A Resolution of Sorts
As one of my I-guess-you-could-call-it-a-resolution for this year, along with cleaning up my credit, I’ve decided to return to livejournal. This marks probably the 273rd time I’ve attempted both, and both have about, I would guess, equal chance of being followed through. Ha. But this time I’m trying not to care about follow-through (with lj, anyway); lately, I’ve just been feeling the need for some sort of expressive writing. Grad school makes my brain feel a little bit like a post office mail room - sticking similar-sized packages in similar-sized slots over and over and over again. If this impulse lasts, good; if not…I can also make another resolution next year. I should have a little more time for this now, though, which will help: this is my last semester of coursework (then come exams), and I’m taking one regular class (postmod irish lit.), doing an independent study (on Georges Bataille), and sitting in on undergrad American Studies class (American radicalism). I feel like I’ll have more free time, anyway.
I did debate for awhile if I wanted lj to be the format. It does, in a way, seem more like a part of my past, something that should be closed off. But I’m comfortable with it and, hey, fuck new beginnings - they’re mythical, after all. Then I thought I’d start a new journal here, but decided against it for similar reasons and because I still want to read the journals of the people on my friends’ list - even if it looks like a good number of them don’t post regularly anymore.
A lot has happened in the intervening months - year - since I last posted. (Also part of the reason I wanted to write again - my memory is the equivalent of a 90 year-old Alzheimer sufferer’s on acid and I need documentation for posterity.) Numero uno change would be that I got married. If you had asked me fall of last year if I thought that would ever happen, I would have said no. After all the nasty shit I went through with relationships directly prior to that, plus the serious questioning I was doing regarding the compatibility of my sexual drive/orientation with anything resembling a conventional relationship, long-term commitment seemed like a fairly remote possibility. But then P. and I started dating and I don’t know what happened. He’s wonderful and intelligent and hot and passionate and unconventional (yet stable) and he loves me unconditionally; and we both, as quickly as it had all happened, decided to go ahead and get married. More saccharine posts regarding love to follow, I promise.
But other things have been happening, too, so I’ll try to keep this up until whenever.
I did debate for awhile if I wanted lj to be the format. It does, in a way, seem more like a part of my past, something that should be closed off. But I’m comfortable with it and, hey, fuck new beginnings - they’re mythical, after all. Then I thought I’d start a new journal here, but decided against it for similar reasons and because I still want to read the journals of the people on my friends’ list - even if it looks like a good number of them don’t post regularly anymore.
A lot has happened in the intervening months - year - since I last posted. (Also part of the reason I wanted to write again - my memory is the equivalent of a 90 year-old Alzheimer sufferer’s on acid and I need documentation for posterity.) Numero uno change would be that I got married. If you had asked me fall of last year if I thought that would ever happen, I would have said no. After all the nasty shit I went through with relationships directly prior to that, plus the serious questioning I was doing regarding the compatibility of my sexual drive/orientation with anything resembling a conventional relationship, long-term commitment seemed like a fairly remote possibility. But then P. and I started dating and I don’t know what happened. He’s wonderful and intelligent and hot and passionate and unconventional (yet stable) and he loves me unconditionally; and we both, as quickly as it had all happened, decided to go ahead and get married. More saccharine posts regarding love to follow, I promise.
But other things have been happening, too, so I’ll try to keep this up until whenever.