it burns
i just woke up from a very intense dream.
i dunno what i means.. probably nothing..but i dunno
i wont go into full detal as much as i would like too. i feel the need to spill my guys about it.. but i cant for the shear fact of what it could mean.
i got exactly what i wanted.my dream come true. he was perfect.and i could see in his eyes he was very nurvose but his fact was calm and so very happy. EVERYBODY was their..all my friends and family..in fact all my family heh. it was romatic and luxgrious *sp* and just so romantic i cryed throught the whole thing. he was so handom and has his sexapeal iv never forgotten. it started with a suprise phone call from him. and ended with us on a plane going to the lakers game..*his best friend was a player in the lakers* although we wernt going to the game.. we were off to a romantic sweet hotel. so he could finish the most beautiful night *had it been real* and in my dream. i wanted to finish it. i wanted to.. but the thing is, i had a problem in my dream.. see my dream come true *with in my dream* wasnt with the man i loved..it wasnt joel..it was somebody else...
i usualy dont wake up at 530 am and decided to let dreams bother me that way.. unless their scary or something.. it was the best dream ever...but it bothers me because of the person i was dreaming about..hes nothing like that in real life.. wich makes me safe to know it would never happen.. but it bothers me cause it wasnt about joel.. and in my dream i knew about joel and that i loved him.. and that he was their ... in the backgroud of it all.. and i still went through with the ordeal..and i wanted it so much cuz of how romantic and how spontanious it all was..and at the end of the dream i wanted to give myself to him. even though iv promised my self to joel only.. i wanted to give it to him in a way that *sigh* i could only dream about.
in my head i knew it was wrong and parts of my heart too.. but most of my heart wanted it so bad..
i dunno how to explain this so you can understand what im feeling.. but it was soooooo real.. and i woke up feeling the same damn things i was feeling while dreaming.. and i could feel my face, it was wet.. i had actuly been crying too..
when i woke up and realized i had been dreaming. my sences took over and i could feel the tears and it was so hot. joel was currled up next to me so tightly i could bearly breath..i layed their for a while trying to fall back asleep. but as i was almost dozing off again. i wanted my dream to continue..i wanted to go through with it..and the awake part of my self was fighting the dreaming side..so i just got up. and here i am.
im not too worried about it right now..the feelings just burn real bad..the only thing i have to worrie about is..
i have to work on sunday.....
i dunno what i means.. probably nothing..but i dunno
i wont go into full detal as much as i would like too. i feel the need to spill my guys about it.. but i cant for the shear fact of what it could mean.
i got exactly what i wanted.my dream come true. he was perfect.and i could see in his eyes he was very nurvose but his fact was calm and so very happy. EVERYBODY was their..all my friends and family..in fact all my family heh. it was romatic and luxgrious *sp* and just so romantic i cryed throught the whole thing. he was so handom and has his sexapeal iv never forgotten. it started with a suprise phone call from him. and ended with us on a plane going to the lakers game..*his best friend was a player in the lakers* although we wernt going to the game.. we were off to a romantic sweet hotel. so he could finish the most beautiful night *had it been real* and in my dream. i wanted to finish it. i wanted to.. but the thing is, i had a problem in my dream.. see my dream come true *with in my dream* wasnt with the man i loved..it wasnt joel..it was somebody else...
i usualy dont wake up at 530 am and decided to let dreams bother me that way.. unless their scary or something.. it was the best dream ever...but it bothers me because of the person i was dreaming about..hes nothing like that in real life.. wich makes me safe to know it would never happen.. but it bothers me cause it wasnt about joel.. and in my dream i knew about joel and that i loved him.. and that he was their ... in the backgroud of it all.. and i still went through with the ordeal..and i wanted it so much cuz of how romantic and how spontanious it all was..and at the end of the dream i wanted to give myself to him. even though iv promised my self to joel only.. i wanted to give it to him in a way that *sigh* i could only dream about.
in my head i knew it was wrong and parts of my heart too.. but most of my heart wanted it so bad..
i dunno how to explain this so you can understand what im feeling.. but it was soooooo real.. and i woke up feeling the same damn things i was feeling while dreaming.. and i could feel my face, it was wet.. i had actuly been crying too..
when i woke up and realized i had been dreaming. my sences took over and i could feel the tears and it was so hot. joel was currled up next to me so tightly i could bearly breath..i layed their for a while trying to fall back asleep. but as i was almost dozing off again. i wanted my dream to continue..i wanted to go through with it..and the awake part of my self was fighting the dreaming side..so i just got up. and here i am.
im not too worried about it right now..the feelings just burn real bad..the only thing i have to worrie about is..
i have to work on sunday.....