outside
Dean: I swallowed the ring so don't bother!
Sam: You..
Dean: HA-HA!
Sam: THAT'S JUST SICK.
Dean: o.O
*****
Dean: Make sure he doesn't go anywhere
Bobby: I'll just sit on him until you get back
Dean: GOOD IDEA, BRO
Bobby: Don't take that tone with me boy!
Dean:....sheesh.
****
Sam: I need a spell to stop me from getting my soul back
Balthazar: I DON'T CURR.
****
[Sam and Bobby proceed to chase each other around Bobby's house. Sam's pissed at the whole situation. Bobby's just thankful for the exercise]
****
Dean: SO I failed. I gave them all quarter pounders instead.
Death: YOU MESSED UP THE NATURAL ORDER.
Dean: Uh-huh.
Death: But meh, I don't mind. I just needed the holiday.
Dean: ...
Death: Pest Control. It relaxes the mind. They're quieter than people
Dean: o.O
Death: I'ma give you Sam's soul. You two keep on fucking up the natural order. CONTINUE!
Dean: You're nine kinds of crazy you know that?
Death: Is that a compliment?
Dean: NO.
Death: Then cram it with walnuts, ugly!
Dean: O.o
***
Sam: WTF. I'M ALWAYS IN THE FUCKING ROOM. CAN'T YOU AT LEAST CHANGE THE DECOR. FML
Dean: FML?
Death: It means "Eff My Life"
Sam: OH SHUT UP.
Death: Yeah, yeah...so here's your soul. Whatever you do don't scratch the wall.
Sam: WHAT WALL?
Death: There's no need to shout. Sheesh.
[Death pulls a bright orb of white light from his briefcase and pushes into Sam's chest]
Sam: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dean: YESSSS *FISTPUMP*
Bobby: Whatever, you do don't get any blood on the concrete, it's a bitch to clean.
[Sam and Dean turn to look at Bobby]
Bobby: What? It's true!
Dean: How does it feel Sammy? Now that you've got your soul?
Sam: 1. DON'T CALL ME SAMMY and 2. FUCK OFF.
Dean: That's mah boy!
THE END.
----
Dean breathes a sigh of relief as the credits roll and he turns to look at Sam only to see that Sam's dabbing at his eyes with a soggy tissue. He proceeds to whack his head against the table. Several times.
"I need a drink".
DISCLAIMER - I DON'T OWN SAM OR DEAN OR DEATH. AND THE SONGS MENTIONED ARE NOT MINE. NO PROFIT IS MADE.
PREVIOUSLY: Sam and Dean successfully defeated Lucifer and sent him back to hell and they now hunt while being executive producers of the hit TV show Supernatural, an alternative way of them 'writing' the Winchester Gospel
Dean’s already annoyed of this episode and he hasn’t even seen it. Sam’s been really excited because it’s supposedly the episode where he gets his soul back. Dean’s eyes hurt because he’s been rolling his eyes so much. He’s reminded Sam several times that the show isn’t real but that doesn’t seem to bother Sam.
“You know, you’re basically a fangirl,” he says to Sam as he watches Sam “prepare” himself for the episode. Sam pouts at him through the mirror and Dean shrugs. He's sure that Sam is two steps away from applying his guyliner.
"How do you even know what that is?" Sam asks and Dean coughs. He may or may not have let that cute little waitress from Tampa put eyeliner on him. And Dean looked fucking hot with it too.
But Sam is being ridiculous. It's only 7pm and all Dean wants to do is get drunk. Apparently Sam has other ideas.
"So I think we should watch last week's episode and then watch Smallville!" Sam says and he practically squeals. Dean can't even muster up enough energy for an eyeroll. He wonders why he puts up with this shit.
---
6.11 - Oh (Sam Will Be The) Death (Of Dean)
"Just gonna stand there and watch me turn, but that's alright because you haven't got a soul. Just gonna stand there and watch me cry but that's alright because I love the way you lie"
Dean's already unimpressed by the song choice. Sam's always singing the song in the shower and well if it continues Sam's gonna love the way Dean can use his fists.
(Dean is seen entering a KOREAN RESTAURANT, he walks over to the man at the counter)
Dean: Back room please
Man: password
Dean: Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6
Man: Like G6, like a g6
(Dean quickly leaves and walks over to the back door where he finds Doctor Super waiting for him)
Docter Super: Omg! Dean. You're a BIG boy now.
Dean: It's called growing up.
Super: What can I do for you?
Dean: I need you to put me under for 3 minutes
Super: No.
Dean: No?
Super: Do you want me to say it in Korean?
Dean: But I need to speak to Death! Like yesterday.
Super: Why didn't you say so! I have his cell phone number.
Dean: o.o
---
(Dean is parked on a deserted street somewhere and he gets out of the Impala as he grumbles about something under his breath)
Dean: This is so stupid. *clears throat as he dials Deaths number*
Dean: Oh, Death, оh Death, oh Death, Won't you spare me over til another year
Dean: This is fucking ridiculouus
Death: Well, I was rather enjoying it
Dean: Shut up
Death: o.O
Dean: I need your help, I want Sam's soul back
Death: Yeah well, I want my ring back
Dean: DEAL!
Death: LOL
Dean: ....LOL?
Death: Oh sorry, the last person I took care of was a teenager. He kept on saying LOL as he pleaded for mercy. He told me to look it up on Urban Dictionary. I was very surprised at how vast it is.
Dean:....what the fuck is Urban Dictionary?
Death: Never mind. Anyway, this teenager happened to work at McDonalds and I may or may not have accidentally taken an extra person by mistake
Dean: WTF
Death: And they're a person short, also...this way I can take the right amount of people
Dean: You takes the lives of people who are simply buying a Big Mac?
Death: Eh, it's practical. Gotta love the fast food chains.
Dean: I'm never eating at McDonald's again.
Death: BBL
Dean:...the fuck does that mean? I HATE ACRONYMS
*****
Sam: So...he's going to give me my soul back if you work a couple of shifts in McDonalds?
Dean: Yeah
Sam: Okay.
Dean: Don't thank me or anything..
Sam: I won't. I'm just gonna go...outside
Dean: I swallowed the ring so don't bother!
Sam: You..
Dean: HA-HA!
Sam: THAT'S JUST SICK.
Dean: o.O
*****
Dean: Make sure he doesn't go anywhere
Bobby: I'll just sit on him until you get back
Dean: GOOD IDEA, BRO
Bobby: Don't take that tone with me boy!
Dean:....sheesh.
****
Sam: I need a spell to stop me from getting my soul back
Balthazar: I DON'T CURR.
****
[Sam and Bobby proceed to chase each other around Bobby's house. Sam's pissed at the whole situation. Bobby's just thankful for the exercise]
****
Dean: SO I failed. I gave them all quarter pounders instead.
Death: YOU MESSED UP THE NATURAL ORDER.
Dean: Uh-huh.
Death: But meh, I don't mind. I just needed the holiday.
Dean: ...
Death: Pest Control. It relaxes the mind. They're quieter than people
Dean: o.O
Death: I'ma give you Sam's soul. You two keep on fucking up the natural order. CONTINUE!
Dean: You're nine kinds of crazy you know that?
Death: Is that a compliment?
Dean: NO.
Death: Then cram it with walnuts, ugly!
Dean: O.o
***
Sam: WTF. I'M ALWAYS IN THE FUCKING ROOM. CAN'T YOU AT LEAST CHANGE THE DECOR. FML
Dean: FML?
Death: It means "Eff My Life"
Sam: OH SHUT UP.
Death: Yeah, yeah...so here's your soul. Whatever you do don't scratch the wall.
Sam: WHAT WALL?
Death: There's no need to shout. Sheesh.
[Death pulls a bright orb of white light from his briefcase and pushes into Sam's chest]
Sam: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dean: YESSSS *FISTPUMP*
Bobby: Whatever, you do don't get any blood on the concrete, it's a bitch to clean.
[Sam and Dean turn to look at Bobby]
Bobby: What? It's true!
Dean: How does it feel Sammy? Now that you've got your soul?
Sam: 1. DON'T CALL ME SAMMY and 2. FUCK OFF.
Dean: That's mah boy!
THE END.
----
Dean breathes a sigh of relief as the credits roll and he turns to look at Sam only to see that Sam's dabbing at his eyes with a soggy tissue. He proceeds to whack his head against the table. Several times.
"I need a drink".