Old car woes. Please pass as this is all crap that I am dealing with and need to vent.
The pressure to get wheels was immense when I was living with my son and his wife. She did have to drive me and that was a terrible inconvenience for her. I'd only go to the bank or the store when she went but there were other trips that I am sure added to her frustration. She found a small car and we took it to the shop to see if it was ok to buy...but they said it was not safe and was leaking fluids. While I was there the guys in the shop said there was a guy they knew that had one for sale. He brought it in to the shop when I was there and I took it for a test drive. Yeah it was incredibly high mileage (right on the edge of you've got to be kidding but it runs) but it ran smooth and other than a few other things looked like my way out of the problem not having one was causing.
I saw it as a quick solution. Boy was I wrong. There is not a good system of mass transit and almost everyone has a car here. So I paid a little too much for the old beast and I had wheels. Now that became a source of ridicule and the DIL said, "Well, it is your money." There seemed no way to please her. For a while it was a big relief to not have to depend on her but then she got all..."Well, where were you?" and other similar stuff. Gee. I knew by this time that nothing was going to work out and it got progressively worse. Then the big blow up and she asked me to leave. My son was called at work and got on the phone with his brother trying to figure out how to FIX mom's problem of no home. I didn't go live with him in the first place because his wife was stipulating all this and that if I was to move in. The trap was set and I was mad. I told them I would fix my own problems and went to my dear friend's house but now that is starting to feel uncomfortable (not to mention cold and expensive for the propane)... and so I am paranoid that I have stayed too long.
Am I a pariah or some kind of freak or just different?
I admit I have been pouring out my troubles to her and of course that is not good. There is no patience for people who are just a mess..it feels like a cancer that might be catching. It was suggested that I go to social services today. She loves me but I am too needy right now and her plate is full. She has done enough and I won't burn any bridges with her. How low I have gone..and it is no wonder I have not unpacked. Everything is in piles because this isn't my place and I will be having to leave again soon. The plight of the homeless has become painfully clear and the quick fall in to madness that can be there too.
...now to the car part. I went out to get in my car and there was oil leaking on the ground. I took it back to the place where I found it and asked the shop guys to look at it. They said there was a substancial leak and it could make the engine burn up. The cost? 744.00 half the price I paid for the damn thing just one month ago. Great! I thought I might get six months out of it to get me on my feet and find another old one.
It sort of feels like Mad Max and the Thunderdome...with all those old beat up cars are tearing around....well, anyway my humor has subsided greatly and I no longer feel any joy. I dumped all the photographs of my dog any animals I could find off my computer. I cry every time I see one.
The topper? My friend who is richer than God calls me to tell me she just got her new car and can't figure out all the gages and gagets and maybe her grandkids can help her..then tells me she has to figure out what to do with all these tickets she has that her company gave her...yadda yadda blah blah and I politely said I had to go. Maybe I do need therapy right now cuz I do feel crazy. Any wonder? Oh, and after the car got diagnosed I drove across town only to discover that I didn't have the one piece of paperwork I needed to get my license at the DMV...and a bird pooped on my windshield...anything else Universe? Oh and one more sad thing. I am happy for my rich friend and don't resent her wealth but it is hard to laugh at her silly little things when you are cold and miserable. Shite!
I saw it as a quick solution. Boy was I wrong. There is not a good system of mass transit and almost everyone has a car here. So I paid a little too much for the old beast and I had wheels. Now that became a source of ridicule and the DIL said, "Well, it is your money." There seemed no way to please her. For a while it was a big relief to not have to depend on her but then she got all..."Well, where were you?" and other similar stuff. Gee. I knew by this time that nothing was going to work out and it got progressively worse. Then the big blow up and she asked me to leave. My son was called at work and got on the phone with his brother trying to figure out how to FIX mom's problem of no home. I didn't go live with him in the first place because his wife was stipulating all this and that if I was to move in. The trap was set and I was mad. I told them I would fix my own problems and went to my dear friend's house but now that is starting to feel uncomfortable (not to mention cold and expensive for the propane)... and so I am paranoid that I have stayed too long.
Am I a pariah or some kind of freak or just different?
I admit I have been pouring out my troubles to her and of course that is not good. There is no patience for people who are just a mess..it feels like a cancer that might be catching. It was suggested that I go to social services today. She loves me but I am too needy right now and her plate is full. She has done enough and I won't burn any bridges with her. How low I have gone..and it is no wonder I have not unpacked. Everything is in piles because this isn't my place and I will be having to leave again soon. The plight of the homeless has become painfully clear and the quick fall in to madness that can be there too.
...now to the car part. I went out to get in my car and there was oil leaking on the ground. I took it back to the place where I found it and asked the shop guys to look at it. They said there was a substancial leak and it could make the engine burn up. The cost? 744.00 half the price I paid for the damn thing just one month ago. Great! I thought I might get six months out of it to get me on my feet and find another old one.
It sort of feels like Mad Max and the Thunderdome...with all those old beat up cars are tearing around....well, anyway my humor has subsided greatly and I no longer feel any joy. I dumped all the photographs of my dog any animals I could find off my computer. I cry every time I see one.
The topper? My friend who is richer than God calls me to tell me she just got her new car and can't figure out all the gages and gagets and maybe her grandkids can help her..then tells me she has to figure out what to do with all these tickets she has that her company gave her...yadda yadda blah blah and I politely said I had to go. Maybe I do need therapy right now cuz I do feel crazy. Any wonder? Oh, and after the car got diagnosed I drove across town only to discover that I didn't have the one piece of paperwork I needed to get my license at the DMV...and a bird pooped on my windshield...anything else Universe? Oh and one more sad thing. I am happy for my rich friend and don't resent her wealth but it is hard to laugh at her silly little things when you are cold and miserable. Shite!