America's finest news and salvage fishery
In case you missed it, the difficult times hounding print journalism has claimed another victim, as The Onion has been sold to Chinese corporation Yu Wan Mei, prominent purveyor of powerful fish-related products. Don't miss any of today's stories, including Potato-Faced Youngster Lauded For Memorizing Primitive 26-Character Alphabet, Nothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families and, in sports, Selfless Jason Kendall Sacrifices Bunt, Self For Good Of Team, Advancement Of Runners.