LOG; (piano instrumental); Da Hai
who; Da Hai
what; grumpy general-chan = human
when; over the course of the past two weeks, culminating tonight around one in the morning.
If Da Hai was completely honest with himself, guarding the Gate was a matter of deep personal conflict. On one hand, it was his duty and he was glad, even compelled, to do it. On the other, it was hours upon hours of time all but wasted as he kept out of sight but with a steady gaze on the Kapellekerk.
Originally he'd thought to keep up with business matters while he minded the Gate, but he found it too distracting to constantly remind himself to check outside while he also looked over contracts, considered columns of numbers and attempted to organise other matters of importance. It wasn't that he couldn't multi-task, it was that both tasks simply required all of his attention.
Or rather, he'd considered both and given the Gate precedence. The Gate was of the utmost importance. He'd failed this Gate, this city, and his Order once already, and he had no intention to do so again. He'd had to become entirely ruthless, as cold and sharp as steel, to gain what he had now: two Sigils, and a Gate partway to mended.
A little less than halfway there, and six months after it had all began.
He spent his vigilant hours thinking, instead. He could find nothing better to do with his time. And he thought, first, of how well Brussels was faring in comparison to other cities - could he class it as being further along, average, or falling behind? Surely not the latter, he decided firmly; two Sigils was worth more than that. The vital piece of the Gate had been stolen, but regained, and now it was only a matter of time before they had a full Gate once more.
He thought, in time, of the people he'd met because of this war. Mild acquaintances, names in passing... friends. He wondered (in the dead of night when he allowed himself the slightest free rein to consider things, things he'd never allow himself to touch in broad daylight) if it was wise to class them in that matter, knowing they were all involved in a war.
People died in wars. His people had. Kale, in the first skirmish with the Black Order. Lena, by some accident on the part of that same Black Order. Kari, at his own hand. Soldiers, his people. Those who respected him. But some... friends. People he knew he would truly mourn the loss of, no matter that no one else would see it.
Gaige. Alexis. Odette and Aleksandr, even. Any Soldier of his who truly gave their all to the cause, no matter that he did not give praise generously.
They were names he did not want to see blotted from the record, attached to faces he knew he would not forget.
He had a long memory. He knew. In those long hours alone, he permitted himself to feel what duty and the world required he did not.
And he thought, in the end, that the person who started this war would not have been able to finish it. He accepted that as the world moved towards changing, so did the people moving it.
A General, guarding his Gate. This was how his life had value.
what; grumpy general-chan = human
when; over the course of the past two weeks, culminating tonight around one in the morning.
If Da Hai was completely honest with himself, guarding the Gate was a matter of deep personal conflict. On one hand, it was his duty and he was glad, even compelled, to do it. On the other, it was hours upon hours of time all but wasted as he kept out of sight but with a steady gaze on the Kapellekerk.
Originally he'd thought to keep up with business matters while he minded the Gate, but he found it too distracting to constantly remind himself to check outside while he also looked over contracts, considered columns of numbers and attempted to organise other matters of importance. It wasn't that he couldn't multi-task, it was that both tasks simply required all of his attention.
Or rather, he'd considered both and given the Gate precedence. The Gate was of the utmost importance. He'd failed this Gate, this city, and his Order once already, and he had no intention to do so again. He'd had to become entirely ruthless, as cold and sharp as steel, to gain what he had now: two Sigils, and a Gate partway to mended.
A little less than halfway there, and six months after it had all began.
He spent his vigilant hours thinking, instead. He could find nothing better to do with his time. And he thought, first, of how well Brussels was faring in comparison to other cities - could he class it as being further along, average, or falling behind? Surely not the latter, he decided firmly; two Sigils was worth more than that. The vital piece of the Gate had been stolen, but regained, and now it was only a matter of time before they had a full Gate once more.
He thought, in time, of the people he'd met because of this war. Mild acquaintances, names in passing... friends. He wondered (in the dead of night when he allowed himself the slightest free rein to consider things, things he'd never allow himself to touch in broad daylight) if it was wise to class them in that matter, knowing they were all involved in a war.
People died in wars. His people had. Kale, in the first skirmish with the Black Order. Lena, by some accident on the part of that same Black Order. Kari, at his own hand. Soldiers, his people. Those who respected him. But some... friends. People he knew he would truly mourn the loss of, no matter that no one else would see it.
Gaige. Alexis. Odette and Aleksandr, even. Any Soldier of his who truly gave their all to the cause, no matter that he did not give praise generously.
They were names he did not want to see blotted from the record, attached to faces he knew he would not forget.
He had a long memory. He knew. In those long hours alone, he permitted himself to feel what duty and the world required he did not.
And he thought, in the end, that the person who started this war would not have been able to finish it. He accepted that as the world moved towards changing, so did the people moving it.
A General, guarding his Gate. This was how his life had value.