we need to talk...
so as of right i feel as if i have no control over anything...i mean absolutely nothing, not my friends, not myself, not school, not work, not anything
my car is broken again...it broke in the middle of my one car street so people were getting pissed off bc they had to squeeze around me it was horrible...and i cant get it working again...back to driving the good ol' van...yuck...i went through 4 fuses today and they all blew up the second i started my car, i just want to get a new car so badly and put mine to rest
i have so much work to do the last two weeks of school i feel like i might die...my micoreconomics final is monday and if i dont get a C on it i will fail...he is making me take my time by asking me to get up everytime i answer 8 questions...he says i dont do good bc i dont take my time...but the real reason is because i suck at life *lol* when it comes to test at least :(
then i have a speech and a 15 page paper due next Thursday and it sucks...its so hard and so unecessary...ill be fine with the speech but not the paper
and then i have to do a marketing powerpoint/word/excel/access project for my computer class as well as access project that is due next tuesday
then i have to do 4 more things of math homework, the practice final, and then the final, and all that is due on the 4th...plus i need to go back to try and improve my homework score so i dont get below a B in math
i have to work 8-5 everyday and i only got off early today because somebody asked for more hours and i happened to hear her say that...otherwise it probably wouldnt have been me, i wouldnt mind working there if people there would give recognition when its deserved...i mean linda has a hard time with people turning in their lesson plans the friday before the week the lesson plans are for...i turned in FOUR weeks of lesson plans today and u know what she said? oh wow...these must be great considering u did 4 of them in a two hour span? i mean WHAT THE FUCK? i did it all week today that means 4 x 2 = 8 hours thank you very much! instead of sitting at the table at nap time reading my harry potter book i did fucking lesson plans....that pisses me off so bad!
i dont know what to say to amanda anymore...i mean i know what to say but its never the right thing to say, and its never what she wants to hear and i feel like im always making her feel worse about what shes going through when all im trying to do is make sure she is happy...i want her to be in the situation she is in...for like 2 years its been this up and down cycle...most down and it sucks because i dont know what to do to maker her happy, it makes me feel like im failing as a friend
and allyson...i feel like i havent been there like i should have been for what she was going through...maybe its because of everything thats going on around me right now i just didnt realize exactly what was happening...and when she told me i just kind of ignored it...and not on purpose...i think i was just a little freaked out because it would be weird for one of us to make such a giant step...i say all the time that im ready to grow up but really sometimes im not
stephanie martin has seem to just blown us off completely, all of sudden me, manda, and allyson are totaly non-existent, why? i dont know but i do know that her new boyfriend is more important than us at the moment and that kind of sucks...i mean i wasnt expecting to be like best friends within the first couple of months because i mean honestly it took me and allyson a long time to get we are and it took even longer for me and manda to get where we are but i just hate the feeling, i feel as if she just used us when she was lonely and now that shes not lonely anymore she doesnt need us around, and maybe im being dramatic but thats what it feels like to me...i dunno.
kenny has been great to me that past couple of weeks and i so greatly appreciate it...he listens to everything ihave to say and hes always there for me...he is like awesome times a bunch...
right now i feel like i could die right now and it would be ok because then i wouldnt have a toothache anymore, i wouldnt have to go to school anymore, and i wouldnt have to work 8-5 every fucking day and not get one rewarding thing out of it
my car is broken again...it broke in the middle of my one car street so people were getting pissed off bc they had to squeeze around me it was horrible...and i cant get it working again...back to driving the good ol' van...yuck...i went through 4 fuses today and they all blew up the second i started my car, i just want to get a new car so badly and put mine to rest
i have so much work to do the last two weeks of school i feel like i might die...my micoreconomics final is monday and if i dont get a C on it i will fail...he is making me take my time by asking me to get up everytime i answer 8 questions...he says i dont do good bc i dont take my time...but the real reason is because i suck at life *lol* when it comes to test at least :(
then i have a speech and a 15 page paper due next Thursday and it sucks...its so hard and so unecessary...ill be fine with the speech but not the paper
and then i have to do a marketing powerpoint/word/excel/access project for my computer class as well as access project that is due next tuesday
then i have to do 4 more things of math homework, the practice final, and then the final, and all that is due on the 4th...plus i need to go back to try and improve my homework score so i dont get below a B in math
i have to work 8-5 everyday and i only got off early today because somebody asked for more hours and i happened to hear her say that...otherwise it probably wouldnt have been me, i wouldnt mind working there if people there would give recognition when its deserved...i mean linda has a hard time with people turning in their lesson plans the friday before the week the lesson plans are for...i turned in FOUR weeks of lesson plans today and u know what she said? oh wow...these must be great considering u did 4 of them in a two hour span? i mean WHAT THE FUCK? i did it all week today that means 4 x 2 = 8 hours thank you very much! instead of sitting at the table at nap time reading my harry potter book i did fucking lesson plans....that pisses me off so bad!
i dont know what to say to amanda anymore...i mean i know what to say but its never the right thing to say, and its never what she wants to hear and i feel like im always making her feel worse about what shes going through when all im trying to do is make sure she is happy...i want her to be in the situation she is in...for like 2 years its been this up and down cycle...most down and it sucks because i dont know what to do to maker her happy, it makes me feel like im failing as a friend
and allyson...i feel like i havent been there like i should have been for what she was going through...maybe its because of everything thats going on around me right now i just didnt realize exactly what was happening...and when she told me i just kind of ignored it...and not on purpose...i think i was just a little freaked out because it would be weird for one of us to make such a giant step...i say all the time that im ready to grow up but really sometimes im not
stephanie martin has seem to just blown us off completely, all of sudden me, manda, and allyson are totaly non-existent, why? i dont know but i do know that her new boyfriend is more important than us at the moment and that kind of sucks...i mean i wasnt expecting to be like best friends within the first couple of months because i mean honestly it took me and allyson a long time to get we are and it took even longer for me and manda to get where we are but i just hate the feeling, i feel as if she just used us when she was lonely and now that shes not lonely anymore she doesnt need us around, and maybe im being dramatic but thats what it feels like to me...i dunno.
kenny has been great to me that past couple of weeks and i so greatly appreciate it...he listens to everything ihave to say and hes always there for me...he is like awesome times a bunch...
right now i feel like i could die right now and it would be ok because then i wouldnt have a toothache anymore, i wouldnt have to go to school anymore, and i wouldnt have to work 8-5 every fucking day and not get one rewarding thing out of it