[NTGC] On Duty and Babies
Title: On Duty and Babies
Characters: Nexus and Luth
Word Count: ~1700
Summary: Nexus figures Luth is the best person to go to for advice about duty.
Notes: RP with lunapome following adventure 53.
Nexus stayed pretty busy during the evening following its conversation with Fourth on the temple roof - working with nexi crafters to strengthen the enchantment on its armor, or chatting with Kefree, the newborn nexi, when it slowed down for a minute. (Crystal, the other new nexi, remained ensconced with Fourth and no one else had seen her.) Once it ended up with some free time to let its thoughts settle, Nexus found itself wandering over to Ironbloom's inn and knocking on Luth's door.
"You can come in Nexus." Luth called over his shoulder. Luth put away his paint brush and easel as Nexus came in. He smiled at the construct "What can I do for you?"
Nexus sat down on the bed and faced Luth, resting its elbows on its knees and its chin in its hands. "Luth, do you think people should have a duty to make babies?
Luth nearly choked if he had been drinking anything it would have been all over the construct and the room. "What? No, of course not..." Luth trailed off as enlightenment struck him and made a small 'o' with his mouth. He flipped a chair around and sat in it backwards resting his forearms against the backrest. "Who told you your duty was to make more nexi?"
"Fourth," Nexus replied. "It pointed out that I'm the only one who can create more nexi, and if I die, it's possible we'll never be able to create nexi again. Fourth is right," it admitted. "I never thought about it that way before. But then it said that I should retire from fighting so I won't risk dying, and the thought that I should do something just because of this ability I have ... that I would have a duty to hide and stop fighting ..." It shook its head in agitation. "And then I thought, you know a lot about duty, and you probably understand Fourth better than I do."
Luth tapped his fingers on his forearm. "Fourth is looking toward the long term survival of your species. That is where Fourth thinks your duty is, but, well... I think that is not a complete... picture." Luth blew out his breath and grasped for words. "Duty is the sense of moral commitment, you as a sentient being, feel toward something and results in action. But it's centered on what *you* think is most important." Luth scratched the back of his head. "Nexus, you are one of a kind, the first of your kind, and because of that every decision you make is going to have consequences. You are in a particularly difficult spot because you have a moral commitment to things that are conflicting right now. Yes, the propagation of the nexi is important, but so are the actions you take in these formative years.” Luth shook his head. "In other words, there are many things only you can do, Nexus. You have to choose what is most important and give that the priority."
Luth hesitated and then added, "If it helps at all, I think it’s very important that you do exactly what you feel you need to do, because I think you are following a god-given destiny and cutting a path for your species."
Nexus shook its head as if to clear it and tried to catch up with Luth's words. He always thought faster than it did. "What do you mean, a god-given destiny? Do you mean Gond? He seemed like ..." It thought back to its meeting with the god, what he had said and how he had acted. "Like he just wanted to make nexi, and see what happened. I don't know if he had any other plans or expectations."
"If Gond really just wanted to create the nexi and see what happened, he wouldn't have sent Kanuran to you and to them. Gond doesn't have paladins,” Luth pointed out. “Kanuran is the only one and Kanuran watches over the nexi."
"Right." Nexus paused, considering its early history with Kanuran. "I think it works better with the nexi community now than it did with me."
Luth snorted as he choked back a laugh. "Yes, well, it still denotes Gond's interest, if nothing else. You have the fingerprints of the gods’ influence all over your life, and not just Gond's. You're only... what, ten now? And yet how many years of your life can you say haven't been influenced by the gods in some way?" Luth looked over at Nexus seated on his bed. "You are more important then you are giving yourself credit for."
"Maybe ... But I don't want to have a destiny from the gods. Tempus is fine - I worship him and so I do things he asks his followers to do." Nexus touched the Ilmateran holy symbol around its neck, bequeathed by Desheir - Ilmater wasn't a god that someone like Nexus would have as a patron, but it could still offer him prayers and do things for him. "I'm okay with doing what a god wants because you like them. I just don't want to have them control my life."
Then Nexus' brain caught up again. "You know, I could say that you are also more important than you give yourself credit for."
Luth smiled slightly. "Given that I don't give myself very much credit, that’s more than likely." He brushed his bangs out of his eyes. "The gods can't actually control your life, or I'm pretty sure they can't. They can present options, give power, take away power; they can intervene. But one thing the Time of Troubles showed us, and recent activity," he added, remembering Tempus, "is that they are irrevocably tied to their followers. We, as their followers, have more power over the gods than gods have over us." Luth realized he was getting off topic. "The point I am trying to say is that the gods created you, guide you, and help you, because they need you. In this they are at your mercy. Whether or not you wish to accomplish said 'destiny' is entirely up to you."
"We do have more power than them, don't we?" Nexus agreed, its voice quiet. "Tempus ... I'm pretty sure he wants me, and his other followers, to help him. I'll do that, whatever it takes. But if Gond gave me the ability to make more nexi because he wants me to be the one to make our babies, then I don't want to do what he wants. Even though I like him, and I care about the nexi, and I do think it's good to create more of them." It looked down at its hands. "I've never had a duty put on me like this before, where I think it's right but I still won't do it."
Luth nodded, encouraging. "And why won't you do it? Is it because it's not what you want to do, or is it because you think something else is more important?"
"Because I think fighting Garagos is more important. And after that, I know there are other causes I want to fight for. And it's not that it doesn't matter if the nexi stop propagating," it said, borrowing Fourth's wording, "but it's important that they're born into a good world, too. Fourth seems to think that survival should be the first priority for the nexi, but at least for me it's not."
After a pause, Nexus admitted, "And I also just don't want to do it. I don't want to just stay at home making babies."
Luth was careful to keep his face straight at that last sentence. "Then I think you already understand where your own position is and where Fourth’s position is."
Nexus nodded. "It's ... hard, though. I think this is the right decision, but if I do get killed and no one can figure out another way to create more nexi, it would be because of my choice. I wish someone else had this ability, someone who did want this duty."
Luth shook his head. "Someone has already made nexi procreation their duty. It's just figuring out how to replicate what you can do that is a bit tricky. But you are already helping them out, and I think that just because you are not devoting one hundred percent to it doesn't mean you are not helping."
"Yes." Nexus said the word slowly as it considered Luth's words, then said it again more decisively, "Yes. That is how I feel, too." It looked over at Luth; the rueful expression in its glowing eyes and metal face was one that only a few people could recognize. "I am afraid for them, though. The other nexi. I'm fine with choosing to risk myself, and with them choosing to risk themselves. With this, I'm the only one who can choose, but all of us get risked."
Luth held the nexi's gaze. "Then make sure you are not risking them in vain."
"I will." Much of Nexus' body did not bend, but it seemed to sit up a little straighter. "I'm glad we're on the same team, Luth. I'd feel a lot less hopeful without your help."
Luth was momentarily taken aback and felt his face begin to flush. "I- I do what I can. Just glad I can be of service to a friend."
"Hm," Nexus said, a nexi version of a laugh. "After what we talked about, I don't think I want to ask you for service. I'll just say ... Thanks. For being a good friend."
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Characters: Nexus and Luth
Word Count: ~1700
Summary: Nexus figures Luth is the best person to go to for advice about duty.
Notes: RP with lunapome following adventure 53.
Nexus stayed pretty busy during the evening following its conversation with Fourth on the temple roof - working with nexi crafters to strengthen the enchantment on its armor, or chatting with Kefree, the newborn nexi, when it slowed down for a minute. (Crystal, the other new nexi, remained ensconced with Fourth and no one else had seen her.) Once it ended up with some free time to let its thoughts settle, Nexus found itself wandering over to Ironbloom's inn and knocking on Luth's door.
"You can come in Nexus." Luth called over his shoulder. Luth put away his paint brush and easel as Nexus came in. He smiled at the construct "What can I do for you?"
Nexus sat down on the bed and faced Luth, resting its elbows on its knees and its chin in its hands. "Luth, do you think people should have a duty to make babies?
Luth nearly choked if he had been drinking anything it would have been all over the construct and the room. "What? No, of course not..." Luth trailed off as enlightenment struck him and made a small 'o' with his mouth. He flipped a chair around and sat in it backwards resting his forearms against the backrest. "Who told you your duty was to make more nexi?"
"Fourth," Nexus replied. "It pointed out that I'm the only one who can create more nexi, and if I die, it's possible we'll never be able to create nexi again. Fourth is right," it admitted. "I never thought about it that way before. But then it said that I should retire from fighting so I won't risk dying, and the thought that I should do something just because of this ability I have ... that I would have a duty to hide and stop fighting ..." It shook its head in agitation. "And then I thought, you know a lot about duty, and you probably understand Fourth better than I do."
Luth tapped his fingers on his forearm. "Fourth is looking toward the long term survival of your species. That is where Fourth thinks your duty is, but, well... I think that is not a complete... picture." Luth blew out his breath and grasped for words. "Duty is the sense of moral commitment, you as a sentient being, feel toward something and results in action. But it's centered on what *you* think is most important." Luth scratched the back of his head. "Nexus, you are one of a kind, the first of your kind, and because of that every decision you make is going to have consequences. You are in a particularly difficult spot because you have a moral commitment to things that are conflicting right now. Yes, the propagation of the nexi is important, but so are the actions you take in these formative years.” Luth shook his head. "In other words, there are many things only you can do, Nexus. You have to choose what is most important and give that the priority."
Luth hesitated and then added, "If it helps at all, I think it’s very important that you do exactly what you feel you need to do, because I think you are following a god-given destiny and cutting a path for your species."
Nexus shook its head as if to clear it and tried to catch up with Luth's words. He always thought faster than it did. "What do you mean, a god-given destiny? Do you mean Gond? He seemed like ..." It thought back to its meeting with the god, what he had said and how he had acted. "Like he just wanted to make nexi, and see what happened. I don't know if he had any other plans or expectations."
"If Gond really just wanted to create the nexi and see what happened, he wouldn't have sent Kanuran to you and to them. Gond doesn't have paladins,” Luth pointed out. “Kanuran is the only one and Kanuran watches over the nexi."
"Right." Nexus paused, considering its early history with Kanuran. "I think it works better with the nexi community now than it did with me."
Luth snorted as he choked back a laugh. "Yes, well, it still denotes Gond's interest, if nothing else. You have the fingerprints of the gods’ influence all over your life, and not just Gond's. You're only... what, ten now? And yet how many years of your life can you say haven't been influenced by the gods in some way?" Luth looked over at Nexus seated on his bed. "You are more important then you are giving yourself credit for."
"Maybe ... But I don't want to have a destiny from the gods. Tempus is fine - I worship him and so I do things he asks his followers to do." Nexus touched the Ilmateran holy symbol around its neck, bequeathed by Desheir - Ilmater wasn't a god that someone like Nexus would have as a patron, but it could still offer him prayers and do things for him. "I'm okay with doing what a god wants because you like them. I just don't want to have them control my life."
Then Nexus' brain caught up again. "You know, I could say that you are also more important than you give yourself credit for."
Luth smiled slightly. "Given that I don't give myself very much credit, that’s more than likely." He brushed his bangs out of his eyes. "The gods can't actually control your life, or I'm pretty sure they can't. They can present options, give power, take away power; they can intervene. But one thing the Time of Troubles showed us, and recent activity," he added, remembering Tempus, "is that they are irrevocably tied to their followers. We, as their followers, have more power over the gods than gods have over us." Luth realized he was getting off topic. "The point I am trying to say is that the gods created you, guide you, and help you, because they need you. In this they are at your mercy. Whether or not you wish to accomplish said 'destiny' is entirely up to you."
"We do have more power than them, don't we?" Nexus agreed, its voice quiet. "Tempus ... I'm pretty sure he wants me, and his other followers, to help him. I'll do that, whatever it takes. But if Gond gave me the ability to make more nexi because he wants me to be the one to make our babies, then I don't want to do what he wants. Even though I like him, and I care about the nexi, and I do think it's good to create more of them." It looked down at its hands. "I've never had a duty put on me like this before, where I think it's right but I still won't do it."
Luth nodded, encouraging. "And why won't you do it? Is it because it's not what you want to do, or is it because you think something else is more important?"
"Because I think fighting Garagos is more important. And after that, I know there are other causes I want to fight for. And it's not that it doesn't matter if the nexi stop propagating," it said, borrowing Fourth's wording, "but it's important that they're born into a good world, too. Fourth seems to think that survival should be the first priority for the nexi, but at least for me it's not."
After a pause, Nexus admitted, "And I also just don't want to do it. I don't want to just stay at home making babies."
Luth was careful to keep his face straight at that last sentence. "Then I think you already understand where your own position is and where Fourth’s position is."
Nexus nodded. "It's ... hard, though. I think this is the right decision, but if I do get killed and no one can figure out another way to create more nexi, it would be because of my choice. I wish someone else had this ability, someone who did want this duty."
Luth shook his head. "Someone has already made nexi procreation their duty. It's just figuring out how to replicate what you can do that is a bit tricky. But you are already helping them out, and I think that just because you are not devoting one hundred percent to it doesn't mean you are not helping."
"Yes." Nexus said the word slowly as it considered Luth's words, then said it again more decisively, "Yes. That is how I feel, too." It looked over at Luth; the rueful expression in its glowing eyes and metal face was one that only a few people could recognize. "I am afraid for them, though. The other nexi. I'm fine with choosing to risk myself, and with them choosing to risk themselves. With this, I'm the only one who can choose, but all of us get risked."
Luth held the nexi's gaze. "Then make sure you are not risking them in vain."
"I will." Much of Nexus' body did not bend, but it seemed to sit up a little straighter. "I'm glad we're on the same team, Luth. I'd feel a lot less hopeful without your help."
Luth was momentarily taken aback and felt his face begin to flush. "I- I do what I can. Just glad I can be of service to a friend."
"Hm," Nexus said, a nexi version of a laugh. "After what we talked about, I don't think I want to ask you for service. I'll just say ... Thanks. For being a good friend."
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