(no subject)
Still in the countryside. I love the smell of harvest. Summer's gone. Green turns into a billion colours. I should probably be cramming kanji with sweat in my hat (I love direct and awkward translations of idioms, yes) in order not to embarrass myself to a point of no recovery once school starts, but I can't stop reading fanfic. arashiroadtrip is so good. I haven't read such a well-written Nino in a while.
Going back to school makes me nervous and even slightly scared. I've been attending University of Helsinki for two years already so it's not like I was unfamiliar with it, but I've recently changed my major to Japanese - and I won't be a new Japanese student surrounded by other new Japanese students since I actually completed Japanese 1 last autumn & spring by exams only, due to having attended a similar class in a school that works in close co-operation with the University of Stockholm in 2006-2007. Jesus my education history is complicated. Not that I regret taking a winding road, in the end it was probably faster than the direct one: the year I took the English philology entrance exam (2007) 16% of the applicants were accepted, while in the Department of Asian & African Studies it was 14%; and I felt I could make more sense out of the English entrance exam than the Japanese one.
In any case, I'm having all these doubts and what-ifs. What if I don't blend in at all. I didn't attend a freshman party with my new classmates. I didn't actually attend a freshman party with English majors either, having just moved to Helsinki and being the ultra shy little hedgehog that I was. I've gained some confidence since then, I've made some new friends, worked, woken up next to someone great, woken up next to someone thinking what the fuck am I doing here, thrown up in a bar, the usual stuff you do when you're alive. So if I were a freshman now, I might just attend the fucking party. But I'm not. And I'm just so scared that everyone will either completely ignore me or dislike me and I'll be seen as an intruder. D: Don't ask me how you can intrude a language class, I'm sure you can. u__u I'm sure I can. I had to change schools in the 4th grade due to my parents' divorce, and from there started my 6-year-long career as everyone's favourite target of bullying. So my experiences in being the new kid aren't exactly encouraging.
Adding to my stress is my complete and utter confusion with minor subjects. I don't know what to take in order to boost up my employment prospects. I've tried a bit of everything (I live in a country with a free education system so I'm not wasting my own money here) and the bits have all but failed.
Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! I'm just a simple girl who enjoys shrimp and Sho's fail!mode. The academic world is too much for me to handle. D:
Going back to school makes me nervous and even slightly scared. I've been attending University of Helsinki for two years already so it's not like I was unfamiliar with it, but I've recently changed my major to Japanese - and I won't be a new Japanese student surrounded by other new Japanese students since I actually completed Japanese 1 last autumn & spring by exams only, due to having attended a similar class in a school that works in close co-operation with the University of Stockholm in 2006-2007. Jesus my education history is complicated. Not that I regret taking a winding road, in the end it was probably faster than the direct one: the year I took the English philology entrance exam (2007) 16% of the applicants were accepted, while in the Department of Asian & African Studies it was 14%; and I felt I could make more sense out of the English entrance exam than the Japanese one.
In any case, I'm having all these doubts and what-ifs. What if I don't blend in at all. I didn't attend a freshman party with my new classmates. I didn't actually attend a freshman party with English majors either, having just moved to Helsinki and being the ultra shy little hedgehog that I was. I've gained some confidence since then, I've made some new friends, worked, woken up next to someone great, woken up next to someone thinking what the fuck am I doing here, thrown up in a bar, the usual stuff you do when you're alive. So if I were a freshman now, I might just attend the fucking party. But I'm not. And I'm just so scared that everyone will either completely ignore me or dislike me and I'll be seen as an intruder. D: Don't ask me how you can intrude a language class, I'm sure you can. u__u I'm sure I can. I had to change schools in the 4th grade due to my parents' divorce, and from there started my 6-year-long career as everyone's favourite target of bullying. So my experiences in being the new kid aren't exactly encouraging.
Adding to my stress is my complete and utter confusion with minor subjects. I don't know what to take in order to boost up my employment prospects. I've tried a bit of everything (I live in a country with a free education system so I'm not wasting my own money here) and the bits have all but failed.
Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! I'm just a simple girl who enjoys shrimp and Sho's fail!mode. The academic world is too much for me to handle. D: