(no subject)
Who: Surrender, Ian, Natalia
What: Natalia catches Surrender an Ian!
Where: Surrender's house
When: Wednesday evening.
Warnings: A little swearing, men with unnaturally large thighs
Leaving Natalia alone at her house had been a terrible idea, Surrender could just feel it. It wasn't a sixth sense or anything interesting like that. You'd just have to be an idiot to think that it was a good idea to leave Natalia alone in your home, even if you were her older sister. Unfortunately for Surrender, she hadn't really had a choice in the matter. When the gallery director had called her telling her one of her boards was cracking because of the mounting on it, she was forced to beat it down to the gallery double time to run damage control.
She had panicked a little bit, of course. Ian was supposed to be coming over that afternoon, and while he was coming over for the specific purpose of meeting Natalia, no one should be subjected to meeting the girl alone. So she'd fretted, and worried as she sped down the Paris streets to the current gallery where her work was in the process of being displayed.
One can imagine her irritation when the supposed 'crack' had been a small spiderweb crack in the paint on one of her boards that she'd placed there quite on purpose when actually creating the work of art. Surrender imagined that it had just been a clever scheme to get her into the gallery to arrange things before Wednesday, which was the day that had been agreed upon, but clearly it didn't work, as she had left only moments later to speed home, miffed and worried.
She pulled into the drive of her home at a speed that was less than advisable then attempted to bolt toward her front door, tripping over her seat belt in her haste. This drew looks of amused concern from her neighbor who had previously been preening his hedge calmly, but Surrender stood up in the most regal manner she could manage, as if nothing had happened and walked calmly out of his view before taking off again at full speed.
When Surrender exploded into her house she looked around the entry way in a manner that suggested there were armed men in her house, ready to leap out at her at any moment, but she froze with the door open still, listening. This was good...there was no screaming, she heard no crashing, and she smelled no smoke. In fact, the only sound she heard was that of the TV playing one of Natalia's favorite movies, "Manos" The Hands of Fate, which was easily one of the most terrible movies ever made but it was entertaining in its own way.
Surrender relaxed visibly and closed the door calmly behind her, a small, self-satisfied smile spreading across her features. Maybe she would take Natalia out for ice cream later as a reward for being so good, or buy her a couple of cans of tuna for not--- her thought process ground to a forceful stop as she entered the entertainment room. There on the floor before her was a scene that caused her such distress that she wasn't even able to utter sound for a few moments. Natalia really was watching her movie, of course, and very calmly as well. Unfortunately, she was perched directly on top of a very familiar figure. A familiar figure who was hog tied by his wrists and feet, gagged, and being forced to look at the screen. The bound, gagged figure that was currently serving as Natalia's perch.... was Ian.
"Oh.....my......god," Surrender said slowly, trying to pull herself out of her horrified shock in time to actually react to the situation before Natalia bolted. There was another short pause before, "NATALIA!!!" burst forth from her as anger took the place of her previous shock.
The first thing, dear reader, that you must do to properly understand the situation at hand is to go back to just before Surrender's arrival. Enter one Natalia Hamilton, hell raiser extraordinaire, who was sitting as patiently as she could waiting for her sister to return. She padded around the house on all fours in search of her favorite movie, Manos: The Hands of Fate. Preparing the movie to watch on the television, she debated to make something to eat. She wanted something crazy, but there wasn't enough celery or--
Knock, knock! The sound of someone at the door startled Natalia as she bounded back to the door and opened it hastily. "Who are you," she asked, pointing a finger at the figure standing in front of her. In an instant, she dropped her hand and crossed her arms in a huff, stomping her feet a few times, "YOU AREN'T ANSWERING FAST ENOUGH!"
Ian blinked a few times in shock as Natalia went through her range of angry emotions. "Hey, Natalia, right? Is your sister around?" He poked his head into the house.
"YOU AREN'T ALLOWED IN," Natalia shouted as she took Ian by the arm, kicking him down and dragged him into the middle of the living room, pulling out the rope she kept tied around her waist. Ian, completely flabbergasted, only just went along for ride. "This is your punishment! Do you like movies," she asked as she started to hog tie him.
"I, uh, yeah?" Ian just looked up at her with a look of complete confusion. What the hell was going on? He had just stopped by and he wasn't even expecting to see her sister. What a way to meet her. While Ian was sitting and thinking, Natalia went and restarted Manos: The Hands of Fate. "You're going to love it," she said as she climbed onto his stomach and sat down as best as she could.
They sat in silence as they watched the movie, except for a few comments made by Natalia and the occasional chuckle from Ian. Every time Ian attempted to ask Natalia about Surrender's return, she told him to shut up and covered his mouth with her hand. He continued to struggle, to which she only remedied by getting up and gagging him with one of the scarves Surrender had in the entryway.
Surrender's first instinct upon seeing Natalia bolt into another room was to follow her, pulling something that could be used as a weapon off of a shelf as she went. In fact, she actually started doing just that before she remembered the fact that Ian was on her livingroom floor bound and gagged.
She skidded to a stop and looked back at Ian in a frustrated manner before turning and yelling into the other room, "You are SO LUCKY I have to untie him right now, you little monster!"
She made a sound of intense rage before spinning back around toward Ian, her face shifting suddenly into one of horrified concern.
"Oh my god, Ian.." was all she could really manage to utter before she dropped to the floor. Checking Natalia's knots was kind of a pointless activity. Surrender knew this. When Natalia hogtied someone it was for keeps, but she checked them anyway. Dear God, how had she been stupid enough to invite him over when Natalia was around? She had to have been insane! The poor guy was never going to visit again!
She shook her head, her horror still apparent on her face, "Oh god, Ian, I'm so sorry. I'll get you out of this. I'm so sorry," She said, reaching around to untie his makeshift gag. She didn't usually gag them. Natalia must have really liked him. And to put him in front of that horrible movie. God in heaven!
After removing his gag she pulled her pocket knife out of the back pocket of her jeans. Some of her country girl habits died hard, and in situations like this she was glad of it. Carefully and quickly she sliced through the rope holding his hands and feet together then sat back, staring at him. What to do now? He was free. What was she supposed to say to him? She was sorry that her sister was a psycho-freak crossed with a gorilla?
Well, she had to say something! So she did so...well, she attempted to. It came out a bunch of stuttered half-phrases, most of which included profuse apologies. When she realized she was making so little sense she was quiet again, her face growing a little pink. Very suddenly she stood up.
"I'll be right back, I'll be-- Just...please don't go anywhere. I swear I'll-- Just.. please don't leave," she said, holding out her hands in a worried sort of 'stay' motion before turning around and bolting into the other room, grabbing a book end as she went.
Ignoring the fact that witnessing the wars that went on between the two sisters would probably freak Ian out more she yelled "NATALIA" in her angriest possible tone. After all, he'd just been hogtied by a 14 year old hooligan, all of the other weird stuff just counted as small details.
"NATALIA! Come out RIGHT NOW or you get THREE BATHS NEXT WEEK!"
Ian looked up at Surrender, unable to speak. Honestly, the whole ordeal was mostly amusing, looking back on it. If anyone thought otherwise, they were just stiffs and Ian was most certainly not a stiff! Thankfully, he had learned at an early age to just relax and completely spazzing out was never the answer. With a small nod of his head, he smiled the best he could as Surrender ran around before she started to untie him. Was that a pocket knife? What was up with this family? So weird. Man, he would have a ton of stories to tell Gabe when he had a free moment.
When he was freed, he sat indian style on the floor and just smiled again, leaning back on his hands as she took off. It was obvious that he wasn't going to go anywhere. Why would he? He knew Natalia was a bundle of energy, so it was okay. He mentally told himself to reassure Surrender when she came back. ...and was that a book end? Ian knew better than to ask questions.
So far knowing the Hamilton family had only been very entertaining, to say the least.
Natalia, on the other hand, had crawled under Surrender's bed and swore to herself that she wasn't going to make a sound until she knew that they both were gone. Granted, this wouldn't ever happen and when she heard Surrender and Surrender's threat, Natalia poked her head out from under the bed. "NO SOAP," she shouted in retaliation. She pulled herself out the rest of the way and put on her best pout. It rarely worked with Surrender, but she was hoping for it to this time. "...I didn't mean to make you upset. I just caught you an Ian. I thought you liked him."
"WITH SOAP!" she said angrily, preparing to whack her little sister over the head with the book end. It seemed violent, and really, it was... but Natalia could handle it and it had been this way between them for as long as they could remember.
The pout never worked for Surrender but Natalia's next words were so genuinely... if not contrite, than at least a little uncomfortable, that Surrender just couldn't hit her.
She lowered the book end and sighed in an exasperated manner.
"I do like him, Natalia," She said, not really remembering that Ian was in earshot. "And I know that this just means you like him and that you were trying to do me a favor, but you're killing me, here. He's probably never going to come over again because he gets assaulted here! People don't understand that it's a good thing, and I've told you that. I know you have a hard time remembering but, honey, you have to try."
Surrender took Natalia's chin in her hand to force her to look at her, but she'd set down the book end.
"Okay?"
Natalia looked at Surrender as she spoke, wondering if Ian had left. She hadn't heard the door close, so she only assumed that Ian was still in the house, or was AWESOME AND HAD CLIMBED OUT THE WINDOW. She nodded, signifying that she understood and while she looked a little dejected, she was honestly too amused by the fact that Ian could possibly be a ninja or some sort of secret agent. Not wanting to be proven wrong, Natalia only started to fidget, in hopes they could go back out into the living area.
"Are you going to get married to him," she asked as she rocked back and forth. "And have pretty babies?" She paused for a few seconds before adding, "And no soap... please?"
Surrender could feel herself blushing a little at her little sister's question, but she knew the girl didn't know any better... or rather, she DID know better, she was just a freak and it didn't register. Surrender shifted a little, "Uhm... I'm not sure yet, Natalia. I.... I'll tell you when... I know for sure, alright?" Her face was hot. Dammit, that was embarrassing. Natalia's plea about the soap made her smile a little, though, forgetting her embarrassment for a moment. "You DO have to take a bath tomorrow, Natalia.... but I won't make you use soap this time. And you can take Charlie with you too," she said. Charlie referred to a squeaky dog toy in the shape of a Piranha that Natalia had. It was her favorite bath toy.
"Now, I'm going to go in and I'm going to talk to Ian for a few minutes. If he's okay we might watch the rest of Manos with you, but you have to be GOOD!" She then scratched Natalia behind the ear, picked up her book end, and walked back into the room in which she'd left Ian, praying he hadn't left. When she didn't see him she looked crestfallen. Ah, well, she shouldn't have expected him to stay. The man had just been HOGTIED by a fourteen year old crazy girl. She would have left too. That didn't keep her from feeling intensely disappointed by the fact. She'd liked him too, but even if guys she met could get past her usual tendencies, they never lasted past meeting Natalia. It was just the way of things.
Surrender put her bookend back in its place and heard a strange clicking sound coming from outside her bedroom window. She turned around. "NATALIA IF YOU START THAT LAWNMOWER I WILL BEAT YOU SO HARD THEY'LL START LETTING YOU INTO MY THURSDAY CLASSES, DO YOU HEAR ME?!" she yelled through the doorway then turned around, cursing softly under her breath. Chimpanzee. Her donor HAD to be a chimpan-
It was then that she saw Ian laying on the floor near the television. Her heart shot up into her mouth and she scrambled in his direction, dropping to her knees and sliding the last bit of distance to him. She put her hands on his shoulder and chest before she could choke out a "SHIT! Did she hurt you?! SHIT SHIT! Ian, are you okay? Are you dead!?" It wouldn't strike her until later on that night, how ridiculous the last part of her question had been.
Ian wasn't really trying to hide from Surrender, or even frighten her, so when she started to panic, he realized that he had two choices. The first would be to shoot up and freak out too. The other would be to just casually sit up and make a joke. He continued to lay on the floor and internally debated this decision for a few more seconds. Cracking a small smile, he finally decided what he was going to do.
He opened an eye lazily. "I'm not sure if I'm dead yet. I hope I'd get more warning," Ian said as he sat up. "Or at least a few more years. And that it wouldn't be by the hands of a fourteen year old girl." He grinned as he ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stick out in random, but cute, places. He glanced up at the TV that displayed a disturbing face. "I should've waited a few more seconds before pausing the movie. That dude is freaking weird. Torgo or whatever. Did they put watermelons in his pants or something? Serious." His gaze turned back to Surrender and the smile on his face had turned into more of a grin. "Everything cool?"
Truth be told, he had heard everything, but he wasn't really fazed. There was a slight tint to his cheeks from immediately after Natalia had suggested marriage, but thankfully enough time had passed that it wasn't all that noticeable. He only hoped that Surrender was still a little confused and shaken up enough that she wouldn't notice.
It took Surrender a few moments to realize how silly her freak out had been but Natalia hurting someone on accident really wasn't that much of a stretch!
She wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh, or to cry, but what she ended up doing was sitting there looking at him as if her mind had stopped working for a few moments. After he'd spoken, she'd meant to say something calm and funny but his question of 'Everything cool' threw her back into apology mode.
"I'm SO SORRY, Ian! So sorry! It meant she likes you, I swear to you it does. She's just... crossed with a chimpanzee or something similar, and my grandfather had the BRILLIANT idea to teach her to hogtie, and even though he swears that he did it so she could help at brandings we ALL know better, and I could just-- I'm sorry. She really doesn't mean anything bad by it...." Surrender managed to stop the flow of her apologies very abruptly.
She was usually a very controlled young woman but when it came to Natalia, especially involving Natalia assaulting a guy she liked, it was a little more difficult to control herself than usual. After realizing she was babbling she took a deep breath and just looked at him for another moment or two, not realizing that she was still holding on to his shoulders as if he was injured or dying.
"Thighmaster," she said finally.
Was she seriously freaking out like that? Why? Thought after thought ran through his head. She didn't need to be like this. Was there any way that he could get her to stop?
Ian looked down at her hands as she grasped onto his shoulders and just smiled a little bit. He tried to hold back the laughter, but couldn't. Everything that had happened the past few days was just something straight out of a crazy manga or something. He couldn't quite believe it, but it was indeed happening. He placed his hands on top of her, still laughing.
"That... That hurts a bit, Surrender," he managed to get out between bouts of laughter as he squeezed her shoulders gently. And as she gave him her reply to his question, he suddenly stopped laughing, remembering a hilarious moment from the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of Manos: The Hands of Fate. Moving his hand up her shoulder and to her neck, his mouth formed a cocky grin as he spoke. "The it-sy bi-tsy- spi-der..."
It didn't really strike Surrender that he was actually laughing until he paused in his laughter at her comment about the thighmaster. It was then that the fact that he had also spoken registered and she let go of his shoulders as if she'd been burned by them. Unsure what to do next, as laughter was an even more unusual reaction to something like this than bolting for the hills immediately, Surrender just sat there with her hands hovering about an inch above where they'd previously rested on his shoulders.
If the laughter hadn't startled her (which it had), the Itsy bitsy spider thing sure as hell did. Not only that...but it tickled... a lot. She made an uncomfortable sound and wiggled away from his hand, batting at it. "Creepy! CREEPY, Torgo!" she said before bursting into laughter. This wasn't at all how she'd pictured the night going, not even a little, but Ian was laughing. He was laughing, not running away, and he was joking with her. As weird as it was, she didn't see any harm with just going with it. Mama had always told her that stressing caused wrinkles, after all. At least that's the reason she was giving herself for her continued laughter. In reality there was just something about the situation and the fact that Ian was still there, that he wasn't freaking out, that he wasn't reacting like the others, that relieved her. So much so that laughter was really the only reaction she could justify. That and holding her hand against Ian's wrist to keep it a suitable distance from being creepy in a terrifyingly accurate Torgo manner against her skin, the other hand still floating, completely forgotten, about an inch above Ian's shoulder.
Seeing Surrender relax was probably the best win situation for Ian. He had no problem making a fool out of himself or doing something that would break the awkward silence. Granted, there probably were a lot of better things for him to do, but the spider was the only thing that came to mind at the time.
Ian had never really been the type to just act on impulse. Well, that was a lie; there had been plenty of things that he had done that were a bit out there, even for him. But the situation just seemed right, didn't it? And Surrender's outburst of laughter reassured him that things were okay. It was weird.
Ian wasn't used to actually liking girls like this. Well, he was, but this was different. He was a big flirt and wasn't ashamed, but the past few days had given him a reality check of sorts. God only knows what kind of face he was making while all these thoughts were going through his head, but before either of them could register anything being awkward, he moved their hands away as he leaned forward to give her a quick kiss on the lips. Nothing too crazy or wild, and something that he could've even blamed on how he was sitting or where her hands were and it caused him to lean forward and by ~magic~ their lips touched. He was fully prepared with excuses on hand.
Shock. Surrender's laughter stopped abruptly and her sudden silence seemed even louder than the previous sound of her laughter. Had he... had he... Had he just... No. There was no way, was there? It had to have been an accident, right? He had to have just..... touched her lips with his at .....random, right? He couldn't have really, after all that had just happened to him, wanted to kiss her.... or maybe that's why it had been so short. Maybe he was nervous now. But he didn't seem like the type to get nervous. She wouldn't have minded, though, if that's what he'd been wanting to do but... he hadn't meant to, she was sure of it... or was she.
Either way she just sat there. She sat there staring intently at Ian as if he'd just grown a third eye, or maybe he'd just made a strange sound out of his ear. In reality thoughts were going through her head at a million miles a second, but it was a look that could be easily taken the wrong way.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! Was the only thing going through Ian's mind. "Shit," he stammered as he sat back, running a hand through his hair again. "I," he paused for a bit before adding again. "Shit. Not I shit. I mean. I. I'm. Sorry." He turned his head to the door and without even moving his gaze back to her, "Did you want me to go? I can go. Sorry."
Surrender was so startled by Ian's outburst that she actually felt herself jump. What? What was wrong now? Did he regret it? Was he upset with himself? He seemed really embarrassed. Embarrassed enough to tell her he shit on accident, when really there was no shitting occurring. Wait...why the hell was she thinking about shitting in any case? He was asking if she wanted him to leave. Why would she want him to leave. He'd just kissed her! Wasn't that good?
The entire thought process took place in Surrender's mind with her just sitting there with a look of mild curiosity on her face until the last thought entered her mind. She didn't want him to leave, though. No. So what should she do? Should she tell him she didn't want him to go? Would he believe her? Would he just think she was being polite by telling him to stay?
Probably. He seemed like he was like that. Then how could she-
"No, I--"
Surrender wasn't a particularly spontaneous person in a lot of cases. She thought things through, in most situations, unless it was demanded that she make a decision right then, and this was one of those situations.
Deciding only after a moment's thought, Surrender leaned forward and set her hand on his shoulder. Oh god how long had it been since she'd done anything like this. So long. She was embarrassingly out of practice. So embarrassingly out of practice that she wasn't sure if she was even being rude.
Well, as it was, she couldn't get any more rude than Natalia had been, and with that reasoning in mind she plunged forward with plan. She put her hand against his jaw to turn his head back to her and took a deep breath. Oh dear God was she chickening out? Shit, she may have been.
"I don't.... really want you to go," she said with every bit of genuine tone she could muster, looking at him directly in the eyes to drive the idea home.
Nice, Surrender. Way to choke. Ah, well, she thought. There was always another time.
Ian turned to look at Surrender again when he felt the contact of the hand on the shoulder. It was when she spoke that he relaxed again and smiled. "Good, don't worry a man with that kinda thing. Okay? S'not good business." He rested his hand on top of hers that was on his shoulder and squeezed it a bit.
The hand on the side of his face caused Ian's eyes to widen a bit. Not that he would be unwelcoming to whatever was to come, but he was just surprised. Why? Who really knew, but it wasn't anything that he was really expecting. There was this fine woman sitting in front of him and he had jumped the gun with giving her the quick kiss. But she wasn't angry. And she kind of looked like she wanted to kiss him, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions because that wasn't his style. Then his mind briefly jumped to the realization that Natalia was somewhere in the general vicinity so that was probably why or maybe he was a bad kisser. But no one had told him that. In fact, he had heard the opposite.
Maybe they were all lying to him. Oh god, his ego. His poor, precious ego.
He sat there for a few seconds more before adding, "The master likes you."
Surrender was sure she looked startled when Ian told her not to worry a guy like that. Had she worried him? Had she made him think she wanted him to leave? She didn't remember doing that. People were so confusing. She certainly didn't want him to leave, in fact, she was still at this point trying to work up the courage to kiss him. But she thought it might be awkward now. He didn't really seem like he wanted to anymore.
Why was she even worrying about that? Surrender rarely worried about that sort of thing. She was, again, acting like a 17 year old girl who had never kissed a boy in her life. What was it about Ian that reverted her back into something absolutely ridiculous? Surrender had no idea but she was beginning to get irritated with herself.
Before she could really gather herself enough to apologize for making him feel like she wanted him to leave he quoted Manos again, causing her to laugh.
"He wants you for his wife. The master loves beautiful women~" she said in her best 'smooth Torgo' voice then moved in closer and glared, "But he can't have you. I WANT YOU! He can't have you!"
She moved in a little closer with her patented Surrender FIERCE FACE (which in reality probably couldn't scare a rabbit with blood sugar problems but nothing else), before laughing again and moving to sit next to him rather than more or less on top of him.
Still chuckling she leaned against the table behind them comfortable and tried her best not to look back at him for at least a few moments. She really wanted to do something. Take his hand, maybe, maybe lean against his arm. Touch his neck again?
"I'm sorry," She said in a distracted sort of manner, mentally scolding herself to concentrate on what she was saying rather than her libido for a second. "If I made you think that I wanted you to leave, that is. I'm not into bad busi-"
Oh, for crying out loud. This was enough. She had just realized that she didn't care how awkward a moment it was. With a quick glance up at the doorway to make sure that Natalia was still outside examining the lawnmower longingly rather than RIGHT THERE WATCHING, Surrender sat forward again, making a small sound of frustration. She turned around and brought her hands to the back of his neck all in one fairly graceful motion. Nice, Suri, she commended herself before giving Ian a very small grin then leaning forward and setting her lips against his. As easy as it was to mistake Ian's kiss as an accident one would have to take Surrender's Thursday classes to mistake this one for anything resembling unintentional. She wasn't sure what she was expecting from him but she did have a moment of pause as she waited to see if he was going to freak over it. Why he would have freaked? Well it had been an emotionally trying night.... well, that's why she told herself she was worried he was going to freak. The real reasons? Well she was good at fooling herself. They didn't matter.
Still thrown, but amused, by Surrender's Torgo impression, Ian was completely in shock when she kissed him. WHAT DO I DO, he thought (and yes, the thought is best displayed in all caps). Oh, dear reader, we have a poor confused soul on our hands. Ian was almost frozen, but he realized and realized quickly that for this to work you normally have to kiss back, right? That would be the best course of action, given the situation. He couldn't decide which was better - the smooth way she leaned into the kiss or the kiss itself. Regardless, he kissed her back and was inwardly amused, mostly because of the thoughts of what he was going to do when the kiss was finally broken.
Awkward moment was awkward as the kiss continued. It wasn't the kiss itself that was awkward, but more the fact that it was all happening and happening somewhat fast. Sure, Ian loved the ladies and he frequently kissed girls, even after just meeting them. But, as said before, it was different this time.
After a while, Ian pulled away and planted gentle kisses until he reached Surrender's ear. Even though she couldn't see his face, the smug smirk on his face was obvious as he spoke quietly into her ear, "The Master would not approve."
Oddly, Surrender was perfectly okay with the awkward way in which the kiss had happened. It was already awkward. The whole situation with the random kiss of Ian's had been one of the more awkward moments she'd experienced. She saw nothing wrong with at least taking advantage of the awkwardness. Of course, she hadn't expected to get so into it that she'd more or less crawled into his lap but really she was okay with that too.
Surrender felt herself becoming disappointed when Ian finally pulled away but scolded herself internally. No,no, Surrender THAT needed to happen. No feeling disappointed over something like that.... but her disappointment disintegrated abruptly as he ran kisses up her jaw. Were those goosebumps? probably........ alright, definitely.
What he whispered in her ear caused her to snerk loudly with shocked amusement. NOT exactly what she'd been expecting to hear. She pretended she hadn't just made a relatively embarrassing sound with her throat/nasal passage and leaned back, her eyebrows knit in frustration, but resting one of her arms over his shoulder in a relaxed manner. "But...the master has six wives. Why can't I have one for myself?" she asked in a dejected manner.
With that she leaned forward a little again, looking as if she was about to kiss him again but paused, breathed in then opened her eyes and smiled at him before turning and rolling to the side and sitting comfortably next to him, leaned against the table behind them and looking pleased with herself in a relaxed sort of way.
What: Natalia catches Surrender an Ian!
Where: Surrender's house
When: Wednesday evening.
Warnings: A little swearing, men with unnaturally large thighs
Leaving Natalia alone at her house had been a terrible idea, Surrender could just feel it. It wasn't a sixth sense or anything interesting like that. You'd just have to be an idiot to think that it was a good idea to leave Natalia alone in your home, even if you were her older sister. Unfortunately for Surrender, she hadn't really had a choice in the matter. When the gallery director had called her telling her one of her boards was cracking because of the mounting on it, she was forced to beat it down to the gallery double time to run damage control.
She had panicked a little bit, of course. Ian was supposed to be coming over that afternoon, and while he was coming over for the specific purpose of meeting Natalia, no one should be subjected to meeting the girl alone. So she'd fretted, and worried as she sped down the Paris streets to the current gallery where her work was in the process of being displayed.
One can imagine her irritation when the supposed 'crack' had been a small spiderweb crack in the paint on one of her boards that she'd placed there quite on purpose when actually creating the work of art. Surrender imagined that it had just been a clever scheme to get her into the gallery to arrange things before Wednesday, which was the day that had been agreed upon, but clearly it didn't work, as she had left only moments later to speed home, miffed and worried.
She pulled into the drive of her home at a speed that was less than advisable then attempted to bolt toward her front door, tripping over her seat belt in her haste. This drew looks of amused concern from her neighbor who had previously been preening his hedge calmly, but Surrender stood up in the most regal manner she could manage, as if nothing had happened and walked calmly out of his view before taking off again at full speed.
When Surrender exploded into her house she looked around the entry way in a manner that suggested there were armed men in her house, ready to leap out at her at any moment, but she froze with the door open still, listening. This was good...there was no screaming, she heard no crashing, and she smelled no smoke. In fact, the only sound she heard was that of the TV playing one of Natalia's favorite movies, "Manos" The Hands of Fate, which was easily one of the most terrible movies ever made but it was entertaining in its own way.
Surrender relaxed visibly and closed the door calmly behind her, a small, self-satisfied smile spreading across her features. Maybe she would take Natalia out for ice cream later as a reward for being so good, or buy her a couple of cans of tuna for not--- her thought process ground to a forceful stop as she entered the entertainment room. There on the floor before her was a scene that caused her such distress that she wasn't even able to utter sound for a few moments. Natalia really was watching her movie, of course, and very calmly as well. Unfortunately, she was perched directly on top of a very familiar figure. A familiar figure who was hog tied by his wrists and feet, gagged, and being forced to look at the screen. The bound, gagged figure that was currently serving as Natalia's perch.... was Ian.
"Oh.....my......god," Surrender said slowly, trying to pull herself out of her horrified shock in time to actually react to the situation before Natalia bolted. There was another short pause before, "NATALIA!!!" burst forth from her as anger took the place of her previous shock.
The first thing, dear reader, that you must do to properly understand the situation at hand is to go back to just before Surrender's arrival. Enter one Natalia Hamilton, hell raiser extraordinaire, who was sitting as patiently as she could waiting for her sister to return. She padded around the house on all fours in search of her favorite movie, Manos: The Hands of Fate. Preparing the movie to watch on the television, she debated to make something to eat. She wanted something crazy, but there wasn't enough celery or--
Knock, knock! The sound of someone at the door startled Natalia as she bounded back to the door and opened it hastily. "Who are you," she asked, pointing a finger at the figure standing in front of her. In an instant, she dropped her hand and crossed her arms in a huff, stomping her feet a few times, "YOU AREN'T ANSWERING FAST ENOUGH!"
Ian blinked a few times in shock as Natalia went through her range of angry emotions. "Hey, Natalia, right? Is your sister around?" He poked his head into the house.
"YOU AREN'T ALLOWED IN," Natalia shouted as she took Ian by the arm, kicking him down and dragged him into the middle of the living room, pulling out the rope she kept tied around her waist. Ian, completely flabbergasted, only just went along for ride. "This is your punishment! Do you like movies," she asked as she started to hog tie him.
"I, uh, yeah?" Ian just looked up at her with a look of complete confusion. What the hell was going on? He had just stopped by and he wasn't even expecting to see her sister. What a way to meet her. While Ian was sitting and thinking, Natalia went and restarted Manos: The Hands of Fate. "You're going to love it," she said as she climbed onto his stomach and sat down as best as she could.
They sat in silence as they watched the movie, except for a few comments made by Natalia and the occasional chuckle from Ian. Every time Ian attempted to ask Natalia about Surrender's return, she told him to shut up and covered his mouth with her hand. He continued to struggle, to which she only remedied by getting up and gagging him with one of the scarves Surrender had in the entryway.
Surrender's first instinct upon seeing Natalia bolt into another room was to follow her, pulling something that could be used as a weapon off of a shelf as she went. In fact, she actually started doing just that before she remembered the fact that Ian was on her livingroom floor bound and gagged.
She skidded to a stop and looked back at Ian in a frustrated manner before turning and yelling into the other room, "You are SO LUCKY I have to untie him right now, you little monster!"
She made a sound of intense rage before spinning back around toward Ian, her face shifting suddenly into one of horrified concern.
"Oh my god, Ian.." was all she could really manage to utter before she dropped to the floor. Checking Natalia's knots was kind of a pointless activity. Surrender knew this. When Natalia hogtied someone it was for keeps, but she checked them anyway. Dear God, how had she been stupid enough to invite him over when Natalia was around? She had to have been insane! The poor guy was never going to visit again!
She shook her head, her horror still apparent on her face, "Oh god, Ian, I'm so sorry. I'll get you out of this. I'm so sorry," She said, reaching around to untie his makeshift gag. She didn't usually gag them. Natalia must have really liked him. And to put him in front of that horrible movie. God in heaven!
After removing his gag she pulled her pocket knife out of the back pocket of her jeans. Some of her country girl habits died hard, and in situations like this she was glad of it. Carefully and quickly she sliced through the rope holding his hands and feet together then sat back, staring at him. What to do now? He was free. What was she supposed to say to him? She was sorry that her sister was a psycho-freak crossed with a gorilla?
Well, she had to say something! So she did so...well, she attempted to. It came out a bunch of stuttered half-phrases, most of which included profuse apologies. When she realized she was making so little sense she was quiet again, her face growing a little pink. Very suddenly she stood up.
"I'll be right back, I'll be-- Just...please don't go anywhere. I swear I'll-- Just.. please don't leave," she said, holding out her hands in a worried sort of 'stay' motion before turning around and bolting into the other room, grabbing a book end as she went.
Ignoring the fact that witnessing the wars that went on between the two sisters would probably freak Ian out more she yelled "NATALIA" in her angriest possible tone. After all, he'd just been hogtied by a 14 year old hooligan, all of the other weird stuff just counted as small details.
"NATALIA! Come out RIGHT NOW or you get THREE BATHS NEXT WEEK!"
Ian looked up at Surrender, unable to speak. Honestly, the whole ordeal was mostly amusing, looking back on it. If anyone thought otherwise, they were just stiffs and Ian was most certainly not a stiff! Thankfully, he had learned at an early age to just relax and completely spazzing out was never the answer. With a small nod of his head, he smiled the best he could as Surrender ran around before she started to untie him. Was that a pocket knife? What was up with this family? So weird. Man, he would have a ton of stories to tell Gabe when he had a free moment.
When he was freed, he sat indian style on the floor and just smiled again, leaning back on his hands as she took off. It was obvious that he wasn't going to go anywhere. Why would he? He knew Natalia was a bundle of energy, so it was okay. He mentally told himself to reassure Surrender when she came back. ...and was that a book end? Ian knew better than to ask questions.
So far knowing the Hamilton family had only been very entertaining, to say the least.
Natalia, on the other hand, had crawled under Surrender's bed and swore to herself that she wasn't going to make a sound until she knew that they both were gone. Granted, this wouldn't ever happen and when she heard Surrender and Surrender's threat, Natalia poked her head out from under the bed. "NO SOAP," she shouted in retaliation. She pulled herself out the rest of the way and put on her best pout. It rarely worked with Surrender, but she was hoping for it to this time. "...I didn't mean to make you upset. I just caught you an Ian. I thought you liked him."
"WITH SOAP!" she said angrily, preparing to whack her little sister over the head with the book end. It seemed violent, and really, it was... but Natalia could handle it and it had been this way between them for as long as they could remember.
The pout never worked for Surrender but Natalia's next words were so genuinely... if not contrite, than at least a little uncomfortable, that Surrender just couldn't hit her.
She lowered the book end and sighed in an exasperated manner.
"I do like him, Natalia," She said, not really remembering that Ian was in earshot. "And I know that this just means you like him and that you were trying to do me a favor, but you're killing me, here. He's probably never going to come over again because he gets assaulted here! People don't understand that it's a good thing, and I've told you that. I know you have a hard time remembering but, honey, you have to try."
Surrender took Natalia's chin in her hand to force her to look at her, but she'd set down the book end.
"Okay?"
Natalia looked at Surrender as she spoke, wondering if Ian had left. She hadn't heard the door close, so she only assumed that Ian was still in the house, or was AWESOME AND HAD CLIMBED OUT THE WINDOW. She nodded, signifying that she understood and while she looked a little dejected, she was honestly too amused by the fact that Ian could possibly be a ninja or some sort of secret agent. Not wanting to be proven wrong, Natalia only started to fidget, in hopes they could go back out into the living area.
"Are you going to get married to him," she asked as she rocked back and forth. "And have pretty babies?" She paused for a few seconds before adding, "And no soap... please?"
Surrender could feel herself blushing a little at her little sister's question, but she knew the girl didn't know any better... or rather, she DID know better, she was just a freak and it didn't register. Surrender shifted a little, "Uhm... I'm not sure yet, Natalia. I.... I'll tell you when... I know for sure, alright?" Her face was hot. Dammit, that was embarrassing. Natalia's plea about the soap made her smile a little, though, forgetting her embarrassment for a moment. "You DO have to take a bath tomorrow, Natalia.... but I won't make you use soap this time. And you can take Charlie with you too," she said. Charlie referred to a squeaky dog toy in the shape of a Piranha that Natalia had. It was her favorite bath toy.
"Now, I'm going to go in and I'm going to talk to Ian for a few minutes. If he's okay we might watch the rest of Manos with you, but you have to be GOOD!" She then scratched Natalia behind the ear, picked up her book end, and walked back into the room in which she'd left Ian, praying he hadn't left. When she didn't see him she looked crestfallen. Ah, well, she shouldn't have expected him to stay. The man had just been HOGTIED by a fourteen year old crazy girl. She would have left too. That didn't keep her from feeling intensely disappointed by the fact. She'd liked him too, but even if guys she met could get past her usual tendencies, they never lasted past meeting Natalia. It was just the way of things.
Surrender put her bookend back in its place and heard a strange clicking sound coming from outside her bedroom window. She turned around. "NATALIA IF YOU START THAT LAWNMOWER I WILL BEAT YOU SO HARD THEY'LL START LETTING YOU INTO MY THURSDAY CLASSES, DO YOU HEAR ME?!" she yelled through the doorway then turned around, cursing softly under her breath. Chimpanzee. Her donor HAD to be a chimpan-
It was then that she saw Ian laying on the floor near the television. Her heart shot up into her mouth and she scrambled in his direction, dropping to her knees and sliding the last bit of distance to him. She put her hands on his shoulder and chest before she could choke out a "SHIT! Did she hurt you?! SHIT SHIT! Ian, are you okay? Are you dead!?" It wouldn't strike her until later on that night, how ridiculous the last part of her question had been.
Ian wasn't really trying to hide from Surrender, or even frighten her, so when she started to panic, he realized that he had two choices. The first would be to shoot up and freak out too. The other would be to just casually sit up and make a joke. He continued to lay on the floor and internally debated this decision for a few more seconds. Cracking a small smile, he finally decided what he was going to do.
He opened an eye lazily. "I'm not sure if I'm dead yet. I hope I'd get more warning," Ian said as he sat up. "Or at least a few more years. And that it wouldn't be by the hands of a fourteen year old girl." He grinned as he ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stick out in random, but cute, places. He glanced up at the TV that displayed a disturbing face. "I should've waited a few more seconds before pausing the movie. That dude is freaking weird. Torgo or whatever. Did they put watermelons in his pants or something? Serious." His gaze turned back to Surrender and the smile on his face had turned into more of a grin. "Everything cool?"
Truth be told, he had heard everything, but he wasn't really fazed. There was a slight tint to his cheeks from immediately after Natalia had suggested marriage, but thankfully enough time had passed that it wasn't all that noticeable. He only hoped that Surrender was still a little confused and shaken up enough that she wouldn't notice.
It took Surrender a few moments to realize how silly her freak out had been but Natalia hurting someone on accident really wasn't that much of a stretch!
She wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh, or to cry, but what she ended up doing was sitting there looking at him as if her mind had stopped working for a few moments. After he'd spoken, she'd meant to say something calm and funny but his question of 'Everything cool' threw her back into apology mode.
"I'm SO SORRY, Ian! So sorry! It meant she likes you, I swear to you it does. She's just... crossed with a chimpanzee or something similar, and my grandfather had the BRILLIANT idea to teach her to hogtie, and even though he swears that he did it so she could help at brandings we ALL know better, and I could just-- I'm sorry. She really doesn't mean anything bad by it...." Surrender managed to stop the flow of her apologies very abruptly.
She was usually a very controlled young woman but when it came to Natalia, especially involving Natalia assaulting a guy she liked, it was a little more difficult to control herself than usual. After realizing she was babbling she took a deep breath and just looked at him for another moment or two, not realizing that she was still holding on to his shoulders as if he was injured or dying.
"Thighmaster," she said finally.
Was she seriously freaking out like that? Why? Thought after thought ran through his head. She didn't need to be like this. Was there any way that he could get her to stop?
Ian looked down at her hands as she grasped onto his shoulders and just smiled a little bit. He tried to hold back the laughter, but couldn't. Everything that had happened the past few days was just something straight out of a crazy manga or something. He couldn't quite believe it, but it was indeed happening. He placed his hands on top of her, still laughing.
"That... That hurts a bit, Surrender," he managed to get out between bouts of laughter as he squeezed her shoulders gently. And as she gave him her reply to his question, he suddenly stopped laughing, remembering a hilarious moment from the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of Manos: The Hands of Fate. Moving his hand up her shoulder and to her neck, his mouth formed a cocky grin as he spoke. "The it-sy bi-tsy- spi-der..."
It didn't really strike Surrender that he was actually laughing until he paused in his laughter at her comment about the thighmaster. It was then that the fact that he had also spoken registered and she let go of his shoulders as if she'd been burned by them. Unsure what to do next, as laughter was an even more unusual reaction to something like this than bolting for the hills immediately, Surrender just sat there with her hands hovering about an inch above where they'd previously rested on his shoulders.
If the laughter hadn't startled her (which it had), the Itsy bitsy spider thing sure as hell did. Not only that...but it tickled... a lot. She made an uncomfortable sound and wiggled away from his hand, batting at it. "Creepy! CREEPY, Torgo!" she said before bursting into laughter. This wasn't at all how she'd pictured the night going, not even a little, but Ian was laughing. He was laughing, not running away, and he was joking with her. As weird as it was, she didn't see any harm with just going with it. Mama had always told her that stressing caused wrinkles, after all. At least that's the reason she was giving herself for her continued laughter. In reality there was just something about the situation and the fact that Ian was still there, that he wasn't freaking out, that he wasn't reacting like the others, that relieved her. So much so that laughter was really the only reaction she could justify. That and holding her hand against Ian's wrist to keep it a suitable distance from being creepy in a terrifyingly accurate Torgo manner against her skin, the other hand still floating, completely forgotten, about an inch above Ian's shoulder.
Seeing Surrender relax was probably the best win situation for Ian. He had no problem making a fool out of himself or doing something that would break the awkward silence. Granted, there probably were a lot of better things for him to do, but the spider was the only thing that came to mind at the time.
Ian had never really been the type to just act on impulse. Well, that was a lie; there had been plenty of things that he had done that were a bit out there, even for him. But the situation just seemed right, didn't it? And Surrender's outburst of laughter reassured him that things were okay. It was weird.
Ian wasn't used to actually liking girls like this. Well, he was, but this was different. He was a big flirt and wasn't ashamed, but the past few days had given him a reality check of sorts. God only knows what kind of face he was making while all these thoughts were going through his head, but before either of them could register anything being awkward, he moved their hands away as he leaned forward to give her a quick kiss on the lips. Nothing too crazy or wild, and something that he could've even blamed on how he was sitting or where her hands were and it caused him to lean forward and by ~magic~ their lips touched. He was fully prepared with excuses on hand.
Shock. Surrender's laughter stopped abruptly and her sudden silence seemed even louder than the previous sound of her laughter. Had he... had he... Had he just... No. There was no way, was there? It had to have been an accident, right? He had to have just..... touched her lips with his at .....random, right? He couldn't have really, after all that had just happened to him, wanted to kiss her.... or maybe that's why it had been so short. Maybe he was nervous now. But he didn't seem like the type to get nervous. She wouldn't have minded, though, if that's what he'd been wanting to do but... he hadn't meant to, she was sure of it... or was she.
Either way she just sat there. She sat there staring intently at Ian as if he'd just grown a third eye, or maybe he'd just made a strange sound out of his ear. In reality thoughts were going through her head at a million miles a second, but it was a look that could be easily taken the wrong way.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! Was the only thing going through Ian's mind. "Shit," he stammered as he sat back, running a hand through his hair again. "I," he paused for a bit before adding again. "Shit. Not I shit. I mean. I. I'm. Sorry." He turned his head to the door and without even moving his gaze back to her, "Did you want me to go? I can go. Sorry."
Surrender was so startled by Ian's outburst that she actually felt herself jump. What? What was wrong now? Did he regret it? Was he upset with himself? He seemed really embarrassed. Embarrassed enough to tell her he shit on accident, when really there was no shitting occurring. Wait...why the hell was she thinking about shitting in any case? He was asking if she wanted him to leave. Why would she want him to leave. He'd just kissed her! Wasn't that good?
The entire thought process took place in Surrender's mind with her just sitting there with a look of mild curiosity on her face until the last thought entered her mind. She didn't want him to leave, though. No. So what should she do? Should she tell him she didn't want him to go? Would he believe her? Would he just think she was being polite by telling him to stay?
Probably. He seemed like he was like that. Then how could she-
"No, I--"
Surrender wasn't a particularly spontaneous person in a lot of cases. She thought things through, in most situations, unless it was demanded that she make a decision right then, and this was one of those situations.
Deciding only after a moment's thought, Surrender leaned forward and set her hand on his shoulder. Oh god how long had it been since she'd done anything like this. So long. She was embarrassingly out of practice. So embarrassingly out of practice that she wasn't sure if she was even being rude.
Well, as it was, she couldn't get any more rude than Natalia had been, and with that reasoning in mind she plunged forward with plan. She put her hand against his jaw to turn his head back to her and took a deep breath. Oh dear God was she chickening out? Shit, she may have been.
"I don't.... really want you to go," she said with every bit of genuine tone she could muster, looking at him directly in the eyes to drive the idea home.
Nice, Surrender. Way to choke. Ah, well, she thought. There was always another time.
Ian turned to look at Surrender again when he felt the contact of the hand on the shoulder. It was when she spoke that he relaxed again and smiled. "Good, don't worry a man with that kinda thing. Okay? S'not good business." He rested his hand on top of hers that was on his shoulder and squeezed it a bit.
The hand on the side of his face caused Ian's eyes to widen a bit. Not that he would be unwelcoming to whatever was to come, but he was just surprised. Why? Who really knew, but it wasn't anything that he was really expecting. There was this fine woman sitting in front of him and he had jumped the gun with giving her the quick kiss. But she wasn't angry. And she kind of looked like she wanted to kiss him, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions because that wasn't his style. Then his mind briefly jumped to the realization that Natalia was somewhere in the general vicinity so that was probably why or maybe he was a bad kisser. But no one had told him that. In fact, he had heard the opposite.
Maybe they were all lying to him. Oh god, his ego. His poor, precious ego.
He sat there for a few seconds more before adding, "The master likes you."
Surrender was sure she looked startled when Ian told her not to worry a guy like that. Had she worried him? Had she made him think she wanted him to leave? She didn't remember doing that. People were so confusing. She certainly didn't want him to leave, in fact, she was still at this point trying to work up the courage to kiss him. But she thought it might be awkward now. He didn't really seem like he wanted to anymore.
Why was she even worrying about that? Surrender rarely worried about that sort of thing. She was, again, acting like a 17 year old girl who had never kissed a boy in her life. What was it about Ian that reverted her back into something absolutely ridiculous? Surrender had no idea but she was beginning to get irritated with herself.
Before she could really gather herself enough to apologize for making him feel like she wanted him to leave he quoted Manos again, causing her to laugh.
"He wants you for his wife. The master loves beautiful women~" she said in her best 'smooth Torgo' voice then moved in closer and glared, "But he can't have you. I WANT YOU! He can't have you!"
She moved in a little closer with her patented Surrender FIERCE FACE (which in reality probably couldn't scare a rabbit with blood sugar problems but nothing else), before laughing again and moving to sit next to him rather than more or less on top of him.
Still chuckling she leaned against the table behind them comfortable and tried her best not to look back at him for at least a few moments. She really wanted to do something. Take his hand, maybe, maybe lean against his arm. Touch his neck again?
"I'm sorry," She said in a distracted sort of manner, mentally scolding herself to concentrate on what she was saying rather than her libido for a second. "If I made you think that I wanted you to leave, that is. I'm not into bad busi-"
Oh, for crying out loud. This was enough. She had just realized that she didn't care how awkward a moment it was. With a quick glance up at the doorway to make sure that Natalia was still outside examining the lawnmower longingly rather than RIGHT THERE WATCHING, Surrender sat forward again, making a small sound of frustration. She turned around and brought her hands to the back of his neck all in one fairly graceful motion. Nice, Suri, she commended herself before giving Ian a very small grin then leaning forward and setting her lips against his. As easy as it was to mistake Ian's kiss as an accident one would have to take Surrender's Thursday classes to mistake this one for anything resembling unintentional. She wasn't sure what she was expecting from him but she did have a moment of pause as she waited to see if he was going to freak over it. Why he would have freaked? Well it had been an emotionally trying night.... well, that's why she told herself she was worried he was going to freak. The real reasons? Well she was good at fooling herself. They didn't matter.
Still thrown, but amused, by Surrender's Torgo impression, Ian was completely in shock when she kissed him. WHAT DO I DO, he thought (and yes, the thought is best displayed in all caps). Oh, dear reader, we have a poor confused soul on our hands. Ian was almost frozen, but he realized and realized quickly that for this to work you normally have to kiss back, right? That would be the best course of action, given the situation. He couldn't decide which was better - the smooth way she leaned into the kiss or the kiss itself. Regardless, he kissed her back and was inwardly amused, mostly because of the thoughts of what he was going to do when the kiss was finally broken.
Awkward moment was awkward as the kiss continued. It wasn't the kiss itself that was awkward, but more the fact that it was all happening and happening somewhat fast. Sure, Ian loved the ladies and he frequently kissed girls, even after just meeting them. But, as said before, it was different this time.
After a while, Ian pulled away and planted gentle kisses until he reached Surrender's ear. Even though she couldn't see his face, the smug smirk on his face was obvious as he spoke quietly into her ear, "The Master would not approve."
Oddly, Surrender was perfectly okay with the awkward way in which the kiss had happened. It was already awkward. The whole situation with the random kiss of Ian's had been one of the more awkward moments she'd experienced. She saw nothing wrong with at least taking advantage of the awkwardness. Of course, she hadn't expected to get so into it that she'd more or less crawled into his lap but really she was okay with that too.
Surrender felt herself becoming disappointed when Ian finally pulled away but scolded herself internally. No,no, Surrender THAT needed to happen. No feeling disappointed over something like that.... but her disappointment disintegrated abruptly as he ran kisses up her jaw. Were those goosebumps? probably........ alright, definitely.
What he whispered in her ear caused her to snerk loudly with shocked amusement. NOT exactly what she'd been expecting to hear. She pretended she hadn't just made a relatively embarrassing sound with her throat/nasal passage and leaned back, her eyebrows knit in frustration, but resting one of her arms over his shoulder in a relaxed manner. "But...the master has six wives. Why can't I have one for myself?" she asked in a dejected manner.
With that she leaned forward a little again, looking as if she was about to kiss him again but paused, breathed in then opened her eyes and smiled at him before turning and rolling to the side and sitting comfortably next to him, leaned against the table behind them and looking pleased with herself in a relaxed sort of way.