The air was sultry
Almost cool enough to be inviting, yet warm enough to know that something was there worthy of your attention. This morning I walked outside only to find out that it had rained sometime in the night. Normally I wake up at these kinds of things, guess I was really tired last night. Sporadically, while on my way to work, I would catch bursts of lightning in the morning sky to the east and the south. Even now I catch glimpses out over Mather. Beautiful I tell you, only wish I was somewhere else to enjoy it. I guess that is how it goes though, when you are not working at a job that you find rewarding.
That leads me into my current attempt at mindfulness. I notice signs that my body is telling me to shape myself up, both mentally and physically. Long gone are the days of intense contemplative practice, stimulating my mind and molding my body. I am literally a shell of my former self. But my awareness of that fact is proof that I am now in a place that will allow for that change, should I accept the responsibility. Seems like an easy answer doesn't it, just do the right thing. But the right, simple path doesn't seem to present itself to my muddled mind. At least that is what the resistance in my mind creates for my awareness. Lately, I have noticed that the thoughts in my head no longer work for current situations. They are old records, amalgamated from past conversations with people that I trusted, and some with people that I no longer trust. It is amazing how much of our past influences current thinking. I find some erroneous thinking with that. While we learn from our past, our past does not equal the present. There are so many variables that would have changed since the last time we would have made a similar decision.
All in all, it has been decided that I resume my own endless quest for self improvement. Wiser choices with all aspects of my life. Really looking at my thought processes and stripping away those with no longer serve that greater purpose. More later...
That leads me into my current attempt at mindfulness. I notice signs that my body is telling me to shape myself up, both mentally and physically. Long gone are the days of intense contemplative practice, stimulating my mind and molding my body. I am literally a shell of my former self. But my awareness of that fact is proof that I am now in a place that will allow for that change, should I accept the responsibility. Seems like an easy answer doesn't it, just do the right thing. But the right, simple path doesn't seem to present itself to my muddled mind. At least that is what the resistance in my mind creates for my awareness. Lately, I have noticed that the thoughts in my head no longer work for current situations. They are old records, amalgamated from past conversations with people that I trusted, and some with people that I no longer trust. It is amazing how much of our past influences current thinking. I find some erroneous thinking with that. While we learn from our past, our past does not equal the present. There are so many variables that would have changed since the last time we would have made a similar decision.
All in all, it has been decided that I resume my own endless quest for self improvement. Wiser choices with all aspects of my life. Really looking at my thought processes and stripping away those with no longer serve that greater purpose. More later...