Growing Pains
Well, I'm sitting here hoveling food into my face as fast as I can. Man I feel better.
We've done it. Sandy and I have taken a break. At first I wasn't sure if we were going to; I definitely didn't want to. But this is what Sandy needs. It was so hard today to leave her house for what could possibly be a long time. I looked around and took in everything that I could: scenes, smells. I looked at her often as I gathered some of my things that I had left at her house. She is beautiful. While we aren't exactly breaking up, we are not going to see each other for a long time. She needs to be "sure". And I need to grow up. So many questions run through my mind. Will we make it? Is this it? Or is there more?
We feel there is more...much much more. But time will tell. Time always tells. Will we have a stronger relationship when this is finished? Or will we merely have ashes from a pyre built on love? I feel strength, passion, desire. I feel that we will make it. We've gotta make it. She's my lobster.
I honestly feel good right now. A couple weeks down the road...probably not so much. "We can do this," I'll say to myself. "I love you, Ed, and I don't want to lose you." "We're gonna make it; I'm so glad you are letting me do this." "I just need some time to get my personal life back in order." "I still want a life together, and I think you'd make an excellent father."
I sure hope she is right. She's who I want. Sandy, when I get you back, I'm never letting go. Never.
We've done it. Sandy and I have taken a break. At first I wasn't sure if we were going to; I definitely didn't want to. But this is what Sandy needs. It was so hard today to leave her house for what could possibly be a long time. I looked around and took in everything that I could: scenes, smells. I looked at her often as I gathered some of my things that I had left at her house. She is beautiful. While we aren't exactly breaking up, we are not going to see each other for a long time. She needs to be "sure". And I need to grow up. So many questions run through my mind. Will we make it? Is this it? Or is there more?
We feel there is more...much much more. But time will tell. Time always tells. Will we have a stronger relationship when this is finished? Or will we merely have ashes from a pyre built on love? I feel strength, passion, desire. I feel that we will make it. We've gotta make it. She's my lobster.
I honestly feel good right now. A couple weeks down the road...probably not so much. "We can do this," I'll say to myself. "I love you, Ed, and I don't want to lose you." "We're gonna make it; I'm so glad you are letting me do this." "I just need some time to get my personal life back in order." "I still want a life together, and I think you'd make an excellent father."
I sure hope she is right. She's who I want. Sandy, when I get you back, I'm never letting go. Never.