Of Weddings and Seemingly Happy Endings
The Internet has been but very helpful in keeping people in touch especially those separated by miles of land and sea. Twitter has been a great source of blow-by-blow accounts of what your friends are having for lunch and dinner. Facebook has been a treasure trove of funny and unwanted pictures that reveal how much pretty or fat someone has become. Blog sites are, well, sources of lengthy rants and updates on their lives that went on without you in it.
On the plus side, you get to keep up with people you love and want to be remain friends with for the rest of your life. On the downside--yeah--you got it, you get pestered by people you rather stay away from but can't because they semi-stalk you online despite blocking them from your online accounts.
But news of friends' engagements and weddings always make me feel happy and at the same time, alone.
Sure, I feel thrilled for my friend who'd get his/her happy ending. Sure, I'll come at their wedding. Sure, it's awesome to find your one true love. Sure, sure. It's just that--I get a bit sentimental and lonely and really, really sad because I haven't found THE one. Or just anyone I'd consider spending time (if not forever) with.
No, I'm not really someone who doesn't smile and doesn't get my dose of happiness from being single. I'm satisfied (a bit shy of being happy) with my job, my social life (though some may argue I don't have any), my relationship with my family and friends, and so on and so forth.
Everything's OKAY. Everything's actually fine, and I don't see the need to have someone calling me Baby at times. IT'S JUST THAAAAAAAT engagements and weddings and couple celebrations make me reflect on my failed dates and relationships and what went wrong. It always, always does that and my self-assessment skills start to run off and make a checklist of what I did that made all my prospect matches disappear.
And I hate that part of me that blames myself for everything. I mean, it wasn't my fault in the first place if a boyfriend cheated on me but a teenie-weenie voice inside would always argue that it was my shortcomings that led to that. Then is it my fault too that a date chooses to remain friends because he thinks my job would be more important than him? That was his perception, though I will not deny I felt the same way during that time.
Oh, well. Relatives and friends only make it worse whenever they set me up with dates. I appreciate their efforts, though, and I love them for looking out for me.
I am and will always be wishing for happiness for my friends who found someone to spend the rest of their lives with. And I will always be praying I find someone too who can keep up with all my antics and crazy stunts.
On the plus side, you get to keep up with people you love and want to be remain friends with for the rest of your life. On the downside--yeah--you got it, you get pestered by people you rather stay away from but can't because they semi-stalk you online despite blocking them from your online accounts.
But news of friends' engagements and weddings always make me feel happy and at the same time, alone.
Sure, I feel thrilled for my friend who'd get his/her happy ending. Sure, I'll come at their wedding. Sure, it's awesome to find your one true love. Sure, sure. It's just that--I get a bit sentimental and lonely and really, really sad because I haven't found THE one. Or just anyone I'd consider spending time (if not forever) with.
No, I'm not really someone who doesn't smile and doesn't get my dose of happiness from being single. I'm satisfied (a bit shy of being happy) with my job, my social life (though some may argue I don't have any), my relationship with my family and friends, and so on and so forth.
Everything's OKAY. Everything's actually fine, and I don't see the need to have someone calling me Baby at times. IT'S JUST THAAAAAAAT engagements and weddings and couple celebrations make me reflect on my failed dates and relationships and what went wrong. It always, always does that and my self-assessment skills start to run off and make a checklist of what I did that made all my prospect matches disappear.
And I hate that part of me that blames myself for everything. I mean, it wasn't my fault in the first place if a boyfriend cheated on me but a teenie-weenie voice inside would always argue that it was my shortcomings that led to that. Then is it my fault too that a date chooses to remain friends because he thinks my job would be more important than him? That was his perception, though I will not deny I felt the same way during that time.
Oh, well. Relatives and friends only make it worse whenever they set me up with dates. I appreciate their efforts, though, and I love them for looking out for me.
I am and will always be wishing for happiness for my friends who found someone to spend the rest of their lives with. And I will always be praying I find someone too who can keep up with all my antics and crazy stunts.