LOG; we watch the whole world fall apart; VAN + RENÉE
who; Van and Renée
what; Talking
where; Outside Disneyland Paris
when; Friday night, after Van's latest post
Van might have had all the emotional sensitivity of a rock, but Renée wasn't that much better, herself -- she didn't really have a clue how to deal with things like this, usually she locked herself in her room when things didn't go her way and either drank herself into a stupor, or ate until she felt like throwing up. She guessed Van didn't do either of those when he was feeling down, though, and even though she felt like going to Disneyland when he'd just killed his brother was a shit thing to do, well.
It was the first thing that came to mind, anyway. It should have creeped her out that Van was even capable of murdering his younger brother, but it didn't. Crossing her arms she waited restlessly at the entrance of the park for Van to arrive.
It didn't matter where the location was really, Van just needed fresh air. He'd never had had to turn against his own family (or was it his own family turned against him?) but what happened in his home earlier was leaving an impression.
If it was someone else, he wouldn't have cared. But it was Ferdi of all people. Van wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. Angry, sad, happy? He had just furthered the White Order of Paris' goal but delivered a huge blow to his family. He never thought too much about family, when he thought about it. If anyone were to ask him... he would probably answer very casually on the topic.
Further up ahead, he could spot Renée waiting for him. He yanked off his tie-- the tie he had used against Ferdi-- and pulled out a lighter.
"Don't mind," he said to her.
She had been waiting in a more secluded area where people didn't pass by so no one noticed the two of them.
"Huh?" She shrugged, and looked away. "Whatever you want."
And the tie was set alight. It would have been gross to wear it anyway. He let it fall to the grown and then stepped on it to take out the small flame.
"I guess it's all done now."
"Guess so." Upon closer inspection Van looked as poised as ever, but she had no doubt that he was probably feeling shaken after what he'd had to do. It was only human.
"Do you want to go in? Wiggins and the others are probably like, gone now. I have an annual pass so I don't need to pay for my ticket so I don't care either way, but it'd sort of be a waste since it's already night. Or we could just bum around outside."
The hilarious thing about the two of them is that Van was the shorter one. He actually had to look up a bit at Renée when he spoke to her, like he was doing now.
"You have an annual pass?" Van smirked a bit. Why was he not surprised? Ivonna and Atticus had their fair share of weird qualities as well. "Whatever you want. I don't really care if we go in or not."
She wasn't really embarrassed, she liked going and she did take her siblings on a regular basis. Nor was she that bothered by the fact that he was shorter; he was hot and she was hot, did it matter? No. Girls who needed their boyfriends to be taller than they were needed to reevaluate their priorities. .. Not that she was dating him, or that they even liked each other in that way. Robovan.
"All three of us do. My brother and sister too, I mean, they like going a lot."
She paused a little in thought, she didn't really want to go in. They could see the fireworks just as easily out here when they came on, anyway.
"Let's just sit here," she said, pointing at a bench.
He was expecting her to want to go inside but didn't argue when they headed over to a bench.
Strangely, he didn't feel so social tonight. Everything felt weird and as if time was passing slowly. Van hadn't felt this way since when he first joined the Order and tasted the sheer difference between his power then and the other high ranking members.
She didn't expect him to be feeling social; she didn't even know why she'd said to meet her here when she had suggested he get some rest right before it.
Making herself comfortable, or as comfortable as she could get on a bench, she saw a piece of trash on the floor. Calling to mind the pyrokinetic she'd met a while back, forcing herself to feel annoyed (since that was the emotion she associated him with), she caused it to spontaneously burst into flame.
Something something. Distractions.
"So."
"So." He imitated her and then leaned his head back on the bench. "Are we supposed to talk about feelings? What happened to Robovan?"
Robovan.
Van didn't think about feelings because they never intertwined with work. The only feelings he usually experienced were satisfaction or annoyance. Maybe that's all he knew and Renée knew it, too.
"Whatever you want. I usually don't talk about my feelings with anyone, so it's not a big deal if you don't feel like talking about anything. We could just.." She took out her cell phone and looked at the time. "Wait for fireworks to come on in about fifteen."
"Isn't that what females do? Talk about your feelings and..." he paused, not wanting to bring up menstruation. "...female stuff."
He sighed.
"I just... feel strange. Can't get Ferdi's voice out of my head."
"Bleed from their vaginas?" she added bluntly. "But yeah, I guess. I'm just not that close to anyone." Except her siblings, but she wasn't going to go off crying to them about her problems. She hated showing weakness, but showing weakness in front of family was worse.
"... Yeah. I don't blame you."
There was nothing else she really could say, and it was true, Renée didn't blame Van - it wasn't as though he'd enjoyed it. It didn't really make sense to her as she knew Van could be heartless to the point of inhumanity, but nothing was making sense anymore.
"Like you said, you do what you have to do," she added hesitantly.
He had taken glee in hearing about the Tran's-- maybe this was just bad karma. What does around comes around.
"Same," he said, opening his collar wider and keep his head back with eyes shut. "I only have Adrienne who I can trust."
Yeah, he did what he had to do. Why did it take so long? He wondered if things would have been different if Ferdi's day was the same as when Van sense his awakening instead of having to eye him like a hawk for a month. Probably in that time he had--
Feelings. Van didn't want to think on it because if he let himself get emotional, it could get in his way and the Order's.
"Trying to think of a good lie about Ferdi dying." He said. "My parents are going to call again."
"It's not that I don't trust people.. well, I don't trust most, but my problems are my own and I don't want to make other people deal with them." Maybe Van could rely on Adrienne, but who could Renée rely on?
It was hard to know what was wrong or right anymore. Killing Ferdi was wrong, but it was for the greater good - if the Gates were opened things would change, really change. It was impossible to think of things in just Black and White, Renée was finding that she could see some things from the Black Order's perspective. It was just that she wanted this world to change, and not live forever with the status quo.
"I guess you could say he ran away or something, and never came back. There's no evidence left, is there?"
It was fairly obvious Renée had trust issues but Van didn't think she was that self-conscious about it.
"You want me to tell my family I let my own brother run away?" he chided. "I'd be dead before you know it."
His imagination ran wild for a second before he tossed out the idea of the Gates opening and the sacrificed being alive. When you died, you stayed dead. Everything was over. This is why Van had to stay alive; because he wasn't done with his work yet.
Oh. Right.
She frowned a little, it would be difficult.. to explain someone's death when no traces of them were left behind.
"Don't they know you're in the Order, or anything?"
"Of course not." He said. "Imagine if someone like Ferdi knew-- who knows what my mother would say if she found out."
"Mm. I guess you're right. Family seems to get involved in this easily, though." Van and Ferdi. Ophelia and Laertes. "It might just be a matter of time before one of them ends up in this mess, too," she said, mostly to herself.
Van overheard her.
"Your siblings?"
There was an eerie possibility that once you were an Order member, others in the family got chosen.
"... Yeah."
There was an uncomfortable pause; she didn't like revealing her weaknesses to other people. And there was a good chance she'd said too much to Van already. It wasn't like she could trust him fully.
"Whatever, if it happens, then it happens, and I'll deal with it then," she said, trying to act nonchalant though her body language said otherwise.
He peeked at her with one eye and could see the discomfort. Not wanting to get punched in the dick again, Van let it slide.
"It's human nature. We deal with it as it goes."
Renée was thankful he didn't say anything.
"Yeah. We'll deal with it as it goes," she echoed quietly, observing the sky just as the first fireworks began to go off. Not really paying attention to Van, she let a small smile cross her face; she had always loved fireworks since she was a young girl and her father brought her here.
Van opened his eyes upon the start of the fireworks and stared at them. He looked over at Renée and saw the smile on her face while her attention was focused on the display of colorful lights in the sky.
"Reminiscing, huh?" he said aloud and realized his mistake.
"Yeah," Renée said absently. "I came with my dad when I was little, before my parents split." And before they died.
"I used to hate him, but then he went and died. So I kind of feel guilty at times, I guess. Anyway, didn't you used to come here as a kid or anything?"
She was quick to changing the topic to him.
"Not really. I liked... working." He said, amused by himself.
"You need to learn how to loosen up, have more fun," she teased, albeit she was half-serious about it.
"I know how to have fun." He defended.
Then after much egging on Sarah's part, Van leaned over and captured Renée's lips in a kiss.
Huhuhu.
Her eyes widened at first before she kissed back tentatively, before deepening it. The firework show was nearing its end, but neither of them took notice of it.
what; Talking
where; Outside Disneyland Paris
when; Friday night, after Van's latest post
Van might have had all the emotional sensitivity of a rock, but Renée wasn't that much better, herself -- she didn't really have a clue how to deal with things like this, usually she locked herself in her room when things didn't go her way and either drank herself into a stupor, or ate until she felt like throwing up. She guessed Van didn't do either of those when he was feeling down, though, and even though she felt like going to Disneyland when he'd just killed his brother was a shit thing to do, well.
It was the first thing that came to mind, anyway. It should have creeped her out that Van was even capable of murdering his younger brother, but it didn't. Crossing her arms she waited restlessly at the entrance of the park for Van to arrive.
It didn't matter where the location was really, Van just needed fresh air. He'd never had had to turn against his own family (or was it his own family turned against him?) but what happened in his home earlier was leaving an impression.
If it was someone else, he wouldn't have cared. But it was Ferdi of all people. Van wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. Angry, sad, happy? He had just furthered the White Order of Paris' goal but delivered a huge blow to his family. He never thought too much about family, when he thought about it. If anyone were to ask him... he would probably answer very casually on the topic.
Further up ahead, he could spot Renée waiting for him. He yanked off his tie-- the tie he had used against Ferdi-- and pulled out a lighter.
"Don't mind," he said to her.
She had been waiting in a more secluded area where people didn't pass by so no one noticed the two of them.
"Huh?" She shrugged, and looked away. "Whatever you want."
And the tie was set alight. It would have been gross to wear it anyway. He let it fall to the grown and then stepped on it to take out the small flame.
"I guess it's all done now."
"Guess so." Upon closer inspection Van looked as poised as ever, but she had no doubt that he was probably feeling shaken after what he'd had to do. It was only human.
"Do you want to go in? Wiggins and the others are probably like, gone now. I have an annual pass so I don't need to pay for my ticket so I don't care either way, but it'd sort of be a waste since it's already night. Or we could just bum around outside."
The hilarious thing about the two of them is that Van was the shorter one. He actually had to look up a bit at Renée when he spoke to her, like he was doing now.
"You have an annual pass?" Van smirked a bit. Why was he not surprised? Ivonna and Atticus had their fair share of weird qualities as well. "Whatever you want. I don't really care if we go in or not."
She wasn't really embarrassed, she liked going and she did take her siblings on a regular basis. Nor was she that bothered by the fact that he was shorter; he was hot and she was hot, did it matter? No. Girls who needed their boyfriends to be taller than they were needed to reevaluate their priorities. .. Not that she was dating him, or that they even liked each other in that way. Robovan.
"All three of us do. My brother and sister too, I mean, they like going a lot."
She paused a little in thought, she didn't really want to go in. They could see the fireworks just as easily out here when they came on, anyway.
"Let's just sit here," she said, pointing at a bench.
He was expecting her to want to go inside but didn't argue when they headed over to a bench.
Strangely, he didn't feel so social tonight. Everything felt weird and as if time was passing slowly. Van hadn't felt this way since when he first joined the Order and tasted the sheer difference between his power then and the other high ranking members.
She didn't expect him to be feeling social; she didn't even know why she'd said to meet her here when she had suggested he get some rest right before it.
Making herself comfortable, or as comfortable as she could get on a bench, she saw a piece of trash on the floor. Calling to mind the pyrokinetic she'd met a while back, forcing herself to feel annoyed (since that was the emotion she associated him with), she caused it to spontaneously burst into flame.
Something something. Distractions.
"So."
"So." He imitated her and then leaned his head back on the bench. "Are we supposed to talk about feelings? What happened to Robovan?"
Robovan.
Van didn't think about feelings because they never intertwined with work. The only feelings he usually experienced were satisfaction or annoyance. Maybe that's all he knew and Renée knew it, too.
"Whatever you want. I usually don't talk about my feelings with anyone, so it's not a big deal if you don't feel like talking about anything. We could just.." She took out her cell phone and looked at the time. "Wait for fireworks to come on in about fifteen."
"Isn't that what females do? Talk about your feelings and..." he paused, not wanting to bring up menstruation. "...female stuff."
He sighed.
"I just... feel strange. Can't get Ferdi's voice out of my head."
"Bleed from their vaginas?" she added bluntly. "But yeah, I guess. I'm just not that close to anyone." Except her siblings, but she wasn't going to go off crying to them about her problems. She hated showing weakness, but showing weakness in front of family was worse.
"... Yeah. I don't blame you."
There was nothing else she really could say, and it was true, Renée didn't blame Van - it wasn't as though he'd enjoyed it. It didn't really make sense to her as she knew Van could be heartless to the point of inhumanity, but nothing was making sense anymore.
"Like you said, you do what you have to do," she added hesitantly.
He had taken glee in hearing about the Tran's-- maybe this was just bad karma. What does around comes around.
"Same," he said, opening his collar wider and keep his head back with eyes shut. "I only have Adrienne who I can trust."
Yeah, he did what he had to do. Why did it take so long? He wondered if things would have been different if Ferdi's day was the same as when Van sense his awakening instead of having to eye him like a hawk for a month. Probably in that time he had--
Feelings. Van didn't want to think on it because if he let himself get emotional, it could get in his way and the Order's.
"Trying to think of a good lie about Ferdi dying." He said. "My parents are going to call again."
"It's not that I don't trust people.. well, I don't trust most, but my problems are my own and I don't want to make other people deal with them." Maybe Van could rely on Adrienne, but who could Renée rely on?
It was hard to know what was wrong or right anymore. Killing Ferdi was wrong, but it was for the greater good - if the Gates were opened things would change, really change. It was impossible to think of things in just Black and White, Renée was finding that she could see some things from the Black Order's perspective. It was just that she wanted this world to change, and not live forever with the status quo.
"I guess you could say he ran away or something, and never came back. There's no evidence left, is there?"
It was fairly obvious Renée had trust issues but Van didn't think she was that self-conscious about it.
"You want me to tell my family I let my own brother run away?" he chided. "I'd be dead before you know it."
His imagination ran wild for a second before he tossed out the idea of the Gates opening and the sacrificed being alive. When you died, you stayed dead. Everything was over. This is why Van had to stay alive; because he wasn't done with his work yet.
Oh. Right.
She frowned a little, it would be difficult.. to explain someone's death when no traces of them were left behind.
"Don't they know you're in the Order, or anything?"
"Of course not." He said. "Imagine if someone like Ferdi knew-- who knows what my mother would say if she found out."
"Mm. I guess you're right. Family seems to get involved in this easily, though." Van and Ferdi. Ophelia and Laertes. "It might just be a matter of time before one of them ends up in this mess, too," she said, mostly to herself.
Van overheard her.
"Your siblings?"
There was an eerie possibility that once you were an Order member, others in the family got chosen.
"... Yeah."
There was an uncomfortable pause; she didn't like revealing her weaknesses to other people. And there was a good chance she'd said too much to Van already. It wasn't like she could trust him fully.
"Whatever, if it happens, then it happens, and I'll deal with it then," she said, trying to act nonchalant though her body language said otherwise.
He peeked at her with one eye and could see the discomfort. Not wanting to get punched in the dick again, Van let it slide.
"It's human nature. We deal with it as it goes."
Renée was thankful he didn't say anything.
"Yeah. We'll deal with it as it goes," she echoed quietly, observing the sky just as the first fireworks began to go off. Not really paying attention to Van, she let a small smile cross her face; she had always loved fireworks since she was a young girl and her father brought her here.
Van opened his eyes upon the start of the fireworks and stared at them. He looked over at Renée and saw the smile on her face while her attention was focused on the display of colorful lights in the sky.
"Reminiscing, huh?" he said aloud and realized his mistake.
"Yeah," Renée said absently. "I came with my dad when I was little, before my parents split." And before they died.
"I used to hate him, but then he went and died. So I kind of feel guilty at times, I guess. Anyway, didn't you used to come here as a kid or anything?"
She was quick to changing the topic to him.
"Not really. I liked... working." He said, amused by himself.
"You need to learn how to loosen up, have more fun," she teased, albeit she was half-serious about it.
"I know how to have fun." He defended.
Then after much egging on Sarah's part, Van leaned over and captured Renée's lips in a kiss.
Huhuhu.
Her eyes widened at first before she kissed back tentatively, before deepening it. The firework show was nearing its end, but neither of them took notice of it.